heres no use hiding it every single god damn link going around on april 1st is gonna be a rick roll. you already know its gonna be a rick roll and yet you still click on it
so I’ve got this headcanon that Guardians of the Galaxy is really the Avengers playing a table top roleplaying game, where Bucky’s the DM who suffers through heaps and loads of trolling
Mostly from Steve
Especially from Steve
Which means Natasha was the one who sat down and wrote out the long, comprehensive backstory for her kickass space assassin Gamora, that Bucky keeps trying to work into the campaign but they keep getting sidetracked by –
Tony who just created what he sees himself as – the suave, wise-cracking space vagabond.
Thor who needed a lot of help building his character and decided on a couple easy to remember traits (Strong, honor, doesn’t get metaphors)
and Bruce who’s actually too busy to pay full attention so any time Bucky asks what he wants to do he just says “I am Groot” and lets Steve decide
Oh my god.
Headcanon accepted so hard
“We need to break out of this prison. Bucky, do I know anything about it?”
“Roll knowledge, Steve.”
“Seventeen.”
“From your years of experience and multiple prison escapes, you believe that if you can get one of the prison guard’s security bands to get into the watchtower, and one of the power cells to overload the security systems, you should be able to pull off an escape.”
“Perfect. Nat, you have sleight of hand trained, right?”
“Yes I do, Steve.”
“Alright, you get the wristband. Bruce, grab the power cell.”
“Yeah, sure, I am Groot.”
“Even in a board game, boy scout has to give the orders, huh?”
“Alright Tony, what’s-”
“Excuse me, my name Star Lord, thank you.”
“…Alright, Star Lord. What’s your plan?”
“Well…Bucky?”
“Knowledge, Tony.”
“…Four.”
“You’ve never been in prison before, so you have no idea. You think Rocket’s plan makes sense though.”
“Alright, fine. What do you want me to do, Captain Raccoon?”
“Only the most important for you, Space King. Bucky, does anyone in the prison have a robotic arm?”
“I swear if you’re going where I think you’re going with–”
“Okay, leg. Robotic leg, not arm.”
“Yes, there is one guy with a prosthetic leg.”
“Tony I want you to get me that guy’s leg.”
“…Why?”
“Just trust me, we need it for the plan.”
“Bucky, can I sense motive on Rocket?”
“Go ahead.”
“…These dice are weighted.”
“What?”
“What’d you get, Stark?”
“One.”
“Not only do you believe that Rocket needs the leg, you believe it is the single most important part of the plan. Without that leg, everything will fall to pieces.”
“Okay, fine, I’ll get the leg.”
“Perfect. Avengers, let’s get to work.”
“Removing the power cell will set off the alarm, so you believe you should start with–”
“I go remove the power cell.”
“…Bruce, that’s…not a good idea. Like I said, ripping that out will set off the alarm.”
“Right, exactly, sounds like fun. I go to rip it out.”
“But…but I spent all week coming up with persuasion and stealth scenarios for–-”
“This is what, a strength check?”
“…Yes Bruce, it’s a strength check.”
“I got a 20.”
“…You rip out the power cell with a single tug, setting off the alarm and alerting every single guard in the prison to your escape attempt. Roll for initiative, and remember that I hate all of you.”
I’m five foot nine. My hair is long and it’s dark brown. I wear leather a great deal, high boots always, and sometimes glove-soft vests and even leather skirts now and then, and I wear lace, especially when I can find the kind I like: intricate, very old-fashioned lace, snow white. I have light skin that tans easily, large breasts, and long legs. And though I don’t feel beautiful and never have, I know that I am. If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be a trainer at The Club.
–Exit to Eden by Anne Rice (aka Rampling), 1985
Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.
*”Rampling” was Rice’s pseudonym while she was writing erotica, mainly for this and the Sleeping Beauty quartet
i mean ….
lestat is on the my immortal train too lol
Anne Rice hates fanfiction! My Immortal is a satire of fanfiction about the fiction from an author who hates fanfiction. This makes everything even better.
This is just more evidence that you could teach a full semester course on My Immortal.
Add this to the ‘My Immortal was a troll all along’ evidence pile
I am absurdly, pettily happy that it’s Anne Rice getting slammed with the My Immortal comparisons.
(Is it me or does “My Immortal” sound very like the sort of title an Anne Rice book would have?)
Have we considered the possibility that Anne Rice actually wrote My Immortal?
:: squints ::
Y’know, the theory of Anne Rice having written My Immortal is nowhere NEAR as cracky as her last book was …
I didn’t know what the hell “My Immortal” was referring to for a long time and I just ASSUMED it was an Anne Rice novel by all the quotes I saw.
Anne Rice being the secret author of My Immortal is actually… not a bad theory? I mean, we know she HATES fanfiction, but also seeks it out (at least well enough to sue them) so she has some knowledge of fandom and probably of some of the styles/themes of the time. I could totally see her writing My Immortal in the dead of night, trying to wrap up every single thing she hates about fanfiction in one terribly-written package.
And she would never own up to it. EVER.
Alright guys spread the news: we’ve figured out who actually wrote my immortal. It was Anne rice.
Honestly, this makes just as much sense as any other theory that’s been proposed over the years
remember the Son of Neptune book where Hazel describe Percy and he was so RIDICULOUSLY powerful and beautiful and terrifying she thought he was god and my son is honestly so strong and must be a horrific enemy and a force to be feared
…but we forget because we know his inner dialogue is 50% “fuck fuck fuck AHHHHHHHHH well shit” and the other 50% is “I have no idea what’s going on but let’s just roll with it and hope I survive”
And honestly Percy Jackson is 10/10 the most relatable fake adult millennial to ever bluff his way through life. A true icon. The hero our generation deserves.
Ready Player One is based on a book published in 2011, friends. The article actually makes some interesting points about how our attitudes towards “geek culture” have evolved between the book’s publication and the movie’s release, especially given that Gamergate happened in that time.
what i do is not up to you 