alittlelessixteencandles:

here’s how the finale really went down:

• in his best man speech ted (finally) called barney his best friend, b/c you can have two best friends seriously, it’s very emotional
• the gang don’t know when they’ll get to hang out again so there’s lots of hugging and shit and they spout one liners about the importance of friendship and i cry a lot
• ted goes over to the girl with the yellow umbrella and the bass and that scene was mostly okay so it can stay EXCEPT
• the mother’s name should Matter right b/c why keep it a secret so long if it wouldn’t sooo her name is leia, like princess leia, and it’s a beautiful counterpoint to ted/stella and it makes sense they called their son luke but didn’t go the whole hog and call the girl leia if that’s the mother’s name — ted says “i’m ted” and she says “i’m…..leia [winces a little]. like the princess, i know.” and ted falls in love on the spot (shout out to kingslayerjaime i am accepting this as canon)
• barney and robin are in love forever and ever and they’d do anything for each other and yeah it’s hard w/ robin travelling all the time but they make it work, b/c home is wherever they’re together, and wherever the gang’s together
• although maybe they do settle down a bit eventually, but they absolutely refuse to live in the suburbs (ted and leia try to do a whole bit where they make the suburbs sound Super Cool but they’re both such giant nerds it has the opposite effect)
• lily definitely doesn’t have three kids, whoa, it’s hard enough juggling two kids w/ her emerging art career — she curates at an art gallery when they come back from rome, it’s pretty sweet, and eventually her own paintings start to sell
• marshall’s life is pretty sweet idk he doesn’t like corporate law but eventually he becomes a judge and stuff yeah marshall u can stay
• leia teaches ted what it really means to Love someone, and he realises that he was never really in love with robin, not how robin and barney were in love, but he loves leia with everything in him but in a healthy and happy way and she has to let go of max, too, and ted isn’t max but she’s starting to believe that maybe there is more than one person out there for everybody, and that maybe it;s okay to be happy — maybe she’s meant to be happy
• leia does die b/c there were a lot of hints leading to that and it’s super sad but ted is by her side all through treatment and he can’t deal with it at all, can’t accept that he’s spent so long waiting for her only for her to be taken from him, and leia tells him about max, the other love of her life, and ted learns that even though it hurts so so much he’s so lucky to have had leia at all, his soulmate, his other half, the girl who gets his stupid fucking jokes and drives out of her way to go to roadside attractions, and sometimes it’s hard b/c it’s hard to grow old together but they grow //together// and she sings him la vie en rose and he cries
• and when she’s dying leia takes ted’s hand and says “tell them how you met me. the long version. how robin and barney fell in love, b/c that’s where it really starts, right? tell them about my umbrella and about all the crazy stuff barney did. about marshall and lily growing up. tell them about the gang and how i somehow managed to needle my way in.” and ted starts crying (omg ted stop crying) and says, “you didn’t needle your way in, you were always part of the gang, we were just waiting for you. i was waiting for you.”
• and ted sits penny and luke down and says “kids, this is the story of how i met your mother.”
• and at the end luke and penny look at each other and luke says “what was that about the pineapple?” and ted says they never found out where it came from and penny says “weird, mom told us a story about a pineapple once —” (b/c you know leia is just as much of a storyteller as ted is)
• FLASHBACK THE NIGHT OF THE PINEAPPLE INCIDENT
• the mother was there
• she was the one that gave him the pineapple
• and that kids, is the story of how i met your mother