First Burn is a masterpiece, and there’s one thing in particular I can’t get over. We’re all talking about this incredible, savage quote:
“Your enemies whisper so you have to scream. I know about whispers. I see how you look at my sister.”
It shakes us to the core, it speaks deeper of something we always knew. Eliza might say she doesn’t know who Alexander is, she has so much to learn, but also she knows everything.
Of course, she knows Alexander so so well and she knows better than anyone where to attack him: his writing, his legacy. The final version of Burn shows us that: she goes right for his throat, ‘your sentences border on senseless’ and so on. His obsession with his legacy and ‘you are paranoid in every paragraph how they perceive you’.
But she always knows the rest of his flaws, she knows what Alexander is doing to her. She sees how he is about women, about her own sister. She loves him and sees all the amazing stuff about him, but she sees him entirely, all the bad included. In Satisfied, Angelica says she’d have to be naive to put aside Hamilton’s flaws and intentions. Eliza see his defects too, she also says she’s not naive, she stands by his side but she knows what he is costing her. She knows his power to affect people, herself included: “Don’t take another step in my direction, I can’t be trusted around you”. She sees the effects of his charms on others and in hers, and she is prepared for that, for his words: “Don’t think you can talk your way into my arms”.
And she knows his tendency for self-destruction. Angelica used the Icarus metaphor, but Eliza was already aware of his sense of self preservation, so extreme it easily went sideways, being how he falls. She knew how blind he could be to the things that really mattered, obsessed with his legacy, drowning in his pride. She saw the things he ignored and dismissed, she’s way ahead of him: “When will you learn that they are your legacy? We are your legacy”. This quote speaks to so many things, to Philip’s death, to Alexander’s legacy only surviving thanks to Eliza, to his whole story.
Angelica is not the only Schuyler who can read right through him. Eliza was looking closer, longer, even deeper. And she was right in the eye of the hurricane along with him, the consequences affected her and her family directly. She knew everything, she felt all of it. It’s not hard to understand why she loves him, why she forgives him later, and it’s no wonder at all that she hopes that he burns.
Tag: IM DYING
My feelings 100% like get away from my baby
i did not start watching elementary to ship joan and sherlock but um here i am
I wonder if, in superhero universes, the villains ever get contacted by those “Make a Wish Foundation” and similar people.
I mean, the heroes do, of course they do, kids who want to meet Spiderman or Superman or get to be carried by the Flash as he runs through Central City for just thirty seconds.
But surely there are also the kids, who – because they are kids and sometimes kids are just weird – decide that what they really, really want is to meet a supervillain. Because he’s scary or she’s awesome or that freeze ray is just really, really cool, you know?
Oh, man, that would absolutely be a thing. The heroes would be so weirded out by it. The villains with codes of ethics would totally band together to force the villains without one (should they be the one requested) to do their part for the cause.
But imagine the person who has to track down the villains and organise everything?
Like, the first time it happens, no one actually thinks it’s possible, but one of the newbies volunteers to at least try. They get lucky, the kid wants to meet one of the villains who is well known to have a personal code of ethics (eg one of the rogues), and it takes them weeks to track the villain down to this one bar they’ve been seen at a few times, plus a week of staking out said bar, but they finally find them.
So they approach the villain, very politely introduce themselves and explain the situation, finishing with an assurance that, should the villain agree, no law enforcement or heroes will be informed of the meeting.
The villain, assuming it’s a joke, laughs in their face.
At this point, the poor volunteer, who has giving up weeks of their time and no small amount of effort to track down this villain, all so a sweet little girl can meet the person who somehow inspired them, well, at this point the employee sees red.
They explode, yelling at this villain about the little girl who, for some unknown reason, absolutely loved them, had a hand-made stuffed toy of them and was inspired by their struggle to keeping fighting her own and wasn’t the villain supposed to have ethics? The entire bar is witness to this big bad villain getting scolded by some bookish nobody a foot shorter than them.
When the volunteer is done, the villain calmly knocks back their drink, grips the volunteers shoulder and drags them outside. The bar’s patrons assume that person will never be seen again, the volunteer included. But once they’re outside, the villain apologises for their assumption, asks for the kid’s details so they can drop by in the near future, not saying when for obvious reasons. They also give the very relieved volunteer a phone number to call if someone asks for them again.
A week later, the little girl’s room is covered in villain merchandise, several expensive and clearly stolen gifts and she is happily clutching a stack of signed polaroids of her and the villain.
