Holy shit guys read every heart a doorway by seanan mcguire
-the main character is an asexual girl
-the Hottest Guy In School is trans
-its about a school for kids who had amazing adventures in alternate realities and are coping with being back in our world
-the writing style is amazing
-the characters are amazing
-its also a murder mystery
-this is an actual line from it: “Cheese making, for example. The perfect intersection of milk, science, and foolish disregard for the laws of nature.”
Hey this is one of the books I just recommended doesn’t it sound great!?
If y’all use a decent box mix and use melted butter instead of vegetable oil, an extra egg, and milk instead of water, no one can tell the difference. I sure as hell can’t.
Also, if you add a little almond extract to vanilla cake, or a little coffee to chocolate cake, it sends it through the roof.
This concludes me attempting to be helpful.
yo I can vouch for this I’ve done this for the last few cakes I’ve made and holy crap it makes suuuuch a difference the cake is still fluffy, but it also seems more dense, and it doesn’t dry out like at all you can leave it uncovered on the counter all day after being cut into, and it won’t get all crusty and dry this is an amazing way to take your cakes to the next level
Sometimes I think back on the time I spent working as a barista, and it seems SO STRANGE to me that “coffee shop AU” has become synonymous with narratives that are low on conflict, high on wholesome romance. During the year I spent working at a coffee shop:
A coworker of mine took a bunch of psychedelics, walked through some strangers’ plate-glass door, and threatened them with a bowie knife, leading to his arrest and imprisonment (and, needless to say, a late opening for the coffee shop that morning).
Another coworker, an ex-military type with a young wife and a new baby, decided to smoke up for the first time ever with two other mutual coworkers, in the back of one of their trucks; and ended up having a three-way with them which ended his marriage.
I had a nervous breakdown, stopped being able to eat food or hold conversations, and ended up sleeping on my coworker’s couch for three weeks before she finally called my parents to come collect me.
Multiple store managers were fired for embezzlement. (Reminder: this was within the space of a single year.)
Yet another coworker, who was seventeen at the time, started dog-sitting for a couple of regulars in their (I’m guessing) early 50s, and ended up in an ongoing creepy and incidentally illegal ~relationship~ with them both.
Various employees discovered, in the course of cleaning the bathrooms: couples fucking in the bathrooms; junkies passed out in the bathrooms; drunks puking in the bathrooms; both adults and children weeping in the bathrooms; a woman bleeding all over the bathroom from a gash in her throat (??); a dude standing in the middle of the bathroom floor and pissing in the opposite direction from the toilet, so that when the employee opened the unlocked door she got piss all over her (????).
The owner of the bridal shop across the street was exposed as both abusive toward her employees and also cooking the books, which led to my coffee shop taking on a couple of untrained and weirdly conservative bridal shop workers for a few months while the bridal shop was shuttered and sold to new owners. Later the larcenous former bridal shop owner came down with some horrible disease which caused her to lose both her hands.
There was a regular universally referred to as “Sketchy Steve,” who came in at 7am for a three-shot latte with room for Seagrams 7, and dealt drugs to all us baristas. I actually, at one point (I cannot believe I was this stupid), went inside Sketchy Steve’s house, and allowed him to spend like half an hour showing me his collection of découpaged outlet plates and also soliciting me for sex while I uncomfortably yet studiously declined.
Right before I started, the store manager had walked off the job in the middle of a shift, and ¾ of the employees had walked out after him. None of them ever returned.
Like, working on the front lines of food service was the most operatically sordid professional experience I have ever had, and one of the most surreal; and it is hilarious to me that THAT, of all jobs, is the one that has come to stand for soft-focus domestic romance in fandom circles.
like, straightaway. the comet hits in chapter three. all the rest is people dealing with the immediate aftermath.
meaning NATURAL DISASTERS
there is also a generation ship that was supposed to flee the planet but couldn’t leave on time you had one job.
biracial bisexual trans girl who Gets Things Done
dust blocking out the sun
autistic heroine whose special interest is cats, who’s actually called autistic in-text, who deals with microaggressions and burnout and overload and happy stimming, who has thoroughly prepared for the end of the world, and who’s picky about her food even in the face of the apocalypse 👌
water. a lot of it.
Amsterdam. it’s not in great shape. sorry, Amsterdam.
survivors not going all Walking Dead on each other
but being practical and conflicted and scared and hopeful
hopeful apocalypse?
