Love, Simon comes out on Netflix on June 19th!!!
Love, Simon comes out on Netflix on June 19th!!!
Love, Simon comes out on Netflix on June 19th!!!
yukio: exists
deadpool: fucking superb you funky little lesbian
‘The Tudors were the medieval Kardashians’ is the best tag I’ve ever read
like let’s be real you can’t argue that one
Past me is an idiot and future me is a bastard I only exist in the present
tfw smol @i-am-having-an-emotion finally logs onto facebook for the first time in….the several years i have known her and finally friends u back
hehehe i’m leaving college and i wanna keep in touch with people and unfortunately that means facebook
bad janet is just gina from brooklyn nine nine
you know what, how about a masterpost of my completed DC fics because whynot
- the one where martha kent has a shotgun and knows how to use it
- the one where everyone goes to smallville for christmas
- the one about bruce wayne trolling twitter
- the one where superman gets a new costume from the guy who’s been drawing his dick #weedhorse69
- the one where bruce wayne is a cantankerous party grandpa
- the one where someone gave batman a toddler
- the one with catwoman as a reverse archaeologist
- the one where catwoman is an art critic and makes batman reinstall snapchat
- the one where batman and catwoman have sex
- the one where lois lane gets drunk
- the one where clark kent saves lois lane by pretending they fucked
- the one with lois lane giving a dubiously consensual hj
- the one where bruce wayne saves women from creeps at parties
- the one with bruce wayne heavily dissociating during sex and it’s actually kind of distressing tbh
- the one where superman cuddles his girlfriend and saves the night
- the one with batman and a duckling
- the one about gothamblr
- the one with the justice league road trip
- the one where batman does ballet
- the one where bruce wayne is a columbo fanboy
- the one where wonder woman and superman and batman are all trying to masturbate and things get weird
- the one with batman and harley quinn grocery shopping
- the one where nightwing doesn’t need to be saved from his own dick
- the one with batman meeting superman for the first time and also lois lane bangs a billionaire and she’s pretty smug about it
- wonder woman and catwoman bang in batman’s bed because he’s busy brooding or whatever it is he does
- batman’s sadness spreadsheet
- batquinn sex pollen fic that turned out cute somehow
- laurel lance had a one night stand with bruce wayne and now she’s a superhero and it’s awk
- selina kyle spends all day in bed, batman pets cats
- poison ivy and harley quinn break into bruce wayne’s office
- batman needs wonder woman’s help breaking a terrible curse that turns him into a savage beast
- someone is making a batman show and batman has opinions
- superman doesn’t want to misgender a crow
- the league gossips about black canary’s new hairdo
- tim drake’s social media featuring bruce wayne getting banned from walmart
Unpretty is a blessing upon this earth, also an excellent writer.
For the record while ATLA is an excellent show and Zukos redemption arc was perfectly paced, I would kill to have had Zuko join the Gaang at the end of book two, because the first half of book three would have been the funniest thing on the planet. Like. Just picture it. A bunch of unsupervised teenagers travelling undercover through enemy territory, trying to blend in… and the only people who have even been there before are 1. A guy who hasnt been there in a century, and 2. The former crown prince who has literally never spoken to a fire nation citizen who wasnt nobility, military, or one of his servants.
Like. Neither of them have any idea what they’re doing, or how normal fire nation citizens act, but they’re pretty sure the other one is wrong. Rest of the gaang knows even less. No adults. Zuko and Aang getting into a shouting debate over the finer points of fire nation culture is a nightly event. They are both so wrong, and so, so awkward
Zuko, for the fifth and probably not last time: FOR THE LAST TIME, NOBODY USES THE PHRASE ‘FLAMEO HOTMAN’!
Aang, aware of that fact but in too deep to back out now: OH YEAH? THEN WHAT DO THEY SAY!?
Zuko, clueless and bluffing: …Something about glory to the Fire Lord?
Toph, well aware that both are lying through their teeth and have no idea what they’re talking about, and fucking loving every second of this train wreck: Clearly the only solution is for both of you to go into town tomorrow and test your theories out.
And the side taking, oh my god the side taking from the other three. Katara sides with Aang every single time. Does she honestly believe that the people of the Fire Nation greet each other with ‘Flame on, my em-brother’? Hell no. Would she rather die than say that Zuko’s correct? Yes.
Sokka usually sides with Zuko, unless he comes up with something astoundingly stupid. Zuko’s thoughts, while usually wrong, sound a lot more plausible then Aangs, and fuck it he’s willing to take a gamble.
Toph is the closest thing to a neutral party they have, in that she knows damn well they’re all full of shit, and has chosen to instead egg them on to make it worse. She’s an agent of chaos, and this is free nightly entertainment. She’s having the time of her life right now.
The debate takes a brief pause once they stop going undercover and get to the business of actually saving the world, but holy shit. once things have settled down? it’s back on with a vengeance. Except now Aang and Zuko aren’t the two most wanted people in the Fire Nation, they’re the two most influential people in the world. They are trendsetters. They can make slang become a thing.
When Zuko first hears the phrase ‘flameo, hotman’ being thrown around casually, it takes a lot of deep breathing exercises to not immediately return to his previous occupation of hunting the Avatar.
Iroh: I’m so proud of the way you’ve been ruling, nephew. Flameo, hotman!
Zuko, in tears: How could you say that
Percy: So now I’m supposed to do anything that Annabeth does? What if she jumped off a cliff?
Chiron: If Annabeth were to jump off a cliff, she would have done his due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry. So, yes, if you see Annabeth jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.
is tony a pta dad? i feel like he is. imagine 47 year old tony stark showing up at the decathlon team’s annual bake sale and getting into a fight with “that jackass, linda, and her dry-ass cake pops with the flimsy skewers. peter whens the next one of these? we’re going to crush linda”
BRUH HE TOTALLY WOULD
so he didn’t mean to be
but flash thompson’s dad is a total asshole
so naturally peter is gonna win first place at the band fundraiser instead of Flash. Tony is a fucking billionaire, he can handle it. Mr. Thompson–his name might be Mike? That’s a dick name–is going to cry in his two-years-ago-BMW, which isn’t that good of a car to begin with. Tony built better cars when he was drunk and eighteen.
Tony didn’t know how to bake. Keyword: didn’t. After one of Peter’s snobby ass classmates’ moms makes fun of Aunt May’s baking skills for the bake sale, Tony takes it upon himself to beat Linda at her own fucking game.
“Dry ass bitch tries to tell me her chocolate truffles are better from her grandmother’s recipe from IOWA. Try me bitch, I got ingredients directly imported from France.”
It should be noted that Peter got this all on video. Including Tony’s ten minute rant about how someone from Iowa wouldn’t know a truffle from a Costco knockoff, and the entire lecture of the invention of chocolate truffles in France.
Tony’s truffles knocked it out of the park. Linda’s were a fucking NIGHTMARE compared to Tony’s. They’re dry.
But then she whips out the CAKE POPS.Tony fumes as hers sell for two dollars “You can’t fake quality,” Linda said smugly.
“Hammer Industries does it all the time, I wouldn’t be surprised,” Tony says back.
He doesn’t know how people make cake pops. But he’s determined.
He hires professional bakers.
Peter posts about it on his finsta, and it’s the FUNNIEST thing that no one can know about.