The next time a kid asks to meet a villain, guess who gets that assignment?
Turns out, the first villain was quite touched by the experience of meeting their little fan, and word has gotten around. The second villain happily agrees when they realise it’s the same volunteer who asked the other guy. Unfortunately, one of the heroes sees the villain entering the kid’s hospital and obviously assumes the worst. They rush in, ready to drag the villain out, but the volunteer stands in their way. The hero spends five minutes getting scolded for trying to stop the villain from actually doing a good thing and almost ruining the kid’s wish. The volunteer gets a reputation among villains as someone who can not only be trusted with personal contact numbers but who will do everything they can to keep law enforcement away during their visits.
The volunteer has a phonebook written in cypher of all the villain’s phone numbers, with asterixes next to the ones to call if any other villains give them trouble.
Around the office, they gain the unofficial job title of The Villain Wrangler.
The heroes are genuinely flabbergasted by The Villain Wrangler. At first, some of the heroes try to reason with them.
Heroes: “Can’t you, just, give us their contact details? They’ll never even have to know it was you.”
The Villain Wrangler: “Yeah sure, <rollseyes> because all these evil geniuses could never possibly figure out that it’s me who happens to be the common thread in the sudden mass arrests. Look man, even if it wouldn’t get me killed, it would disappoint the kids. You wouldn’t want to disappoint the kids would you?”
Heroes: “… no~ but…”
The Villain Wrangler: “Exactly.”
Eventually, one of the anti-hero types gets frustrated, and decides to take a stand. They kidnap the Villain Wrangler and demand that they give up the contents of the little black book of Villains, or suffer the consequences. It’s For the Greater Good, the anti-hero insists as they tie the Villain Wrangler to a pillar.
The Villain Wrangler: “You complete idiot, put me back before someone figures out that I’m missing.”
Anti-hero: “…excuse me?”
The Villain Wrangler: “Ugh, do I have to spell this out for you? Do you actually want your secret base to be wiped off the map? With us in it? Sugarsticks, how long has it been? If they get suspicious, they check in, and then if I miss a check-in, they tend to come barging into wherever I am just to prove that they can, even if they figure out that they’re not being threatened by proxy. Suffice to say, Auntie Muriel really regretted throwing my phone into the pool when she strenuously objected to me answering it during family time. If they think for even one moment that I’ve given them up, they won’t hesitate to obliterate both of us from their potential misery. You do know some of the people in my book have like missiles and djinni and elemental forces at their disposal, right?”
Anti-hero: “Wait, what? I thought they trusted you?!”
The Villain Wrangler: “Trust is such a strong word!”
Villain: “Indeed.”
Anti-hero: “Wait, wha-” <slumps over, dart sticking out of neck>
The Villain Wrangler: “Thanks. I thought they were going to hurt me.”
Villain: “You did well. You kept them distracted, and gave us time to follow your signal.” <cuts Villain Wrangler free>
The Villain Wrangler: <rubbing circulation back into limbs> “Yeah well, you know me, I do whatever I have to. So I’ll see you Wednesday at four at St Martha’s? I’ve got an 8yo burns unit patient recovering from her latest batch of skin grafts who could really use a pep talk.”
Villain: “… of course. Yes… I… yes.”
The Villain Wrangler: “I just think you could really reach her, you know?”
Villain: <unconsciously runs fingers over mask> “I… yes, but, what should I say?”
The Villain Wrangler: “Whatever advice you think you could have used the most just after.”
Villain: <hoists Anti-hero over shoulder almost absently> “….yes.”
The Villain Wrangler wasn’t lying to the Anti-hero. They know that the more ruthless villains would not hesitate if they thought for one second that the Anti-hero would betray them.
But this is not the first time the Villain Wrangler has gone to extreme lengths to protect their identities.
Trust is a strong word. The Villain Wrangler earned it, and is terrified by what it could mean.
My first official deadpool headcanon is this. This this this.
Okay but this whole concept actually makes a lot of sense, because villains are a lot more likely to be disfigured/disabled/use adaptive devices (bc ableist tropes), so of course, say, a child amputee is going to be more interested in the villain with a robot arm who almost destroyed New York than the heroes that took him down.
