all Bucky wanted to do was get some more tea and now this. Thanks a lot, Sam. You had to fuckin’ tell him, you ass.
Aggressively Progressive Steve Rogers is so what I’m here for.
STeve would unleash and be all “DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH WHOOPING COUGH SUCKS?! DO YOU?! DO YOU REALLY?! ARE YOU FUCKIN’ STUPID?! BUCKY, TELL THEM HOW I BROKE TWO RIBS! TELL THEM!”
Omg, new headcanon, Beleaguered Bucky Barnes being grabbed by the shoulders and practically lifted into camera view by Steve shouting about how Bucky needs to confirm some terrible illness because no one else is alive form that time to corroborate any of Steve’s claims. Bucky shyly telling the reporters that yes, Steve did indeed have that thing adn yeah it is dangerous and Steve jumping back into frame like “I told you! I TOLD YOU IT SUCKED SHUT UP JENNY MCCARTHY!”
“AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?! POLIO!”
“Steve you never had fucking polio-”
“YEA BUT IT STILL SUCKED! KNOW WHAT STOPPED IT?! VACCINES!”
“Oh my God, Steve.”
“I DIDN’T EVNENKNOW WHAT THAT SHOT WOULD DO TO ME BUT I TOOK IT!”
“Steve, that’s… That’s not really a good argument.”
“I DON’T CARE FOX NEWS NEEDS TO STOP USING MY IMAGE!”
“Steve, doll, calm down.”
“I VOTED FOR OBAMA!”
I love everything about this post
Captain America did have polio
AND
was developed as an advert for vaccinations! the message was simple, get the serum become a super hero, and who gave him his shield, FDR, who not only promoted the polio vaccination but remains the world’s most famous sufferer of it.
bucky who can’t quite seem to get over the fact he can pick up mjolnir even though it’s been a good three months since the first time he accidentally plucked it from the ground in avenger’s tower. the hammer itself always seems to be in the most random of places and bucky will walk over to it whenever the opportunity comes along and look around to make sure no one is watching before picking it up again as it expecting one day that he won’t be able to lift it again. except every time it comes off the ground without hesitation and he grins like an absolute idiot because it means more to him than it probably should just that mjolnir deems him worthy at all so that must mean there’s something good about him, right?
and of course tony eventually asks why thor leaves his hammer just sitting around the place and thor simply smiles and says, “because it helps where i cannot.”
what if this just??? crushed my heart and i DIED????????
also i want everyone else to show up on his show too but in like. very random capacities
like maybe the show is filmed in his apartment (jack’s apartment lol??? im cryign) and so like, lardo just pops in & is like “whoops sorry” & ducks out of frame & is gone for several minutes (there’s one incredibly loud BANG! in the background and then utter silence for ~30 seconds) so bitty tries to go on with the show & then lardo comes back in dragging this massive block of solid metal across the floor & bitty and everyone in the crew just. watches her do this silently for an unbelievably long amount of time (one of the techs eventually helps her carry it out)
shitty just sitting at bitty’s counter eating food as it is prepared, bitty occasionally smacking his hand away (he’s baked off his ass & just sitting silently & eating; occasionally spouts some tidbits of feminist theory or history or whatever)
and jack. oh god. jack, after he comes out & is open abt his relationship w/ bitty, appearing on the show in a purely domestic capacity, walking through the kitchen on his way to go for a run, dropping a kiss on bitty’s head, stealing bites of food (stealing kisses when bitty turns to reprimand him)
and then maybe there’s a thanksgiving special or smth & the whole samwell team comes over, all of the members from all four years of bitty’s samwell career, as well as the falconers, and george, and jack’s family and bitty’s family, everyone in jack’s massive apartment around a huge table eating bitty’s food & being happy and mE, ON THE FLOOR, SOBBING FOREVER,
People will always be critical, they’ll make the personal political, they’ll try to knock you off your pedestal, your pinnacle, let other people be cynical, let it go
And a million years ago she said to me ‘this one’s mine’…so I stood by, do you know why? I love my sister more than anything in this life, I will choose her happiness over mine everytime
You don’t have to bring a gun to a knife fight
We bleed and fight for you; sometimes it seems that’s all we do
My last thought is of Eliza; maybe I can get back home before she opens her eyes. They put us through our paces, we count to ten, God, I can’t wait to see her again
But upstate you’re the rascal who trades away the capital- the asshole who taxes the a-a-alcohol
PAY YOUR FUCKING TAXES
-Philip never hurt a soul, he must have been so scared. -Eliza is the best thing in our lives, so never lose sight of the fact that you have been blessed with the best wife. -And like a flame that flickered out too soon, she died… she’s gone. -The man’s irrational, he claims that I’m in league with Britain in some vast international intrigue. BITCH PLEASE! -No. You know what? I don’t like your tone.
what i do is not up to you 