An elf maiden dances on feet of living wood sung into shape, planted in soil and watered when she takes them off. Every year she plants the old ones and sings a new pair. (Incidentally, the pair of peach saplings from three years ago have produced an excellent crop- She makes preserves from them, and despite the inevitable jokes about “toe-jam”, they are appreciated.)
A dwarf king has a metal fist, all tiny gears and fine wires, kept wound by a mischievous mine-spirit bound to the spring as punishment- the more it struggles, the tighter the spring.
An orc chieftaness is regularly asked for the story of how she earned the name Wyrmthrottler- she boasts of how she strangled the dragon that ate her arm, and had her shaman make a new arm from its bones, with its fangs as the fingers.
A necromancer simply re-attached his old leg bones- Sacrificing a few mice each day keeps it going.
A pirate captain lost her arm to a shark attack: a passing selkie saved her, and gave her tattoos of kraken blood. Now she has an arm made of salt-water, that grows and wanes with the tides, and swings a cutlass as well as the original. (She doesn’t sail as far these days though: she doesn’t want her wife to worry.)
A wandering swordsman was broken at the waist- his ancestral armour allows him to walk again, as long as he keeps it polished, and burns incense to the ancestors regularly.
A high priestess has an eye made from a crystal ball- to predict the future, all she has to do is wink.
A bard was struck deaf by illness- he struck a deal with the god of music. Now he wears hearing-trumpets made from his old pipes, and dedicates his every song to the god of music- the better he plays, the better his hearing. (It is said his music could make statues weep, and he can hear a mouse fart at 60 paces.)
A princess has the arm of a golem, enchanted clay with mystic words carved in- her music tutor despairs of how her harp playing has become even worse, but her calligraphy tutor is ecstatic over her handwriting.
A goblin pickpocket has an arm made of whatever he steals- no-one feels his fingers, and even if they did, they couldn’t find their possessions amongst all the rest.
A witch has eyes made from shadow and starlight, given to her in a game with a demon. Nobody dares to ask what she wagered- they aren’t even sure she won.
A warg was born deaf and blind- his people learned of his power when the nearest birds started staring at them, and dogs pricked up their ears as he walked past.
Alexander Hamilton: It’s ye home boi Alex
Aaron Burr, Sir: Two college men walk into a bar with three drunkards, and-
My Shot: Do you ever just want to overthrow a government (Featuring Alexander having an existential crisis)
The Story Of Tonight: Painful foreshadowing coming from Laurens
The Schuyler Sisters: its ye home gals angellica eliza AND PEGGY
Farmers Refuted: It’s Time For Alexander’s Opinion
You’ll Be Back: I cannot fucking believe King George III is a yandere
Right Hand Man: Burr needs to call the rejection hotline
A Winters Ball: RELIABLE WITH THE *LADIES*
Helpless: Ye gal Eliza falls for ye boi Alex
Satisfied: Angelica has emotional issues and I want to help her
The Story Of Tonight Reprise: SPIT A VERSE, BURR
Wait For It: Burr spits a verse (Sort of)
Stay Alive: Charles Lee shows up and Laurens is like “We should shoot that guy”
Ten Duel Commandments: Laurens shoots that guy
Meet Me Inside: Alexander gets grounded
That Would Be Enough: HEARTBREAK.
Guns and Ships: L A F A Y E T T E
History Has It’s Eyes On You: Don’t fuck up because history is always watching
Yorktown: Alexander and Lafayette overthrow a government
What Comes Next?: King George is still a yandere but now he’s a Bitter Yandere
Dear Theodosia: THE DAD SONG
Non-Stop: Burr wonders why and how Alexander does things
What’d I Miss: Jeffy boi is done getting high in France and now he’s back to get high in America
Cabinet Battle #1: Political debate turns into a rap battle
Take A Break: Alexander says “No” 500000 times
Say No To This: Alexander forgets how to say “No” 500000 times
The Room Where It Happens: Burr needs to call the rejection hotline again
Schuyler Defeated: Alexander throws away Burr’s friendship bracelet
Cabinet Battle #2: you must be out oF YOUR GODDAMN MIND-
Washington On Your Side: MOTHERFUCKING SOUTHERN DEMOCRATIC REPUBLICANS
One Last Time: Washington is resigning and Alexander has abandonment issues
I Know Him: JESUS CHRIST THIS WILL BE FUN!!!~
The Adams Administration: Hamilton fucking obliterates John Adams
We Know: Jefferson, Burr, and Madison become the TMZ of the 1700-1800s
Hurricane: Alexander decides to #expose himself
The Reynolds Pamphlet: Alexander probably regrets deciding to #expose himself
Burn: ELIZA DESERVES BETTER THAN THIS
Blow Us All Away: Alexander encourages his son to get in a gun fight and is shocked when he gets shot
Stay Alive Reprise: CRUSHING DEPRESSION
It’s Quiet Uptown: EVEN MORE CRUSHING DEPRESSION
The Election of 1800: Jefferson is tired of drama and he just wants politics
Your Obedient Servant: “Fucking fight me, Alex.” ~Burr
Best of Wives and Best of Women: WOW EVEN MORE CRUSHING DEPRESSION
The World Was Wide Enough: “Talk shit get hit.” ~Burr
Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story: I’M CRYING OVER A FOUNDING FATHER.
I’ve never heard a single Muslim complain about Christmas, but I’ve heard dozens of Christians complain about Muslims (allegedly) complaining about Christmas.
Daddy took me to see Moana last night! 😍🙈🙊😻 it was amazing and he’s the best daddy ever
Keep your kink out of the Moana tag, thanks.
How about you go fuck yourself I didn’t ask for your opinion or impute so go do whatever the fuck you do somewhere the fuck else we didn’t go see this movie for the fact we are ddlg or kink related we went because I wanted to see the fucking movie I’m the daddy btw a 22 year old guy who fucking likes movies if they are good so go fuck your self because I’m planning on watching it again and guess what you can’t fucking stop me so you need to grow the fuck up this isn’t even inappropriate your just looking to start shit so move the fuck along you piece of fucking shit and guess what I carry a fucking pistol on me to guess you have a problem about that to so just go to your safe zone where you can play big and bad like you have any fucking clue how this world works and quit trying to tell someone how to live their life if you got a problem you can come find me my name is loveless bitch
Magnus hadn’t meant to speak. The words
had just fallen out of his mouth without him being able to stop them.
The second he saw his lover start to stir, he regretted the words only
because they were rousing Alec from sleep he probably desperately
needed. The Nephilim had been sleeping most of the evening, letting the
worries of the day – week – year fade away in the safe embrace of his
dreams. Magnus had busied himself with clients, potion brewing, even
making tea just because he could before he had finally retreated to the
bedroom.
He’d been reading Shakespeare’s Macbeth for
probably the 400th time when his mind had started to wander, and he
found himself staring down at his boyfriend. Alec laid facedown, naked
from the waist up, his hair tussled from the restlessness of sleep, and
Magnus just couldn’t help but think, How did I get so lucky?
I know it’s Christmas Eve but tonight is also the first night of Hanukkah tonight so I want to wish you all a very happy Hanukkah!!! No matter what you celebrate this weekend, I hope you all have a lovely holiday with your loved ones ♥ ♥ ♥