Also, imagine one of the kids gets better, and a few years down the line becomes a villain themself, except their crimes are things like smuggling chemo drugs across the border for families that can’t afford treatment, or stealing from corrupt businessmen to make donations to underfunded hospitals (idk this turned into a Leverage AU or something) and every time the heroes encounter her, they’re like “oh no. she’s getting away. curses. welp, nothing we can do.” Though it isn’t that she can’t take them on; bc of course once the villain from way back when found out what she was up to, he started helping/training her.
“I thought they just hired someone to dress up and pretend to be you,” she says, amazed, when he reveals himself. “I didn’t think they actually got the real you!”
Every year the Villain Wrangler gets a very expensive gift basket from the pair.
and for the kids who don’t get better the villains are there too, they show up to every funeral, they bear too small coffins on their shoulders and the heroes stand aside
they are fierce with grieving families assuring them that their child will not be forgotten, and they don’t balk at negative emotions, they don’t tell people to be strong or “celebrate their child’s life,” because these parents have every right to their grief and anger
and the lost children are never forgotten. flowers appear on graves during birthdays and anniversaries, heroes find pictures of those kids and they carefully take them down and ensure they’re delivered to the villain’s cell, and a few villains can be seen with friendship bracelets wrapped around their wrists the cops have learned not to try and take them off
This is all soooo good, but I wonder what effect this has on the villains. Like, can they really wreak indiscriminate havoc when they know the kids that worship them might be in the area? Like, what if they attack a shopping mall and it just so happens that Annie’s mom ran in for a pair of shoes or something? What then?
So what you’re saying is that there is now an organization of henchmen who do round the clock, exhaustive research in order to make sure the villain’s plan isn’t going to ruin the life of some kid. Just imagine some aunt getting a call from an unlisted number.
“I swear I am not a bill collector ma’am. It’s just. Well. Ok and I swear I am not a stalker even if this is actually going to be a very creepy phone call, but you said you were going to the mall at four? Is it possible you could reschedule or postpone that trip for about an hour? That mall is way too close to…well. It just wouldn’t be safe. I could wire you some money, and you could go to the much nicer mall one town over? Would that work for you? No? You are calling the police? Yes. Yes that is the sensible thing to do. Definitely do that. You have a nice day, ma’am. Tell Marcus Doctor Evil says hello and to have a nice day.”
And then the poor minion has to call the villain and explain why robbing X bank isn’t a good idea that day.
“Yes. Hello. Sir? Oh good I caught you before you left the base. Look, Marcus Smithson’s aunt is going to be near the blast radius for that job you have scheduled so-yes. Yes I am aware that rescheduling is going to be a lot of work since most everything is already set up, but….but, sir think about poor Marcus! She’s his favorite aunt, and the woman refused to ‘reorder her life around some crazy mastermind’. ……no…..no, please do not kidnap the aunt, sir. It’s terribly rude. Yes I realize you weren’t going to keep her or doing anything other than drop her off at an alternative location, but, well, citizens frown upon that sort of thing and….yes….Yes, of course. You have a good day, too, sir.”
And they turn to their coworker and are just like “So if I don’t come in to work tomorrow it’s because Doctor Evil threw me in his dungeon and/or sent his hellhounds to maul me. Please remember to send help.”
Oooooh yes.
But but but… what happens when one falls through the cracks? When Lord Dominion or whatever does a typical baddie thing but then Penny’s new best friend gets caught up in the damage and Lord D didn’t even KNOW Penny had a new bestie so how was he to know but now the kid is devastated and it’s all his fault? I mean, how does that even shake out?
Penny SWEARS REVENGE! Lord D is distraught but also somewhat proud. He sends Penny a very sincere apology and also a bunch of tips on how to execute a proper vengeance plot, in case she decides not to accept the apology. He sends henchmen to spy on her, and he keeps the surveillance photos of her sitting in her room, plans and schematics strewn all over her desk. He puts them in his wallet and brags to all his villain friends that one of his kids is taking up scheming, look at her go, she’s already started on pattern analysis of his latest heists. He’s so proud. Later this month he’ll show up on her way home from school so she can have her first Confrontation.
omg yes. Yes to all of that. There will inevitably be mistakes and tragedies.
Penny is an intelligent kid. She catches on to the spying henchmen pretty quick and bribes some of them to her side with snacks. That first confrontation does not go like Lord Dominion expected because Penny has minions (minions that are using his OWN WEAPONS against him, even)
Lord Dominion is the proudest villain ever, even if he did almost lose an ear thanks to the impeccable aim of a nine year old with a grudge. He does let the laser blast graze him just so he can have a scar to show people because that girl is a villain after his own heart.
