I spend a fair amount of time teaching women to kick men in the balls, and I’ve learned that this activity tends to generate controversy. Here, according to actual adults who have actually said these things to me, are some reasons you should not kick a guy in the balls:
1. It will make him angry.
I should hope so. I’m not sending him a friend request. If I kick him hard enough, there’s a good chance I’ll render him unable to act upon his anger. That’s my goal. His feelings are his problem.
2. It will make him hurt you worse.
Statistics say otherwise. And anyway, he’s already demonstrated his desire to hurt me. Why should I give him carte blanche to decide how much he’s going to hurt me? I’d rather be an active participant in that decision-making process.
3. Groin kicks aren’t really that devastating; I’ve seen lots of guys get hit in the balls and it hardly fazed them.
This response (almost universally from men) is so common I’ve come to think of it as “groinsplaining”—you can see it many of the YouTube comments in the videos linked above. These people rarely volunteer to demonstrate their own iron balls in a real kicking situation, but they confidently assert that men in general can shrug off all kinds of damage to the groin. All I can say is, I’ve seen two-year-olds take down grown men via the groin, and toddlers don’t even have any training. I do. I like my odds.
4. We shouldn’t be teaching people how to kick men in the balls; we should be teaching men not to do anything that would make us have to kick them in the balls.
Hey, that’s a great idea! Do you have a detailed, research-based plan for teaching all men everywhere to behave themselves all the time? And do you have funding for your efforts, and buy-in from politicians and community leaders, and a network of trained, experienced instructors who can effect this change? If not, better get started on your grant proposal. In the meantime, I’ll just be over here teaching people how to kick guys in the balls. That’s what I do.
5. Telling people they should kick an assailant in the balls is the same as telling victims who didn’t kick their assailant in the balls that they did something wrong.
No, it isn’t. It’s a practical way to reduce the number of future victims by giving them more viable options to disrupt and survive an assault.
Fact: We have the power to damage the bodies of men who try to hurt us. You’re saying we shouldn’t let people use that power. I’m offering people more choices; you’re trying to take them away.
6. Kicking a guy in the balls just makes the world a more violent place.
Maybe, in the short term. But if it stops him from killing someone, or putting them in the hospital, isn’t that a net win for non-violence? The Dalai Lama thinks so.
One in four women will have good reason to kick a guy in the balls at some point in her life. Luckily, it’s not rocket science. Anyone can do it! And ball-kicking’s efficacy is beyond dispute, as the men of MMA so nobly helped us illustrate here. Gentlemen, if any of you are reading this, and conscious: Cheers, and get well soon (the non-wife-beaters among you, anyway).
AIA REPORTING FOR DUTY
okay, so!
There is a trick to it. You do NOT want to soccer kick the dude because that’s a little projectile aiming at a littler target.
It’ll do in a pinch, and it’ll hurt, but it won’t incapacitate, which is what you want. You don’t want “ouch!” Or even “FUCK!”
You want him puking on the floor, and this is how we do:
There’s two ranges where a groin kick works: close and mid-range.
Say someone grabs you face to face, or pins you to the wall, and your hands are blocked. Now you’re close-range. What do you do? You come in closer, as close as you can, and with every ounce of adrenaline and aggression in your body, you do a can-can kick.
You know the first step in the can-can, where you raise your knee up as high as it’ll go as strong as you can?
Do that, as hard as you can, repeatedly.
If that doesn’t work, here’s the alternative. You’re going to take your hand, grasp between the thighs underhand. Its going to feel like you’re “cradling” the testicles. Dig your fingertips into the fragile skin BEHIND the scrotum. Then, once you have a good grip, you turn your hand into a vise, with your fingers digging inwards to the material. If you do it right, you should feel the testes INSIDE the scrotum. You want, whenever possible, to hook your fingers under them.
Then, with your hands in a claw and your fingertips latched behind the testes, you turn your hand sharply, as though you were turning a doorknob. Simultaneously, haul your elbow back and up as hard as you can.
If done properly, this technique can tear the scrotal tissue, and done with enough force, can tear the testes out of your attacker’s body.
No matter HOW pissed he is, he’s gonna drop. I’ve tried this technique on guys wearing cups and even with protection, it is not a fun feeling.
