gladiolus—amicitia:

almostawinchester:

freaksandtallymarks:

siriusly-not-over-remus:

aenramsden:

emnneryn:

I like to think that Rita Skeeter totally lost whatever renown she had after the war and so Harry and Ginny and the others like to pick up her stories for fun without worrying about the effect it’ll have on their image? Like Harry just idly turns a page every morning and goes, “Oh, we’re getting a divorce.”
And Ginny yawns as she fetches two coffee mugs and says, “Is it because I’m snogging Neville?”
“No,” says Harry, “it’s because I’m snogging Neville.”
And Ginny slams down her mug and says, “Goddamnit, Harry, let me have my affair in peace, would you?”

They have this sort of conversation in public, sometimes. Especially in places (the Leaky Cauldron, the Three Broomsticks, etc) where they know that it’ll get back to Skeeter.

I like to imagine that the kids get in on it as well. Like Albus and Scorpius can be over heard in the Great Hall with the latest Potter Family gossip

“Did you hear that your dad is leaving your mum for my father?”

“I thought mum was leaving dad for your mum, Scorp?”

“No that was last week. Your mum is with your aunt Luna right now.”

“Ah, my mistake. Pass the pumpkin juice.”

Please tell me that the cursed child was just another bullshit story that the kids fed to her.

New head-canon: Rita Skeeter wrote The Cursed Child.

I’ve been ignoring this post in my notifs for ages but this is now the only explanation for the Cursed Child that I will accept.

devereauxsdisease:

victorineb:

violacakes:

zimmbonibitty:

jacksbits:

dweeb-town:

concept: Jack Zimmermann walked in on Shitty holding the “yo marry me jack zimmermann” sign once and kind of winked and said “i think you’re gonna have to buy me dinner first, eh?” and shitty fell over laughing and when jack caught bitty holding it he had ever intention of doing the same thing but then his mind went blank and all he could picture was marrying bitty, but somehow, still didn’t realize how gone he was on him 

       

                       
                                                                                              #no I bet you their whole y2 friendship was jack getting these too-friendly impulses and then going blank and being like #‘haha…weird’ (tags via @nicepasses)                                         
       
   

               

               

       

‘probably gonna have to deal with that later’ 

and then when Bad Bob said the thing he said, Jack got a searing white insta-montage of all those stray thoughts he had discreetly filed away, and it was like he downloaded two years of romantic and sexual frustration into his brain in three seconds flat.

It’s amazing that he and Bitty survived their first kiss and didn’t spontaneously combust right there with all those flammable boxes of Sharks memorabilia.

@wrathofthestag @devereauxsdisease @disraeligearsgoestumblin @desperatelyseekingcannibals @tcbook

The Falcs do a PR push for Valentine’s Day, looking for the perfect Valentine for their leading scorer and new Alternate Captain. Instagram and Twitter go NUTS, Yo Marry Me Jack Zimmermann posters appear at every game. So many people have proposed to Jack via social media and at the rink, that our boy’s face is basically bright red for the whole month of February. 

Georgia sees the hullabaloo and develops a PR Plan. Every day, the Falcs post a picture of one of the players holding the sign. Tater has the sign in one hand and a ring pop in the other. Thirdy has a veil on. Marty is proposing to one of the Jack toys. Even Parse gets in on the action, because, let’s face it, he needs attention, and posts a picture of himself and Jack in Qs with the caption I asked him first

The final pic of a small blond man holding the sign, he’s wearing a Falcs bow tie and holding what appears to be a real ring. The next day there’s a pic of Jack positively beaming, arm slung around the blond and ring on his finger, holding a sign that says Yo, I Said Yes

And that’s how Jack comes out. 

@wrathofthestag @disraeligearsgoestumblin @victorineb – there, I kinda wrote a mini fic…does that count? 

mjolnirismypenis:

emilysidhe:

copperbadge:

mithen:

evinist:

There most be some fangirls in Gotham ship Bruce Wayne/Batman.

I’m imagining the fanfic, and it is filling me with glee! “The billionaire playboy shrank back a little from the vigilante. ‘W-what are you doing?’ He couldn’t help noticing his heartbeat had picked up. Batman looked back at him, his gaze expressionless. ‘I’m here to save your life, Mr. Wayne.’”

Bruce probably started the trend.

“Where did this ship even COME FROM?”

“IDK, someone wrote a really popular fic about it two years ago and everyone got on board.”

“Yeah, wasn’t his username grandfatherclock or something like that…”

No, see, this is brilliant because it actually works, because their “personalities” are so opposite that this ship would really appeal.  “You need to lighten up, Batman.”  “You need to take things more seriously, Mr Wayne.”  “When was the last time you had any fun?”  “When was the last time you did anything else?”