He doesn’t want to ask his villain rivals to help her out because that would imply he doesn’t think she’s capable of eventually growing strong enough to kick his ass. Turns out Penny already thought of that and has mailed letters asking for advice to Lady Sinister, Lord Dominion’s long time, mostly friendly rival. (She mailed a letter to Lord D’s arch nemesis, but man. Heroes are always trying to make you do The Right Thing. Penny doesn’t have time for the high road. Plus, the low road has lasers.)
Lady Sinister thinks Penny is the best thing ever and while she has mostly stopped kicking Lord D’s ass, she still breaks into his hideout to sit in his favorite chair with a glass of wine and brags about her new favorite up and coming villainess. (She doesn’t warn Lord D about the attack rabbits she agreed to train for Penny as a favor, and for obvious reasons, she is going to be a bystander at the next confrontation, filming everything on her phone to post the dark web so all their villain friends can see this)
@deadcatwithaflamethrower – there is more. Took me a moment to find where I’d reblogged it, though.
THERE IS MOAR.
I’m going to seriously die if the major conflict between Bitty and his parents this year isn’t him coming out, but if Bitty and Suzanne legit fall out over him using Aunt Judy’s jam recipe.
Imagine Bitty and Suzanne, in true Southern fashion, the subtle and not-so-subtle passive-aggressive snipes and asides:
“Oh, Dicky, I was planning to send you a care package, but I’ve seen how much you enjoy getting things from your Aunt Judy–”
“Mother, please–”
“She shared some of those pictures from Mr. Alexei, showing off all that jam you sent to the Falconers! They must’ve loved that recipe so much, Dicky!”
“Well, yes, but–”
“And you couldn’t’ve gotten all those berries up north, so I figured she must’ve sent some up already. Me sending any, they’d’ve just gone to waste! What. a. shame. that would’ve been.”
And of course it escalates, to where they’re gritting their teeth through every conversation and furiously complain to their partners after every time they speak.
Coach, of course, doesn’t care, and wants to stay out of it, but Bitty interprets his silence for taking his mother side. And Bitty probably was already thinking about staying part of the summer in Providence with Jack….
Mentioning that to Suzanne, however, opens up a whole new can of worms:
“You’re neglecting your family!”
“It’s just one summer!”
“It was just one batch of Judy’s jam, at first! Now you’re making it like you’re fixin’ to feed an army, and when’s the last time you made our recipe, hm?”
“That’s not the same thing and you know it, Mother–”
“But it’s tradition. You always come down for the 4th of July!”
“I can do to skip one year. They’re’ll be plenty more to come.”
“Do they even celebrate the 4th up there?”
“Oh for–Yes, Mother. If I stay with Jack we’ll celebrate Canada Day, too. That’s twice the celebrating! Twice the tradition.”
“Don’t take that tone with me, young man.”
“Mother–”
“–I just don’t know what’s got into you, Dicky! It’s like I don’t even know you anymore!”
At that point the fight gets real. Tempers flare, Words are spoken, and tears are shed, and in the end, Bitty snaps:
“You know what’s got into me? Fine. I’m gay. I’m dating Jack. and I’m staying with my boyfriend over the summer. Deal with it, Mother!”
At which point Suzanne snaps back:
“Well fine! That still doesn’t excuse your sorry excuse for preserves!”
and hangs up on him.
She calls him back immediately:
“And just so you know, Jack Zimmermann is a wonderful young man who is welcome in my house any time. You are free to come home as soon as you come off that high horse’ve yours and re-learn some manners!”
She hangs up again.
And that is my happy head canon of how Bitty comes out to his mother and doesn’t speak to her again for two months, not because he’s gay, but because of jam.
Jack Zimmermann, on the other hand, receives a congratulatory call, a warm welcome into the family, and weekly care packages with rainbow-themed note cards saying “To Jack, my favorite son.” (You didn’t think Bitty got his saltiness from Coach, did you?)
(For his part, Coach calls Bitty for an awkward but warm “So your mother says you’re gay, that right? Dating Zimmermann, too? Well. Guess you got some good taste there, Junior.”)
angry doesnt even begin to explain this uber experience
this? is the funniest comic frame and character interaction in history. tater screaming blueberry in jacks ear. “Tater. Could you shut up.” thirdy totally unprepared for the ordering process. the other guys in the back watching the event unfold. “wait, say that again”. jacks shirt hanging open and and his exasperated look with one ear plugged. we’ve got open, genuine comedy here boys.
