i-will-not-be-caged:

ramblingferret:

teroknortailor:

sci-fantasy:

fiftysevenacademics:

crystalandrock:

gertrudefrankenstein:

Millennial Sisyphus keeps entering all the information from his resume into the web form, only for it to delete everything when he tries to move to the next page. He just goes back and types it all up again, over and over again, forever, and he never gets a job.

Millennial Tantalus has been promised that his unpaid internship will become a paid position as soon as the company has space for him. Every week he sees their new job posting. Every week he asks his boss if he can have a real job. The boss shrugs apologetically and says he’ll just have to make do with being paid in experience a little longer. He goes back and keeps working, over and over again, forever, and he never reaches the fruits of his labors.

Millennial Persephone can’t get a job without a degree, but because she had to take out loans to pay for college, she must spend 1/3 of her life working just to pay them off.

Millennial Cassandra’s title is Social Media Coordinator, she was hired to be the expert, but every time she tries to explain the problems in her company’s social media decisionmaking, the managers don’t listen…and end up hiring expensive PR flacks to repair the damage to their reputation when things blow up exactly as she predicted.

Millennial Medusa uses multiple shades of primer and opaque foundation to cover the scars snaking across her face, hiding the bruises, aligning the asymmetry in her broken nose and jaw. Red matte on the lips, green shimmer on the lids. Flawless liner on the first try. She’s had lots and lots of practice. She films her transformation in secret for all to see and learn, and again, men are turned to anonymous stone faces screaming in horror. “Liar!” “Witch!” “Take her swimming on the first date!” These words do not discourage her. These words are a challenge. GlamGorgonXx posts another video.

Millennial Prometheus uploads another PDF to his site. He’s lost track of the printing and edition of this textbook. He knows they just rearranged some of chapters then charge 150 dollars per copy, and the professor wrote the book himself. the ZIP fills uploads successfully, and he starts uploading the next one. He isn’t afraid of the potential lawsuit. knowledge shouldn’t held out of reach like this. 

Millennial Circe screenshots all the lewd messages she gets from men on online dating sites and posts them on her very popular Instagram along with their pictures and usernames. When people accuse her of attempting to destroy their reputations, she insists she’s just revealing them for the pigs they truly are.

unpretty:

i feel like wonder woman could get away with throwing batman over her shoulder to carry him away exactly once, just because she would have the element of surprise. batman prepares for everything but there are limits. if you were batman would you ever in a million years expect a woman who is two inches shorter than you in one-inch heels to just pick you up and leave like she’s carrying a bag of sand to build a wall. like you are the victim of a cartoon caveman from the fifties. i postulate that you would not. maybe in her arms like a lumberjack’s bride, but a fireman’s carry? while he is not only conscious, but entirely capable of moving under his own power? this is the one scenario that batman never prepared for and he suffers the consequences. she could never get away with it again and so she doesn’t even try but from that moment on the possibility is always in the back of his mind. he is on alert. he wants her to try again so he can prove it won’t work this time. she never gives him the satisfaction. he can never explain to anyone how he is suffering. no one will understand. he stands on a rooftop in the rain and broods.

batmanisagatewaydrug:

batmanisagatewaydrug:

batmanisagatewaydrug:

batmanisagatewaydrug:

batmanisagatewaydrug:

batmanisagatewaydrug:

batmanisagatewaydrug:

batmanisagatewaydrug:

I don’t understand why High School Musical 4 is going to get an entire new cast when all they had to do was set it at Chad and Ryan’s wedding

Sharpay – mellowed out some with age, still struggling to make it big, chronically single – insists she’s happy for Ryan but quickly devolves into her obligatory show-stopper about how she’s sick of waiting to meet someone who’s right for her. (Mostly the song entails Sharpay singing her ridiculously long laundry list of requirements while trying on bedazzled wedding dresses.)

There’s a running gag that Troy is supersupersuper late for the wedding. We may or may not ever actually see him, since Zac Efron didn’t even come to the damn ten year reunion and is apparently a huge party pooper. What we do see is Gabriella on the phone with him every fifteen minutes or so, urging him to hurry up. Eventually she decides that he’s obviously stuck in traffic because he doesn’t care about their friends enough and wonders if she should break up with him. Cue the obligatory once-a-movie Gabriella Is Sad song.

Taylor and Chad are SUPER amicable exes and she’s organizing the entire wedding with an iron fist. Chad and Ryan didn’t have to do anything. Kelsey is on piano. Zeke is baking their cake, obvs.

Troy is SUPPOSED TO BE Chad’s best man, but again, he’s supersupersuper late. At one point while Gabriella’s on the phone with him, Chad runs up behind her and yells “DUDE. GETCHA HEAD IN THE GAME” into the phone.

Sharpay elbows someone in the face to catch the bouquet when it gets thrown. Like, violently. It’s played for laughs, of course, but we all know that Kelsey/Jason/whoever should probably be in the hospital.

Assuming they can lock down Zefron, the movie will inevitably end up being about them. Troy proposed during the damn reception. Gabriella cries. Taylor and Kelsey are screaming. Sharpay is immediately trying to become Gabriella’s best friend and call dibs on being her maid of honor. Ryan looks affronted at this hijacking but nobody notices. 

tHE FUCKING WEDDING COLORS ARE WHITE AND RED JUST SO CHAD CAN SCREAM “WILDCATS” AS SOON AS HE’S DONE BEING PRONOUNCED RYAN’S LAWFULLY WEDDED HUSBAND 

Sharpay and Zeke reconnect after that moment at the of HSM1 where they were a thing for like 10 seconds. Sharpay Learns a Valuable Lesson about how maybe you don’t need a guy who’s perfectly perfect in every way when you’ve got once who’s a total sweetheart and can bake like a mofo.

Ryan brings some girl he knows from Broadway who’s like his best dancer or something. She spends the entire wedding flirting with Kelsey and making her all flustered. Everyone is trying to get them together.

It ends with an elaborate musical number at the reception. Possibly there’s a self-aware joke about how Ryan emailed everyone the choreography for it months ago, so they all better know it by now. It probably turns into a reprise of We’re All In This Together and then I cry into my popcorn for 6 hours

~the end~

HOW DOES THIS HAVE SO MANY NOTES ARE Y’ALL SERIOUS