3hr long arguments about whether the best way to reform Gotham is through the Wayne Foundation charities and rebuilding initiatives or taking down the mobs and crime families that secretly run the city.

At the end, Bruce uses his rich-boy skills to take down a few henchmen – “What, you think I’ve never swung a golf club before?” – and Batman lets himself reluctantly be convinced to go out for ice cream.

(They’ve headcanoned Batman as blond to fit the necessary slash pairing requirements)

The comments are all, “OMG, have you ever noticed how Batman always intervenes when something shady goes down with the Wayne Foundation?  I mean, not that it’s like, out of character, foil Penguin’s plot to block a low-income housing proposal so he can put up another casino there, or whatever, he does that for everyone, but have you noticed that he’s involved every time it’s Wayne Foundation?  OMG THEY ARE DATING IN REAL LIFE THIS IS TOTALLY CANON!”

It’s the most popular Real Person ship in Gotham.

(Robin: “You know like, half the internet is shipping you with yourself.” Bruce: “I am large, Tim.  I contain multitudes.” smirk.)

Also imagine if one of those fangirls found one of the batcaves? Like she stumbles upon the batcave in Bruce’s house and just supposes that Bruce and Batman live together. It’s the ultimate cover for Bruce not being Batman because it suddenly becomes the biggest gossip in Gotham that Bruce Wayne and Batman are living together in that mansion and that’s why Bruce is so private. 

parrishsrubberplant:

He’s cute, for a hockey player. Of course he has the ridiculous flop of hair – it’s called “flow,” he explains, the first time she mentions it–but he also has lovely hands and a butt that should have its own zipcode, so she forgives the hair.

She’s been warned off him by four different people. Her manager: Bob Zimmermann is tabloid fodder. Stay away. Her sports-mad actress friend, Lucy: He’s a player and he’s got a reputation as a player. And weirdly, her Dad: Allie, not a hockey player! (When she asks her father to elaborate, she gets only a grunt, one of the non-expressive ones.)

Despite the warnings–and yes, he is a flirt, but he’s a flirt who knows where the line is and won’t cross it–she goes out with him . Tabloid fodder sells magazine covers. Free publicity. And if he’s a flirt, she is one too, a bit. Though after a month of knowing him, Alicia thinks part of his ‘flirty’ reputation is sheer exuberant friendliness. Even in fashion and theater, she’s met…maybe two people?…who are as interested in other people as Bob is.

They go to a French restaurant. This is part Bob’s choice–“Let me take you to this place I like! It’s quiet and it has nice food” and part hers–“I would like to go somewhere I can wear a slinky dress and heels.” She means to sound pragmatic and probably–damn it–sounds flirty.

Keep reading

from-james-to-lily:

i need a jily AU where james and lily are both first year graduate students

  • james is a math major
  • lily is a chemistry major
  • lily is taking her midterm in class for her physical chemistry class
  • it’s quite possibly the hardest class she’s ever taken
  • why is there so much math
  • why
  • because of the exam, classrooms and times are rearranged and the typical statistical physics class that meets here was canceled
  • but james, not reading the emails, saunters in twenty minutes late
  • what an idiot lily thinks as she hears somebody walk in
  • he doesn’t even realize he’s in the wrong class
  • oh there’s a midterm? hm, i could’ve sworn it was next week
  • the teaching assistant just smirks, hands him the 26-page exam packet
  • james finds an empty seat and realizes he forgets a pencil
  • he taps the redhead sitting next to him for a pencil
  • lily looks up
  • kill me he’s cute
  • why are all the stupid ones cute
  • she all but throws an old green pencil at him
  • she goes back to problem three, confused out of her mind
  • maybe i’ll just take up baking i could make a living off baking ugh why didn’t i study harder what does this symbol even mean again
  • she doesn’t even notice he’s flipping through the pages, scribbling some answers and derivations
  • an hour into the exam, he sits up and turns in the test and leaves
  • does he just not care

    lily screams in her head how did he even get into this university

  • finally, after the eighty minutes were up, she turns in her exam with utter defeat
  • a week later, her professor announces the top score, a 96%, beating the rest of the class by solid 20% margin
  • how on earth does anyone get 96% on that exam, it was impossible!
  • her professor continues: to a mr. james potter”
  • the class of fifty looks around: who the heck is james potter
  • after a moment of confusion and nobody claiming the test
  • lily turns red
  • that was him
  • halfway across campus, james potter walks into his organic chemistry elective course with an old green pencil behind his ear
  • man i hate organic chemistry