If you’re mid-range and have enough room for a kick, the goal becomes to use your shin. The shin is actually called the tibia, which ounce for ounce is one of the strongest bones in your body. So, here’s what you do, my little bloodthirsty beaus:
You aim, you scream “DO NOT COME CLOSER I SAID NO!” (legal purposes, because now you’re officially exercising your right to self-defence). Maintain a 360 degree awareness, just in case he has friends, and then, when he’s close enough, connect your shin full on soccer kick with the delicate squish of his testicles.
What you want is as much upwards force as possible in combination with as much momentum as you can manage. When he collapses, which he will, then stomp on his groin again, and then run.
The latter has less of a trick to it. It’s primarily about momentum and force.
Remember, if you’re close enough to put your hands on him, use your knee. If he’s coming at you, use your shin.
If you can smell the nachos he had for dinner, rip his fucking balls off.
It’s easy to do, they’re tiny little squishiness wrapped in a delicate flap of skin about as thin as a toenail.
Remember: if he’s coming at you, he’s ALREADY out to hurt you. Might as well give the fucker a reason to be pissed.
Someone once told me that the way to train a proper knee in the groin (with appropriate aggression if you want to hurt him enough to let you go is to train and act as if you’re not aiming your knee at the groin, but aiming for somewhere much higher so that your mind knows to really ram your knee upward.
A male friend of a friend of the family once generously and kindly advised me that if anyone with nuts ever got up on me without me wanting him to do so, to “grab his balls as hard as you can, squeeze, and yank away from his body until they feel like marmalade. Then run.”
I have never forgotten this advice.
My self-defense trainer used to say: “Eyes are like grapes. Ears are like pull tabs. And if you’re going to grab some, girls – grab, pull, twist, and bring those balls home to mama.”
…I really need to embroider that on a cushion.
Reblogging for my women followers. Know how to protect yourself, okay?
Fun fact: we did a groin attack drill in krav recently, and one of the guys’ cup was secured improperly. When he got kneed he made a noise like someone dropped a bag of rotten tomatoes from a third floor balcony, and hit the ground retching.
A few of the guys snickered and called him a wimp, so our instructor decided EVERYONE was going to do the drill with no cup to see how little force it took to incapacitate an opponent.
I was paired with a friend of mine who looks like if the Rock and the Mountain Who Rides made a little Boulder Love Baby. I apologized in advance, he said he was ready, and I flicked him in the nuts.
Flicked.
Not hit. Not tap. Not punched. Flicked. The same amount of force I’d use to maybe kill a mosquito, using the blade of my hand.
He went the colour of cement and nearly threw up on my shoulder.
It takes MINIMAL force to fuck a guy up. Now, if you’re grabbed from behind, snap your head back into his face and while he’s distracted you can either make a fist and strike back at the groin (arch your hips to the side for more room) or karate chop from the elbow.
He’s gonna be pissed–but he’s gonna be puking first, and that’s your opportunity to kick him in the kidney and run like the wind.
Mother Nature put mens balls on the outside as as a woman I will 100% use that to my advantage in a fight.
self-defense
I always reccomend using it as a one two punch. Groin strike, the go for the eyes, throat, twist/break fingers, or the opposite. Go for face/finger breaking/twisting, then groin, maybe even hit them in the groin twice, really devastate.
A lot of dudes will go down from groin strikes. But some might be on drugs, drunk, just incredibly hopped up on adrenaline/anger. So dont RELY on one groin strike. In self defense never rely on any ONE strike. Unless you been training martial arts for years. Always go for 2-3 good hits, and run.
People need to stop reblogging this without the rest of the comic :^)
Part 1: Aang has a negative reaction to people who mistakenly hurt his feelings but had good intentions.
Part 2: Aang calms down and acknowledges that those people’s intentions were good and instead of being upset offers to educate and inform those people and SHARES his culture.
