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send me a pairing + AU and I’ll give you 5+ head canons about it)
SLAMS HANDS DOWN. THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT. THANK YOU, SMOL.
Under a read more because Gail follows my ass.
Category: Uncategorized
Check Please au where Jack doesn’t drink at Haus parties because the last time he drank with Shitty, they ended up married in Vegas
Shitty would bring it up constantly. “It’s just…*sigh*… the romance was gone, ya know? There I would be, dinner on the table, and all he had time for was practice.” or “My beautiful Canadian ex-husband, now that you have signed, I will be expecting my portion.” or “Gasp! Jack, did you use me to get American citizenship??? I feel so used.”
Shitty sending him stuff for their wedding anniversary, long after they have graduated and Jack’s teammates are like, “Who are the flowers from?” Jack would just sigh and hang his head: “My ex-husband.”
Reporters finding out that Jack was married and just having a field day with it. Shitty getting interviewed, wiping away tears as he says that he will always love Jack, but their marriage was doomed from the start because Jack’s heart always belonged to hockey.
Bitty and Jack finally getting together and Shitty texts Jack late one night. Bitty chirps Jack like crazy, wanting to know if he should be jealous and if he is really over his ex-husband. Shitty sending Jack pics of him “seductively” posing. Bitty’s wide-eyed, trying to look hurt but barely managing to hold back his giggles, “Are you sexting him? Is it the mustache? I’ll try growing one or I’ll get a fake one. Please don’t leave me for that glorious flow.”
Jack is a very patient, saintly man.
But he will have his revenge.
AND WHEN BITTY AND JACK START DATING SHITTY YELLS AT JACK “BUT WHAT ABOUT OUR MARRIAGE??? WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS???” AND JACK IS THERE LIKE “WE DID GET MARRIED BUT WE DIDN’T HAVE KIDS” AND SHITTY LOOKS AT JACK WITH THE STRAIGHTEST FACE THAT HE CAN MANAGE AND SAYS“I WANTED TO TELL YOU BEFORE BUT… WE DO HAVE KIDS” AND BITTY GASPS AND JACK JUST WANTS THE DIVORCE ALL OF THE DIVORCES (via @idontreallylikebutterflies)
y’all keep making this better and better I swear
shadowhunters appreciation weeks » favorite episode
#that’s it that’s the entire episode
¯_(シ)_/¯
send me a pairing + AU and I’ll give you 5+ head canons about it
Welcome to Night Vale
What team are you on in Pokemon go?
MYSTIC.
AKA THE ONLY TEAM WORTH BEING ON GET REKT
A new religious statue in the town of Davidson, N.C., is unlike anything you might see in church.
The statue depicts Jesus as a vagrant sleeping on a park bench. St. Alban’s Episcopal Church installed the homeless Jesus statue on its property in the middle of an upscale neighborhood filled with well-kept townhomes.
Jesus is huddled under a blanket with his face and hands obscured; only the crucifixion wounds on his uncovered feet give him away.
The reaction was immediate. Some loved it; some didn’t.
“One woman from the neighborhood actually called police the first time she drove by,” says David Boraks, editor of DavidsonNews.net. “She thought it was an actual homeless person.”
That’s right. Somebody called the cops on Jesus.
And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Since you have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, you have done it unto me.
“Why I Wasn’t Contracted to Write Beauty and the Beast” by I have no idea who, and desperately want to know. If anyone does, please tell me!
Edit: Through knmajorblogs I have discovered the genius behind this piece of art. The genius in question is LordJazor ! Thank you!
“she warned him not to be such an apocalyptic fuck hat to strangers”
“for who could ever learn to love such a cock waffle”
BLESS
THIS IS THE GREATEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN
Reblogged recently, but worth reblogging again.
Nothing can top this lol
“if he could learn not to be a pile of indigestible fuck”
I can’t breathe
Hillary’s 2016 Loss prediction
Source: Trump man baby imagination.
You: missing the joke
Legit: what is the joke?
Nobody tell them. It’s their loss.
I’ve lost way too much time trying to figure out what the heck the joke is.
Some hypothesis’ I came up with:
– The joke is something to do with the concentration of hispanics in each of these states.
– The joke is something obscure and stupid.
– The joke has something to do with recent news I haven’t been paying attention to.
– The joke is that there is no joke, everybody is doing that thing where they pretend they get it to fuck with everybody else.
I’m genuinely mad right now, fuck OP.
I’m at a Loss for words here.
NO