~life-affirming~ apocalypse
it is now on sale
the ebook went from $15.54 to $1.29
please help show publishers books like this can work?
Weirdly anti-millennial articles have scraped the bottom of the barrel so hard that they are now two feet down into the topsoil
its so wild like “this generation with no fucking money is learning to prioritize essentials” and all these chucklefucks can write is advertisements for these companies
at least our jeans won’t tear at the seams after two washes
FUCK FABRIC SOFTENER IT’S UTTERLY POINTLESS
AND FUCK DRYER SHEETS LITERALLY NOBODY EVER HAS ENOUGH OF A PROBLEM WITH STATIC TO WARRANT PAYING OUT THE ASS FOR THAT SHIT
DO YOU WANT CLEAN CLOTHES? YOU DON’T EVEN NEED TO BUY FUCKING DETERGENT JUST MAKE YOUR OWN* IT’S SO GODDAMN EASY AND 80X CHEAPER
FUCK THE ENTIRE LAUNDRY INDUSTRY
*Fuck The Entire Laundry Industry Recipe
1 cup Washing Soda (not Baking Soda. Different things.)
1 cup Borax (not Boric Acid. Also a different thing.)
½ cup – 1 cup grated bar soap (you can use literally anything. I often use Ivory because it’s easy to get and I find it works well, a lot of people like Fels-Naptha, which is an actual laundry bar. Some people use Dr. Bronner’s. Really does not fucking matter.)
After grating your soap, combine all ingredients. That’s it. That’s the whole thing. Use maybe a ¼ cup per load.
^^^ I’ve done this for years now and it works as well as any store bought detergent
WHAT Thank you, tumblr user awfullydull! Your URL does no justice to the good advice you give!
Also you can MAKE your own washing soda very VERY cheaply.
Step one: acquire $5 bag of baking soda from Costco.
Step two: lay that motherfucking baking soda out on a baking tray.
Step three: bake the baking soda on a tray in an oven at 400° for 1 hour (to make the moisture evaporate, leaving washing soda)
Step four: revel in how easy and cheap it is to make your own washing soda, and maybe take a moment to be angry that the industry upcharges the fuck out of something that is so easy to make.
I see some of y’all complaining about static and/or wanting nice smelling laundry. Go to a craft store, find 100% wool yarn balls. If it doesn’t come in a ball, ask an employee to make it into a tight ball for you. Wash in the washing machine to make it felted. Remove from washer, add a few drops of essential oil to the ball, allow to seep in. Dry with clothing. Doesn’t need to be rewashed ever, and if it stops smelling, add few more drops of essential oil. Bam, reusable dryer sheets.
my favourite thing about big eden is that there are a bunch of critics on the rotten tomatoes page going ‘totally unrealistic and corny, no village in rural Montana is this accepting, thumbs down’ and then a bunch of gay commenters going ‘totally unrealistic and corny, no village in rural Montana is this accepting, I loved it’
like we need nice sweet romantic films so badly even sixteen years later, especially ones that aren’t shoved up their own arse. I just want to watch guys fall in love without having to think about the fucking Berlin wall
Exactly – I have a policy called “no dead lesbians” which is p much as it sounds, and is great, but it does lead to me having to cut out the vast majority of ‘classics’. (seriously – nearly every ‘good’ classic ends up with thwarted love or suicide or just death by angst. Maurice is the only exception I can think of off the top of my head, and that starts v slow.) Instead you end up with some truly awful, cheesy romcoms. Like, bad. Like, I grew up watching corny kollywood and they’d reject them bad. And tbh – I like the crap better. I’d much rather roll my eyes at a cheesy movie than have to sit through another ‘she died of mysterious angstygaycharacteritis fornoreasonosoma’ show.
Anyway, we should make a subsection list of ‘no dead lesbians’ called ‘gay people don’t want to think about the ozone layer’ – where not only do the gay characters not die for no reason, they also don’t spend their time having to worry overly about societal homophobia. While it’s realistic, we don’t need to be told, so I’m thinking a list of media that’s either entirely a gay bubble or like Big Eden, where for some reason it’s a universe where everyone is chill. Add your own:
Girltrash! All Night Long: this is basically like Superbad but with lesbians. It’s trash. I’m sorry. (I’m not sorry.)
Imagine Me and You: rom commiest of rom coms. Lena Headey is in it. It’s cute.
