Category: Uncategorized

shitty-check-please-aus:

schmergo:

Contrary to popular stereotypes associated with fanfiction, I have never written a sex scene, but I did once write a scene in which Voldemort went on a blind date with someone he met on the internet, but it turned out to be Harry Potter catfishing him, so I’m not sure what’s worse

I once wrote a story where Willy Wonka was the true villain behind the dementor attacks because he knew that would increase chocolate sales

stevetomjohn:

I was thinking this weekend about how awkward it was that Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them insists that Americans call muggles “no-maj.” First off, it just doesn’t sound like an abbreviation we’d use, and it sounds even worse in plural. But I finally realized the more important point: it’s too direct. Especially for the time period, Americans would never have been that straightforward in talking about a topic that sensitive. And so I would like to submit, in the spirit of early twentieth-century slang, a list of possible euphemisms we may have used for muggles:

  • He washes his dishes with a cloth.
  • He pays in nickels and dimes.
  • He rides the trolley to work. 
  • He takes his boots to the cobbler.
  • He’s grateful for Mr. Edison.
  • He’s one of Grisham’s boys. (here imagining that Grisham was a prominent wizard who famously fathered no magic children)
  • He dances on the ground.
  • He writes with a pen.
  • He’s fond of a two-piece suit.
  • He’s more King Arthur than Merlin.
  • He’s got to wind his pocket watch.
  • He gets his wax from bees.
  • His wife darns his socks.
  • He treats his ailments with tonics.
  • His portraits stay put.
  • His broom is only for sweeping.

I’m having a little too much fun with this, so if you have any to add, please send them over.

catbountry:

pagesofkenna:

mommacomms:

fidefortitude:

bl00dlikeice:

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

plaid-n-converse:

memeception

WE’VE HIT TERMINAL MEME

@caesarianconfection

I’ve said “I hate this” so many times on this website, and never actually meant it, because “I hate this” is just shorthand for ‘this is an example of a meme given a twist I wasn’t expecting with intent to surprise’. Which is, in of itself, a meme on this site. God damn it.

But this… This is something else.

The rapidity of a meme’s introduction to its zenith to its decline is so rapid that in ten years, you’ll need a damn twenty-page manual to explain this. It’ll be as unfunny and hard to explain as jokes in Shakespeare plays, except even more inexplicable because fuck, at least Shakespeare’s jokes are usually about anal or fucking your mother, good wholesome sex jokes we can all get behind.

For the love of fuck, how do you explain loss.jpg? How do you explain gun?

….I THOUGHT THIS WAS A YMCA REFERENCE

it is a YMCA reference – that’s one of the 6 memes being represented here

ok let me see if i can break this down easily. YMCA is the easiest place to start – the song itself has become a meme over time with people changing the lyrics to reference other pop cultural events. so YMCA is meme one (1)

this first lyric replacement (”take the breadsticks and run”) is a reference to the tumblr meme ‘stuffing breadsticks into my purse’. i think everyone remembers that one so i wont bother to explain it. that’s meme two (2)

“man door hand hook car door” is a meme of its own, a creepypasta from i dont remember when. it was a terrible stupid retelling of the generic ‘stuck in a car while hook handed man tries to kill us’ story so the stupid title caught on for memorability. that in and of itself is meme three (3)

‘gun’ is… yeah i dont know how to explain gun. long story short you add gun to the end of a phrase instead of what you expect the last word to be. its shock funny. its everywhere but its popular to add to “man door hand hook car door” for.. some reason? gun is meme four (4)

and the thing is, this four meme combo is something thats gone around before. meme combos are, itself, a meme. which means taking this meme combo and mixing in another meme actually becomes meme five (5)

which leaves us at loss.jpg. loss.jpg was a terrible bad comic supposed to be about some tragic event, but it was presented so poorly literally no one takes it seriously, and for some reason recreating the four-panel setup has become popular. so thats meme six (6)

(but i need to add that this is the greatest version of loss.jpg i think i’ve ever seen. the initial ‘young man’ lines up with the guy bursting through the door, and the shock meme ‘gun’ matches the shock scene of the woman in the hospital and idk if OP even thought about that but it makes this just so much better)

This is next level shit.

prokopetz:

prokopetz:

Honestly, I’m not surprised that 17776 has been such a hit with the kids. I mean, yeah, on the one hand, it’s deeply, deeply abstruse, and a lot of its subject matter is highly unlikely to be relatable to anyone under 30 – but on the other hand, it’s a pretentious brainfuck of a story told entirely in the form of colour-coded chatlogs from a bunch of pop-culture-obsessed weirdos, intercut with found-image collages, severe abuse of the infinite canvas, and the occasional video. Where have we seen that before?

(To be 100% clear, I’m absolutely not saying “17776 is just Homestuck for middle-aged empty nesters”. I’m just saying that it’s not surprising that there’s an established readership that would find its format and presentation comfortably familiar, in spite of how weird and alienating its subject matter is.)

What football will look like in the future

spookyprime:

jayrockin:

misdrunk:

jayrockin:

Everyone do yourselves a favor and click on this link to have a transformative media-based experience

I don’t need to. The Detroit Lions will still suck and I’ll continue betting on them because I’m stupid.

No you…. really need to click the link

Jon Bois is my favorite sports journalist and this is no exception 

What football will look like in the future