Weirdly anti-millennial articles have scraped the bottom of the barrel so hard that they are now two feet down into the topsoil
its so wild like “this generation with no fucking money is learning to prioritize essentials” and all these chucklefucks can write is advertisements for these companies
at least our jeans won’t tear at the seams after two washes
FUCK FABRIC SOFTENER IT’S UTTERLY POINTLESS
AND FUCK DRYER SHEETS LITERALLY NOBODY EVER HAS ENOUGH OF A PROBLEM WITH STATIC TO WARRANT PAYING OUT THE ASS FOR THAT SHIT
DO YOU WANT CLEAN CLOTHES? YOU DON’T EVEN NEED TO BUY FUCKING DETERGENT JUST MAKE YOUR OWN* IT’S SO GODDAMN EASY AND 80X CHEAPER
FUCK THE ENTIRE LAUNDRY INDUSTRY
*Fuck The Entire Laundry Industry Recipe
1 cup Washing Soda (not Baking Soda. Different things.)
1 cup Borax (not Boric Acid. Also a different thing.)
½ cup – 1 cup grated bar soap (you can use literally anything. I often use Ivory because it’s easy to get and I find it works well, a lot of people like Fels-Naptha, which is an actual laundry bar. Some people use Dr. Bronner’s. Really does not fucking matter.)
After grating your soap, combine all ingredients. That’s it. That’s the whole thing. Use maybe a ¼ cup per load.
^^^ I’ve done this for years now and it works as well as any store bought detergent
WHAT Thank you, tumblr user awfullydull! Your URL does no justice to the good advice you give!
Also you can MAKE your own washing soda very VERY cheaply.
Step one: acquire $5 bag of baking soda from Costco.
Step two: lay that motherfucking baking soda out on a baking tray.
Step three: bake the baking soda on a tray in an oven at 400° for 1 hour (to make the moisture evaporate, leaving washing soda)
Step four: revel in how easy and cheap it is to make your own washing soda, and maybe take a moment to be angry that the industry upcharges the fuck out of something that is so easy to make.
I see some of y’all complaining about static and/or wanting nice smelling laundry. Go to a craft store, find 100% wool yarn balls. If it doesn’t come in a ball, ask an employee to make it into a tight ball for you. Wash in the washing machine to make it felted. Remove from washer, add a few drops of essential oil to the ball, allow to seep in. Dry with clothing. Doesn’t need to be rewashed ever, and if it stops smelling, add few more drops of essential oil. Bam, reusable dryer sheets.
no matter where you go, there’s always that one girl who carries the entire drug store in her purse. headache? she has you covered with an advil. unexpected visitor from aunt flow? “what do you need girl? regulars or supers?” feeling like your blood sugar is low? *whips out some chocolate* hair tie just broke? she has 5 extra ones on her wrist.
not all heroes wear capes. sometimes they just carry a giant purse around.
if anyone ever tells you that english isn’t ridiculous remember that the reason why we have a silent b in debt is because a group of guys got together to standardise english spelling and got to the word debt, which at the time was primarily spelled either ‘dett’ or ‘det’. so they basically went:
‘everyone speaks latin, right? so let’s put a silent b in debt. like debitum, which is latin for debt. problem solved.’
also the reason why there is a h in ghost is because when the printing press first came to england the only people trained to operate it were flemmish speaking, and they put a h after g because that’s what you do in flemmish. they put shit like ghirl and ghoose, but the only reason why ghost stuck is because people saw ‘the holy ghost’ in the bible and were like ‘well, that MUST be right’.
so yeah english is a really stupid language with some of the most ridiculous spelling
Anyone telling you that English isn’t a bullshit Frankenstein language is lying.
English is just made up of stolen words from other languages from when the British sailed around and fucked everything up
I find this interesting because English is my second language but my first language is Afrikaans which is also just a language made up from stolen words from German, Dutch, and like ten other languages, I technically only speak in weird frankenstein languages
quick protip: if someone is crying or freaking out over something minor, eg wifi not connecting, can’t find their hat, people talking too loud, do NOT tell them how small or petty the problem is to make it better. they know. they would probably love to calm down. you are doing the furthest possible thing from helping. people don’t have to earn expressions of feelings.
I’m just gonna put it out there that if someone’s freaking about something small, they’re really freaking out about something big that they’re trying to deal with, or something long term that’s been building up, and that little thing is the straw that broke the camel’s back.
I don’t know, try and give people the benefit of the doubt. Don’t be the next straw on their broken back.
Needed this today.
