Concept: Some jackass shows Bucky how to make a blog and it becomes really popular. Not because it’s the blog of James Buchanan Barnes, American Legend, War Hero, Infamous Assassin, Alleged Terrorist. Nobody even knows it’s his blog. It gets really popular because people think it’s a really great shitpost generator or something. Because Bucky is just a Weird Fucking Person and everything he posts on his fucking personal blog comes off as somewhere between dril and Jaden Smith and people are like “this is some quality garbage right here” and thus Accidental Memelord Bucky is born.
Bucky posts things like
“What is wrong with bananas. I ate a banana today and it was Wrong. America why”
“Every time I put on my eye makeup it gets bigger. My whole face is eyeliner now.”
“Why does friendship feel so much like punching”
“When I wake up in the middle of the night I am either thinking ‘who am I? does my life have meaning?’ or “did I already eat all of the plums?’”
“Why are you so grumpy” they ask me. they do not realize this is just my Face.”
“I know i said i would give my left arm for a cup of coffee but i am more awake now and i would like my arm back please”
“I guess I must have done something horrible in a past life. I mean. I definitely did something horrible in this life, so. “
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS PICTURING
With the casting of Zendaya as Mary-Jane Watson in the upcoming Spider-Man film, I’ve noticed some tension and controversy surrounding this topic, and I just want you all to know…
WE COMIN FOR ALL YOUR REDHEADS!
WE TOOK MARY JANE
WE TOOK IRIS WEST
WE TOOK WALLY WEST
WE TOOK JIMMY OLSEN
WE COMIN FOR JEAN GREY NEXT
WE’LL MAKE BLACK WIDOW A MUTHAFUCKIN BLACK WIDOW
out of all the aspects of millennial-bashing, i think the one that most confuses me is the “millennials all got trophies as a kid, so now they’re all self-centered narcissists” theory
like— kids are pretty smart, y’all. they can see that every kid on the team gets a trophy and is told they did a good job; they can also see that not every kid on the team deserves a trophy, and not everyone did do a good job
the logical conclusion to draw from this is not “i’m great and i deserve praise”— it’s “no matter how mediocre i am, people will still praise me to make me feel better, so i can’t trust any compliments or accolades i receive”
this is not a recipe for overconfidence and narcissism. it is a recipe for constant self-guessing, low self-esteem, and a distrust of one’s own abilities and skills.
where did this whole “ugh millennials think their so-so work is super great” thing even come from it is a goddamn mystery
what fucking kills me is, yeah, maybe we got the trophies, but who gave them out
this is not a recipe for overconfidence and narcissism. it is a recipe for constant self-guessing, low self-esteem, and a distrust of one’s own abilities and skills.
It’s also what I observed happening as a singing teacher: the older kids literally would not believe a positive word I said until I had proved I would tell them they screwed up/had done badly/etc. I did so in as useful a way as possible (“So this passage. We really need to work on this passage. A lot. This passage is not good yet.”), but with almost every adolescent I taught I had to prove I would give them straight-up criticism before they would parse my praise as anything other than meaningless “the grownups always do this” noise.
All of this. And then you feel like you’ll never be good enough to stand out and it fosters obsessive perfectionism that leads to procrastinating and giving up so you can get things done on time and then you’re never satisfied with anything and see everything you do as mediocre. Our generation is depressed from shallow compliments that don’t mean anything or lead to anything, it’s all empty.
shitty is protective of his friends and has a very strongly developed sense of right and wrong. he also has a tendency to be overbearing, and doesn’t always know where to stop.
I’m picturing shitty in the dean of students office approximately 35249875x a week.
ransom’s anxiety is hitting never-before-seen levels, and it might be helpful to have a quiz moved? shitty’s on it.
holster’s econ prof didn’t include religious observance in her list of excused absences, and yom kippur falls on a wednesday this year? shitty’s out the door before holster’s finished his sentence.
dex’s lab ta keeps misgendering him, even though he got his name changed in the samwell system? you guessed it. shitty’s waiting outside the dean of students office first thing the next morning, wildly lecturing the unsuspecting passersby on the importance of administrators being available to deal with students’ concerns.
wicks, on crutches after deciding to figure skate, despite being in hockey skates and lacking any physical grace, mentions that he had a hard time with the stairs outside one of the academic buildings? SHITTY IT’S FINE. NO IT’s nooooootttttt…shitty yells, volume quickly decreasing as he sprints toward lake quad.
I love this, but also:
The year after Shitty’s graduation, the dean of students feels guiltily relieved because that dude with the moustache won’t be hassling her on behalf of the men’s hockey team any more.
Then she walks out of her office to be faced with the wide, toothsome smile of Chris “Chowder” Chow, wearing a suspiciously familiar floral snapback with a Sharks badge pinned to it.
“Hello, Dean Winters, I need to talk to you about street harassment and the lacrosse team.”
