AS I WATCHED HIM GROOOOOOW TIME HE WOULD NEVERRRR KNOOOOOOW TIIIIiiIIIiiiiiiIIIIME FOR MY REGRET RESIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDES TIIIIIME
IF I ONLY KNEEEEEEEW THE WHAT AND HOW AND WHO THAT TIIIIIIIME TRULY DIVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiides
so naturally peter is gonna win first place at the band fundraiser instead of Flash. Tony is a fucking billionaire, he can handle it. Mr. Thompson–his name might be Mike? That’s a dick name–is going to cry in his two-years-ago-BMW, which isn’t that good of a car to begin with. Tony built better cars when he was drunk and eighteen.
Tony didn’t know how to bake. Keyword: didn’t. After one of Peter’s snobby ass classmates’ moms makes fun of Aunt May’s baking skills for the bake sale, Tony takes it upon himself to beat Linda at her own fucking game.
“Dry ass bitch tries to tell me her chocolate truffles are better from her grandmother’s recipe from IOWA. Try me bitch, I got ingredients directly imported from France.”
It should be noted that Peter got this all on video. Including Tony’s ten minute rant about how someone from Iowa wouldn’t know a truffle from a Costco knockoff, and the entire lecture of the invention of chocolate truffles in France.
Tony’s truffles knocked it out of the park. Linda’s were a fucking NIGHTMARE compared to Tony’s. They’re dry.
But then she whips out the CAKE POPS.Tony fumes as hers sell for two dollars “You can’t fake quality,” Linda said smugly.
“Hammer Industries does it all the time, I wouldn’t be surprised,” Tony says back.
He doesn’t know how people make cake pops. But he’s determined.
He hires professional bakers.
Peter posts about it on his finsta, and it’s the FUNNIEST thing that no one can know about.
It’s often been remarked that Spider-Man’s schtick wouldn’t work nearly so well if he didn’t live in a town with so many tall buildings, but consider: how well would Batman’s “I am the night” routine work if he was operating out of a normal city where people actually live, rather than a perpetually twilit urban hellscape that looks like the Art Deco movement had a one-night stand with Soviet Brutalism in a wrought-iron-and-gargoyle factory?
That is my favorite description of the Batman aesthetic ever.
OMDFG that’s a perfect description.
Imagine Spiderman ballooning in wide open areas. No, sorry, can’t get to that crime, its against the prevailing wind.
Also, Batman brooding on top of a Wafflehouse.
Batman: God, this stupid city with its sufficient lighting and lack of crumbling infrastructure to shoot grappling hooks into
Superman: Everyone for miles has lead poisoning, I’ve spent the entire night stopping crossword puzzle museum robberies and heists at the Second National Bank of Gotham on the corner of second street and second avenue, and earlier the wall of…clouds? smog?…cleared up for a minute and I’m pretty sure the sky was literally blood red
You’ve got to give it to luke and Ben tho. They’re truly Anakin’s own flesh and blood. Only two skywalkers could have had their family confrontation full of dramatics and emotion and ridiculousness on planet made of salt.
in the first movie, when leia got rescued, she was expecting some kind of actual military operatives with things like a plan and an exit strategy and a working vehicle. this is why she was so salty about instead being rescued by basically the duke brothers and an angry carpet in a past-warranty space winnebago.
like when the bad guys capture a diplomat you’re supposed to send mission impossible, not cheech & chong
Leia wanted a full D&D party, and what she got was a Rogue with no Bluff, a wizard who left his spell sheet at home, and a barbarian who made charisma his highest score.
what i do is not up to you 