Stranger Things is an amazing show. I can’t recommend it enough.
This comic isn’t very spoilery but it won’t make a lot of sense until you’ve watched the show. The entire first season is on Netflix. Go check it out!
okay but like THERE IS AN ACTUAL CONNECTION:
“When Millie auditioned, she had long brown hair down past her shoulders. But Eleven was written as having hair “buzzed almost to the scalp.” Millie and her parents were understandably hesitant to chop it all off. Would it look ugly? Would it cost her other roles? Fortunately, Mad Max: Fury Road was about to come out, so we pulled out a magazine photograph of Charlize Theron as Furiosa and showed it to Millie. “Charlize looks totally badass, right?” Millie agreed; Charlize looked badass. And that was it: She agreed to buzz it all off.
“When the day of the haircut finally arrived, Millie’s mom brought out a camcorder, while her dad ran away with tears in his eyes, unable to watch. It was a pretty dramatic scene. But also very quick. Within 10 minutes we had shaved it all off and slapped a fake “11” tattoo on Millie’s wrist. Millie looked at herself in the mirror, gave her best Furiosa scream — and Eleven was born.”
I just. LITTLE GIRLS BEING INSPIRED BY FURIOSA
WHILE GROWN MEN CRY.IM SCREAMING THIS IS SO IMPORTANT (also: go watch stranger things it is so good!!!)
my favourites.
Jack Zimmermann and the Superfan
What I really really want is for Jack Zimmermann to be doing PR and meeting fans and there’s a person in line who is just vibrating in excitement.
- Jack sees them down a few people back in the line and mentally starts preparing himself for this encounter (he dealt with Chowder for a year, he can do this, right?)
- So when the person gets to the front of the line, Jack smiles his media smile, all big and fake, but inviting and the person is all, “OH MY GOD! YOU’RE JACK ZIMMERMANN!”
- and Jack starts to say something, but– “OH MY GOD. YOU KNOW ERIC BITTLE!
- And Jack has an internal freak out, because random person knows my boyfriend, what do i do? WHAT DO I DO?
- And person is all, “CAN YOU GIVE ERIC BITTLE THIS ROLLING PIN? Please? I won my county fair pie baking contest from watching his vlog and he’s amazing and my hero and omg!” *breaks into tears because they met someone who’s met their fav* and is basically #nochill
- All the other Falconer’s are looking at the scene like, wtf is even happening right now? Why is there a rolling pin and a crying person in front of Zimmermann? (Tater went to the bathroom or something)
- (or alternately, he’s like, Zimmboni? Why do you know so many bakers, your gf, this eric bittle? and then, in the back of his head, he’s all, oh. maybe its just one person?” The seed has been planted.)
- (Basically, I want Tater to figure it out and be super supportive. But, I digress.)
- Jack, meanwhile cannot keep the largest, most genuine grin off of his face because this is so adorable, Bitty has a FAN. *Heart eyes*
- so then he’s all, yeah, I know Bittle. I talked to him last week. (*sweats* don’t be too obvious jack. It was really 20 minutes ago.)
- So Jack takes the rolling pin and the person just keeps thanking him profusely and is so gracious that Jack asks if they’re on twitter.
- Imagine twitter-inept Jack Zimmermann painstakingly taking down their twitter info so he can give it to Bitty, because he knows that Bitty will want it.
- or BETTER YET, Bitty (and the rest of SMH) will be at the game and Jack tells a manager or whoever to put this really cool person on the guest list for after the game because, damn it, Bitty needs to be appreciated, but Jack wants to see it!
- Also, this is grade A chirp material, and Jack Zimmermann is a lot of things, but willing to pass up an opportunity to chirp his bf is not one of them.
- Jack hands the rolling pin back to the fan and tells them to hang around after the game, he has an idea.
- And that’s the story of how Eric Bittle met his number 1 fan. (But not in a creepy, stalky kind of way. Homie is chill when not fangirl/boying everywhere.)
- And Bitty signs his first rolling pin, which eventually becomes a thing when he becomes famous for his vlog/cooking show.
- Everyone from Taylor Swift to Obama covet an Eric Bittle Rolling Pin.
- Bitty almost dies when he gets a message from Beyoncé.
- She really wants one of those pins (and maybe a lemon pie to go with her lemonade).
- Bitty invites her on the show.
- It’s the highest viewed hour special of the year.
1.07 // 1.13
what i do is not up to you 