my grandma downloaded pokemon go this is so pure
Category: Uncategorized
old people: go outside!!!!!
millennials: *play pokemon go*
old people: not like that
Pokemon Go Teams Be Like
Team Mystic: [pushes up glasses] you have miscalculated and that is your grave mistake for I am the superior trainer you peasant here to educate you on the unpleasant truths of this world Mystic is clearly above you and only the naive couldn’t see that-
Team Instinct: hey pal lets just have a jolly good time please dont hurt me i work at walgreens
Team Valor: [muffled sound of ‘Gasolina’ playing in the distance] I HAVENT SLEPT IN FORTY HOURS I CANT FEEL MY LEGS AND I DROVE DIRECTLY INTO AN OLD NAVY FOR A SQUIRTLE
I was about ready to tease y’all for the Pokemon Go kumbaya shit but like within five minutes of leaving my house I was talking to a group of strangers also playing and I walked 4km
If you play, hell even if you don’t, REBLOG THIS
“I don’t define myself by the boys who may or may not like me.”
art by @jovaline
“how can you like deadpool but not the joker?”
because wade wilson is a good fucking person you useless sack of turnips
#IN A FILM OF PERFECT MOMENTS THE HAND FLEX™ STANDS ALONE #BEATIFIED; REVERED AMONGST ITS PEERS #NEVER BEFORE OR SINCE HAS A PIECE OF CINEMA BEEN SO PURE; SO HEART WRENCHING; SO OBSCENELY EROTIC #IM GONNA KILL MATTHEW MCFADYEN #THE WAY HIS THUMB GRAZES OVER HER KNUCKLES PUT ME IN THE MOTHERFUCKING BIN #and the way she looks at him like ‘did he just’ #and he looks back at her like ‘fuck. i did that…. we practically boned on the driveway’ #BUT HONESTLY THIS ONE MOMENT IS MORE SEXUALLY CHARGED THAN ANY SEX SCENE OR ANY ACTUAL SEX #and okay like people who hate this movie #(YES. THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO HATE CINEMATIC MASTERPIECE PRIDE AND PREJUDICE 2005) #say that it is a bad adaption of the book because it focuses on the sexual tension too much #and not the like ~repressed nature of lizzie and darcy’s witty repartee #BITCH #ARE YOU SEEING THIS? #DO YOU SEE THIS GIFSET? #IS HE NOT REPRESSED ENOUGH FOR YOU????? #HE SPENDS THE WHOLE MOVIE DISGUSTED THAT HE’S ACCIDENTALLY CAUGHT FEELINGS #HE THRIVES ON HAVING TOUCHED HER HAND TO HAND FOR LIKE A MONTH!?? #THEY GAZE AT EACH OTHER DURING CHURCH SERMONS #I’VE NEVER SEEN TWO PEOPLE SO REPRESSED IN MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE #look JANE AUSTEN HERSELF would SWOON watching this movie #she would skype that dude she got engaged to for one night and ask him to roleplay reenact this hand flex with her #kinkshame the austen (via apriki)
peruvian instant darkness powder
did you mean
throwing shade
We as a fandom should be ashamed it took so long for someone to say this.
Check Please HP AU
ALRIGHT, so I’ve been meaning to write this one for a while but I have accepted that it not going to happen in full-fic format. So, here, the old “this isn’t a fic but oh wait it’s turned into a bit of a fic” format (a petals classic):
So, the key of a CP HP AU is that, in general, you have to get everyone in the same House because that’s how the quidditch teams work. And a quick glance (I haven’t read them bc I try not to read aus im going to write for fear of transference) tells me that others have done Hufflepuff and Gryffindor but if you know anything about me, you know there is nothing I love more than dismantling the last vestiges of anti-Slytherin prejudice that still lingers in everyone’s subconscious. (*cough* Untamed *cough*)
Basically, I’m going to put everyone into Slytherin. Cuz I can. So here you go, you have:
Jack Zimmermann, son of Bad Bob Zimmermann, a quidditch legend. He played Beater for the Montrose Magpies and is known for creating and coining the term “Scoring Beater” due to his skill at using his beater’s bat not only to control the bludger, but to hit the quaffle through the posts at incredible distances. It starts out as a trick play but turned into a legitimate scoring strategy. Most importantly for our story, Bob Zimmermann was the Captain of the team for his final two years of Hogwarts, won the House Cup for 4/6 years he was on the team, and is generally regarded as one of the finest flyers ever to come out of Gryfindor.
Yes, Gryffindor. Bad Bob Zimmermann was a Gryffindor. In fact, all of the Zimmermanns in the history of Magic have been Gryffindors.
Until Jack Zimmermann. Already dealing with the pressure of dominating in quidditch little leagues, Jack Zimmermann came to Hogwarts and then in a moment that didn’t quite seem real, the Sorting Hat was put onto his head and screamed SLYTHERIN before it had even finished it’s downward descent. The Gryffinders started clapping before they realized what had happened. The Slytherins didn’t start clapping because they assumed there was some mistake. Some claimed that the Hat must just be a bit tired (it was the end of the alphabet after all) and it made a mistake. It is said that this might be the only time Headmaster McGonagall broke her calm exterior during a Sorting Ceremony and tried to put the hat back on a student’s head.
But, eventually (when the Hat just turned and huffed at McGonagall and the Slytherins finally started cheering), there was nothing left for Jack Zimmermann to do but walk over to the Slytherin side of the Great Hall and plop next to B. Knight, already wondering how on earth he was going to explain this to his parents. Even his mother, who was a Muggle, knew enough about Hogwarts to know that Slytherins were the worst.
Of course, in the weeks/months/years that follow, Jack Zimmermann realizes that he is, in fact, a Slytherin. Goal-oriented? Ambitious? He is all of those things. And, actually, he is a lot of things from the other Houses as well because, really, what person can be reduced to just three or four traits and isn’t it a bit ridiculous that eleven year olds are just sorted into Houses and then basically conditioned to view themselves in a certain light throughout their formative years and–
Well, wait. We’re getting into Shitty.
