Okay so hockey is like, rife with superstitions and
ritual.Each player has their own pre-game rituals, which are
honestly on par with religious sacraments.
You do not fuck with a man’s
pre-game ritual. Also, the inability to
practice one’s pre-game ritual is deeply emotionally destabilizing. Like, we’re talking serious repercussions
here. If a player is unable to complete their
sacred ritual, there will be hell to pay.Just as famous as Crosby’s famous pre-game plate of spaghetti,
or Jack Zimmerman’s pre-game PB&J, is Snowy’s pre-game application of eyeliner. It is not only essential to his game play; it
is essential to the current alignment of our space-time continuum.Which brings us to Snowy, currently in the throes of an
emotional breakdown, in seat 15C on the Falc’s bus, clutching desperately to
his last remaining tube of La Nuit, Nior
de Nior eyeliner as though it were the cooling body of his only son.Snowy, wrapping his arms around Jack and squeezing the life out of him: “I’m keeping this one forever.”
Tag: i love my sons
jack is… trying
So like, in line with “chirping and flirting are variations on the same idea”
Bitty came over to the Haus to bake a lot as a freshman. The Haus is full of tall people. So he is FOREVER trying to reach something put away by a mutant human/musk-ox hybrid (sorry Holster but it’s true) and often has to resort to climbing on top of the counter.
So anyway, one time he’s trying to reach something WAY UP THERE and Jack is wandering through and like, “Oh, Bittle is trying to reach the thing,” and just casually plucks it off the shelf and puts it in Bitty’s hand.
And Bitty does that thing short people sometimes do (I’m 5′1″, I know) which is spin around and exclaim indignantly, “I COULD HAVE GOT IT.”
Jack kind of looks at him and shrugs like, okay, you don’t want my help? Takes the thing back from Bitty’s hand, puts it back on the Very High Shelf, and wanders back out of the kitchen while Bitty huffs dire imprecations at his back.
So then one day after checking practice Bitty’s trying to reach something out of the top shelf of his locker, but he accidentally knocks it to the back, so he’s on his tiptoes trying to blindly fish above his head. Jack walks in and stops and looks at him. He doesn’t want to insult Bitty by getting the thing for him, but he does kind of want to tease him a little bit. So he goes over and he puts his arms around Bitty’s waist from behind and lifts him up so he can see in the top shelf. After a second of wrapping his head around this, Bitty gets what he was looking for and Jack lets him down.
Which kind of just becomes That Thing They Sometimes Do, and it’s mostly a Ha Ha Bitty’s So Bitty joke. Though sometimes Jack, um, likes lifting Bitty up a bit. During a celly he’ll hug Bitty so hard it lifts his skates off the ice and that’s just normal, right, just bros being bros. Or he’ll continue the short joke, so Bitty goes to take the remote off the top of the TV and Jack calls, “Is that too high for you, Bittle, do you need me to lift you up,” and Bitty turns around and sticks out his tongue and grabs the remote, and Jack grabs him around the waist anyway, and somehow they are wrestling good-naturedly on the floor, and Holster rescues the remote from the mayhem and turns on the TV while they do it.
Jack, bless his heart, didn’t even realize this could be a sex thing until Bitty pointed it out to him.
what i do is not up to you 