Good message there.
fucking THANK YOU. intentions make up 100% of the line between true admiration and cultural appropriation.
high school musical 2s “I dont dance” is a metaphor for homosexuality/bisexuality and here’s why:
in the song, dancing (stereotypically associated with women and gay men) represents same-gender attraction and the more “masculine” sport, baseball, represents heterosexuality. Ryan tells chad “I’ll show you that it’s one and the same” – that being gay is as valid as being straight, and that it is nothing to be ashamed of. ryan is clearly proud of being able to dance
Ryan encourages chad to “swing like him”, bearing in mind ryan is strongly implied to be gay and the word swing is often used with regards to sexuality, ie “I don’t swing that way”
Chad displays a stereotypical masculine bravado, he is clearly trying to impress Ryan, he tells him “I’ve got what it takes… so you better spin that pitch you’re gonna throw me”, while reasserting his definite heterosexuality, he adds “I’ll show you how I swing”
Chad also implies that he experiences gay feelings but represses them. When ryan tells him “You’ll never know if you never try”, chad replies “there’s just one thing that stops me every time”. this shows his fear of social rejection and his own internalised homophobia
as the song progresses this becomes more obvious, chad goes from saying he “doesn’t” dance to saying he “can’t” even though it is clear that he is actually a good dancer while also being skilled at baseball
from this we can guess that chad is bisexual and that ryan is either bisexual or gay, though we can assume his preference lies with men at this point
on top of this there is the obvious underlying sexual tension running throughout the song. they switch between confrontational and flirty; there’s a lot of smiling and eyebrow waggling going on, and when they do dance they get all up in each others personal space
the song ends with ryan falling on top of chad. in the following scene, they are wearing each other’s clothes
Also when it cuts to this shot of them wearing each other’s clothes, Chad is all giggly with him suddenly and he goes “you call that a little game?” like yall. They done did it.
i had a dream about fucking… vampire discourse on tumblr like;
“reminder that blood sucker is a slur”
“vamp-born-vamps are valid if u got bitten later in life you’re not part of the vamp community”
“support vamps who drink human blood, support vamps who drink animal blood, support vamps who drink animal and human blood”
“half bloods who are human presenting don’t belong in the community”
fantasy tumblr would be fucking insufferable
god can you even imagine
“If you only have two legs you’re human-passing and don’t belong in the fantasy community”
“What about satyrs?’
“You can wear shoes”
“Just a reminder that if you appropriate mermaid culture you’re a piece of shit”
“Actually we don’t mind because a lot of our culture comes from humans”
“Shapeshifters aren’t valid because they can be human if they want”
Oh my god it gets worse and worse
Listen Sweaty 🙂 🙂 🙂 Bigfoots and Jersey Devils aren’t REAL mythfolk 🙂 🙂 You r just confuused humans :)))
stop fetishizing incubi
stop fetishizing incubi
stop fetishizing incubi
stop fetishizing incubi
stop fetishizing incubi
stop fetishizing incubi
ONLY
👏FAIRIES
👏CAN
👏MAKE
👏FAIRY
👏RINGS
Why the FUCK did no one tag me in this
Werewolves are still werewolves no matter what form they’re in. We don’t stop being werewolves when we’re in human form, we don’t stop being werewolves when we’re in wolf form. Stop werewolf erasure!
Listen, I’ve been in a committed relationship with a selkie for over ten years. I can tell you that whole hiding-the-pelt-thing is total bullshit. If he wanted to leave he could, I am not holding him hostage. Please, stop spreading this hurtful misinformation.
friendly reminder that telling a fairy you don’t believe in them will not actually kill them but is a genuinely shitty thing to do and you should probably stop 🙂
Guys, real talk.
Dragon hoards are an expression of dragon culture, okay?
They symbolize the personal achievements of that particular dragon, beginning when they settle into their own lair. It’s a rite of passage symbolizing that the dragon has come of age!
Unless you are a dragon yourself, you can’t just call your “fairy dust collection” your “hoard”. It’s your collection.
Seriously, stop appropriating dragon culture. It’s not that hard.
z*mbie is a slur, please don’t use it unless you’re undead yourself and reclaiming the term!!
“you suck” is offensive vampirist language and if you keep using it i will personally find you and drain you dry ~uwu~
If you’re not a crone, DO NOT carry gnarled sticks and wear rags. Cronewear isn’t a fashion statement, it’s an important part of our magic and identity! If you want to support crones and nod to our style you can do so by wandering deep into the woods at night, finding an independent crone and paying for an amulet with your darkest secrets.
lol @ these losers who think they can’t see unicorns because they’ve had sex. plenty of non-virgins can see us. we’re avoiding you because you’re an asshole.
Humans start out at birth with milk white blood. The more crimes they commit, the darker their blood becomes. One day, you meet your soulmate. Skip a few years, and things are amazing… Until your soulmate trips, falls, and exposes black blood…