Bar Girls: “finally..a romantic comedy without men”. Bit slice-of-lifey, but I’m including it cos wlw never get romcoms that don’t go on about conversion therapy or how much angst there is out there.
The Joe Keenan ‘Blue Heaven’ trilogy: these are actually books but I wanted to include them. imagine if Jeeves and Wooster were gay but actually Wooster was two incredibly lazy screenwriters who try and make a quick buck and pull off some sort of crime caper, but it all goes hilariously wrong and at one point the mafia gets involved, and also there’s an ongoing pisstake of Hollywood going on. Now you see why I wanted to include it.
Is it just me?: someone got me to watch this movie and I haven’t forgiven them for it. It’s so cheesy, just so, so, so cheesy. I actually can’t remember it because I rolled my eyes a lot but basically a gay cowboy and a liberal writer fall in love online, then they meet up, but oh no! there’s been a case of mistaken identity, clearly the sensible thing to do is not to come clean but continue the hilarious subterfuge.
The 10 year plan: ‘haha, these good friends who have totally different personalities make a pact that if they aren’t married in ten years, they’ll date, GUESS WHAT HAPPENS I’m so shocked’. But with two dudes.
eCupid: this is by the same director who did ‘Is it just me’ and ‘the 10 year plan’. It’s about the same level of cheese, but with ~how technology can affect your relationship~, this time. How topical.
I guess Please Like Me is a good example of a sitcom that doesn’t go “woe is me, I have realised I am gay, my life must be angsting about homophobia”, but there is some heavy subject matter cos it’s more slice-of-life.
(will probably make this into a proper post that can be added to later but rn I’m piggybacking on this one soz)
ayy this is really good ! gotta say my heart still belongs to THIS generator but this ones definitely more useful for making things thatre Really Out There in terms of creature design lemme just
Oh man where to start. I guess I’ll go in that order of genres for this list:
For sitcom-esque wlw comics I’d point you towards Giant Days and Jem and the Holograms.
Giant Days is a gut-bustingly funny comic about university life, and Daisy’s coming out story holds a very special place in my heart. It’s my favorite thing ever just read it it’s good.
Jem and the Holograms is more soapy than comedic, about 3 rival pop bands. Kimber and Stormer are your friendly neighborhood red and blue gays, and Leah Dwyer is too good for this world, too pure.
If you’re looking for more adventurous content, Lumberjanes, Joyride, and Goldie Vance are my go-tos.
Often described as a mix between Gravity Falls and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the Lumberjanes are kick-butt girl scouts fighting cryptids and investigating the forest’s time-stopping properties. With a super diverse cast (Ripley is half Afro-Mexican and half white, Jo is Navajo, Mal is Korean-American, Jen is black, and Molly and April are white) and a metric ton of LGBT rep (Mal and Molly are lesbians, Jo is a trans girl, Barney uses they/them pronouns, and Rosie/Abigail was definitely a thing in the past), Lumberjanes really changed the game for comic books.
Joyride’s about 3 teens zipping about the cosmos in a stolen spaceship. The eye-popping colors and linework elevate the already devastating plot and characters (issue #3 marks a highpoint for the series imo, and its what got me hooked) and the confession and cliffhanger at the end of issue #8 wrecked my life.
So far, Goldie Vance has less of a supernatural vibe, but there’s definitely mysterious ties to the space programs of the 60’s. Goldie’s a car-loving teen detective who lives and works at the hotel her dad runs (which apparently has a detective department for some reason, she’s supposed to be the valet but likes to help out). Brittney Williams also does the art for Hellcat, and you’ll fall in love with this idyllic world instantly.
For action, Motor Crush is the place to go. It’s only had two issues so far, but the art is fantastic, the sci-fi gang wars are captivating, and Domino’s a really compelling protagonist (she and her bubblegum-pink mechanic ex-gf are cuties too)
I’m gonna give an honorable mention to The Backstagers, which I adore. Pitched as “LETS MAKE A SUPER GAY STAGE CREW BOOK!!”, its about 5 students at an all-boys school fighting monsters and trying not to get their organization shut down. Word of God says everyone but Aziz is somewhere on the LGBT+ spectrum (1) (2), and a bunch of new characters from the rival all-girls school have been introduced recently, so keep an eye on it for wlw (and for great mlm and trans rep already)
what i do is not up to you 