lauramkaye:

marloviandevil:

alisgravenil1and2:

afro-elf:

afro-elf:

thor (2011) is an interesting movie to me because i think, despite a few flaws, the reason it never really took off the way iron man or cap:tfa did was because the audience it reached didn’t match the intended audience. the intended audience was so confused by what they saw because it didn’t reflect their ideal in terms of what they thought a thor movie would be, while the audience it ended up attracting claimed the empty spaces and turned their “sub-fandom” into something that practically rejected the fandoms of mcu!iron man and cap at that time

what i’m trying to say here, in essence, is this:

thor (2011) is a chick flick

to prove my point, i went to the world’s most trustworthy database on film analysis, urban dictionary, and found a few definitions obviously written by men

A film that indulges in the hopes and dreams of women and/or girls. A film that has a happy, fuzzy, ridiculously unrealistic ending.

word which refers to movies characteristically geered at young females in their twenties and late teens. Must include: love scenes, kissing, something sad, a happy ending

A sappy film that is generally geared towards women. It is always a love story, usually a comedy, and nausea inducing in men.

Term for a movie geared for women. Quite often seen on cable TV like The Hallmark Channel and endorsed by people like Oprah. These movies make women the heros and show life from a woman’s perspective. Most men hate these films cuz they are cheezy and dumb. Pussy-whipped men like them…or pretend to.

A movie that embodies all that is wrong with the world; a movie which displays a gross over-indulgence into, and exploration of, the workings of the female psyche and the accomanying emotional tendencies.

Pornography for women.

every complaint i have EVER seen about thor (2011) was about anything contained to earth: jane, darcy, not so much selvig, thor being hammer-less and learning to calm down and be gentle, women only liking it because hemsworth is a 6′3 outback steakhouse victoria’s filet mignon with twinkly dream eyes

but i think that’s because that’s the sentimental part of the movie, the emotional part. it’s driven by a romance and the intellect of a woman (arguably two). thor has to learn to get in touch with his softer side in a world that’s a bit more fragile than his own, furthermore there’s no other steaks– i, em, i mean men like him to balance out. there’s no male audience vessel in this movie

none

oh, you’re thinking selvig? i’m thinking not! there’s no male audience vessel. 

men can’t relate to this movie

oh, you think they can relate to THOR? in the words of drax, “this is not a dude, you’re a dude. this… is a man”. thor is the ideal boyfriend figure, he belongs to everyone who wants a boyfriend, all the thor stans i know are women and/or like men, if you’re a thor stan and a straight guy i automatically have my suspicions and my eyes are guarded by red flags 

#THOR 1 IS A SHAKEPEAREAN CHICK FLICK #THOR IS FOR WOMEN AND THE GAYS AND THAT’S JUST FACTS #the reason why thor’s been called unrelatable for so long was #cos cishet dudes could not fucking relate to him #COS HE A KING MADE OUT OF SUNSHINE WHO LEARNS AND APOLOGISES #FOR HIS MISTAKES #SOMETHING THEY’RE INCAPABLE OF (via @spacefloozy)

You had me at

hemsworth is a 6′3 outback steakhouse victoria’s filet mignon with twinkly dream eyes

I don’t see a lie

annakemdrick:

[on winning writer of the year] My literary agent is here, ‘cause I have a literary agent because I’m very important and intellectual and I’m basically James Joyce if he did vagina jokes. And um, she told me: “you know, they usually give this award to traditional authors”,  which is her way of saying “real authors”, so fuck you.

an acrobat’s guide to getting lucky – Chapter 1 – shrill_fangirl_screaming – The Posterchildren – Kitty Burroughs [Archive of Our Own]

My June/Maks/Ernest Renaissance festival AU is now complete! If any part of that sentence appeals to you in the slightest, go check it out 🙂 It clocks in just shy of 15k and is super fluffy. 

an acrobat’s guide to getting lucky – Chapter 1 – shrill_fangirl_screaming – The Posterchildren – Kitty Burroughs [Archive of Our Own]

avengers as john mulaney quotes

ohstevies:

steve rogers: All my money is in a savings account. Tony has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don’t understand it.

tony stark: I was once on the phone with blockbuster video, which is a very old-fashioned sentence. That’s like when Steve would be like, “We’d all go play jacks by the soda fountain,” and you’re like, “Nobody knows what you’re talking about , you idiot.”

clint barton: It’s fun to be married. I’ve never been supervised before. I’m supervised! My wife studies what I do, like an anthropologist. She’ll be like: “Sometimes, he will watch a movie on TV even though he already owns that movie on DVD. Pointing this out confuses and upsets him.”

bruce banner: In terms of instant relief, cancelling plans is like heroin.

natasha romanoff: I’ll keep my emotions right here, and then one day, I’ll die.

thor: Ah…numbers. The letters of math.

sam wilson: Sometimes babies will point at me, and I don’t care for that shit at all.

bucky barnes: Here’s how easy it was to get away with bank robbery back in the ‘30s: As long as you weren’t there when the police arrived, you had a 99% chance of getting away with it.

scott lang: it’s 100% easier not to do things than to do them.

peter parker: I have had a very long day. I am very small and I have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress I am under.

t’challa: You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.