People don’t actually go from 0 to 60. If you think they did, you have failed to notice how long they’ve been at 59.
Let’s talk about Luke adopting a werwolf girl, a mundane boy who later became a vampire and a shadowhunter girl who thought she was a mundane, and that he told little Clary he will always love her, and tought Simon to shave and told Maia who was all alone, that he’ll be there for her and how much Luke deserves a medal for being the best parent in the shadow world.
Let’s talk about Luke, who cares so damn much and let’s talk about his adopted children loving him back. Let’s talk about the fact that a shadowhunter, a werewolf and a vampire see him as the closest thing to a father they ever had.
Let’s talk about Luke who doesn’t care what species they are from, he just sees children who need him and is there for them.
my favourite thing about big eden is that there are a bunch of critics on the rotten tomatoes page going ‘totally unrealistic and corny, no village in rural Montana is this accepting, thumbs down’ and then a bunch of gay commenters going ‘totally unrealistic and corny, no village in rural Montana is this accepting, I loved it’
like we need nice sweet romantic films so badly even sixteen years later, especially ones that aren’t shoved up their own arse. I just want to watch guys fall in love without having to think about the fucking Berlin wall
Exactly – I have a policy called “no dead lesbians” which is p much as it sounds, and is great, but it does lead to me having to cut out the vast majority of ‘classics’. (seriously – nearly every ‘good’ classic ends up with thwarted love or suicide or just death by angst. Maurice is the only exception I can think of off the top of my head, and that starts v slow.) Instead you end up with some truly awful, cheesy romcoms. Like, bad. Like, I grew up watching corny kollywood and they’d reject them bad. And tbh – I like the crap better. I’d much rather roll my eyes at a cheesy movie than have to sit through another ‘she died of mysterious angstygaycharacteritis fornoreasonosoma’ show.
Anyway, we should make a subsection list of ‘no dead lesbians’ called ‘gay people don’t want to think about the ozone layer’ – where not only do the gay characters not die for no reason, they also don’t spend their time having to worry overly about societal homophobia. While it’s realistic, we don’t need to be told, so I’m thinking a list of media that’s either entirely a gay bubble or like Big Eden, where for some reason it’s a universe where everyone is chill. Add your own:
Girltrash! All Night Long: this is basically like Superbad but with lesbians. It’s trash. I’m sorry. (I’m not sorry.)
Imagine Me and You: rom commiest of rom coms. Lena Headey is in it. It’s cute.
Bar Girls: “finally..a romantic comedy without men”. Bit slice-of-lifey, but I’m including it cos wlw never get romcoms that don’t go on about conversion therapy or how much angst there is out there.
The Joe Keenan ‘Blue Heaven’ trilogy: these are actually books but I wanted to include them. imagine if Jeeves and Wooster were gay but actually Wooster was two incredibly lazy screenwriters who try and make a quick buck and pull off some sort of crime caper, but it all goes hilariously wrong and at one point the mafia gets involved, and also there’s an ongoing pisstake of Hollywood going on. Now you see why I wanted to include it.
Is it just me?: someone got me to watch this movie and I haven’t forgiven them for it. It’s so cheesy, just so, so, so cheesy. I actually can’t remember it because I rolled my eyes a lot but basically a gay cowboy and a liberal writer fall in love online, then they meet up, but oh no! there’s been a case of mistaken identity, clearly the sensible thing to do is not to come clean but continue the hilarious subterfuge.
The 10 year plan: ‘haha, these good friends who have totally different personalities make a pact that if they aren’t married in ten years, they’ll date, GUESS WHAT HAPPENS I’m so shocked’. But with two dudes.
eCupid: this is by the same director who did ‘Is it just me’ and ‘the 10 year plan’. It’s about the same level of cheese, but with ~how technology can affect your relationship~, this time. How topical.
I guess Please Like Me is a good example of a sitcom that doesn’t go “woe is me, I have realised I am gay, my life must be angsting about homophobia”, but there is some heavy subject matter cos it’s more slice-of-life.
(will probably make this into a proper post that can be added to later but rn I’m piggybacking on this one soz)
Contrary to popular stereotypes associated with fanfiction, I have never written a sex scene, but I did once write a scene in which Voldemort went on a blind date with someone he met on the internet, but it turned out to be Harry Potter catfishing him, so I’m not sure what’s worse
I once wrote a story where Willy Wonka was the true villain behind the dementor attacks because he knew that would increase chocolate sales
So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.]
Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them.
THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)
They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE.
They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go.
So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons.
“If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job.
They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck.
They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them.
“Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question.
BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY.
And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.
