list of weirdly specific things I’ve heard about the raven cycle yet I still don’t know the actual plot and at this point i’m afraid to ask:
blue has absolutely no taste in fashion and dresses like a lamp
she and adam used to date i think
he’s not her soulmate because he doesn’t die
she’s also called jane for some reason??
adam is deaf on one ear
gansey dresses like the meme guy on the sidewalk
noah has been dead for years and loves blink-182
ronan has a bird for some reason??
he also loves a place called the barns and I’m guessing it’s a literal barn but why is it plural??
he only goes to school for latin classes and he drives a BMW
(what kind is apparently irrelevant)
something about him dreaming up magic hand lotion for adam’s fucked up hands
btw his “second secret was adam parrish” is like THE #1 quote about how in love ronan is and for some reason I’m enthusiastic about this moody kid being an actual sap
there’s a lot of cars
adam is associated with the magician and idk if he’s straight up a magician or if this is a tarot reference (I mean somebody in this book deffo does tarot right?)
gansey is an absolute nerd about some welsh king
there’s a guy named henry cheng but do i know anything about him? no
some of them..most of them or at least two of them are sleep deprived and I feel that
adam is a cancer unless someone with a professional opinion (aka someone who read the books and actually knows) can tell me he’s not
The best cover for Bruce Wayne would be dumb carefree playboy who is also Instagram Optimistic, everyday he’s posting a selfie of his smiling at his breakfast with a caption like “it’s a waffle day! #goodvibesingotham #grateful” or a picture of a sunrise with a caption that’s just “wow #blessed”
Bruce Wayne ending up as Gotham’s favoured son because he may be an idiot, but he’s a cheerful idiot, and he donates tons to charity and genuinely loves Gotham and actually, truthfully does put a lot back into the city. And his instagram is a bright ray of sunshine, and honestly there are a lot of people in the city who get surprisingly defensive of their Dumb Carefree Playboy because, okay, sure, every month or so Bruce Wayne falls off a yacht or sleeps with a reporter or whatever. The man clearly never met a healthy coping skill even once in his life.
But as far as news regarding Gotham’s prominent citizens go, Bruce’s ‘scandals’ are so normal that it’s downright refreshing. When a headline has ‘Bruce Wayne’ in the title, you know you’re either going to read some Celebrity Gossip level non-drama, or else something to do with a charity. Maybe he’s been kidnapped again, but that’s only happened a few times. Bruce Wayne news is like the Gotham equivalent to special reports about dogs who rescue their owners from drowning, or raccoons who’ve figured out how to get past the new self-locking garbage can lids.
And there’s something weirdly reassuring about following his twitter. Like, if Bruce Wayne is tweeting about a really neat old tree he just saw, things must at least be sort of alright.
(Meanwhile, Bruce’s social media persona is 100% him flanderizing Clark.)
what if Happy Bruce is kind of a little bit real.
like, it started out as a distraction to keep the media away from batman. but being so dour all the time is exhausting, and he has serious Issues and isn’t really working on them. having this one little outlet where he can just step away from the weight of the world and be happy for a second is a kind of therapy. he needs it.
then there comes a time when he can’t access the internet for a while. he’s trapped in some other dimension or something. but he keeps queueing up these posts, even the ones he knows he’ll have to delete because they’d give something away, because he just. doesn’t feel right if he doesn’t do it.
“roasted iguana for supper again. i think i’m getting good at this! #cooking #barbecue #alfredwouldbeproud”
Hottest of hot takes, Heimdall is literally the only competent Asgardian, he’s the only one, he’s the entirety of the functioning government
Don’t forget lifelong helicopter parent to two spoiled princes, resulting in their favorite tactic of yelling beseechingly at the sky whenever they want to nope out of a situation.
#HeimdallforPresident
shadowhunters killed off their main villain and their main male protagonist both in the same episode goddamn what a power move
one thing that makes me sad about startrekverse is that alongside genuinely utopian things like “in the future there will be no poverty or hunger or crimes or illness” there is also “in the future there will be no religion” like what is this a john lennon song. i am sending you my least amused face
it saddens me that apparently a utopian future involves “”transcending”” religion which apparently universally and inherently holds humanity back?? whaaat. give me a break
i dont want to imagine a utopian SPACE FUTURE which has no, like, hijabi starfleet officers, or space rabbis bickering about what counts as “sunset” when you are on a space station. or what counts as “friday” for that matter
BUT MOST OF ALL
I DONT WANT TO IMAGINE A SPACE FUTURE IN WHICH EVERYONE DOES NOT VALIANTLY PRETEND THAT THERE IS NO ONE HOME ON THEIR STARSHIP WHEN THE MORMON MISSIONARY PODS COME BEETLING BY WITH THEIR DIGITAL PAMPHLETS
AND I AM WILLING TO BET THAT YOU DONT WANT TO IMAGINE THAT EITHER
i was nodding along all serious and then my tea came out my nose
“Captain, we’re being hailed”
“On Screen”
“Hello Captain, this is the Mormon Faith Ship Joseph Smith, have you thought about letting Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ into your life?”
“…You have reached the holographic life size double of Captain Pipistrellus, please leave a message after the beep. Um… beep?”
I just had a vivid mental image of a Star Trek AU where the Borg have successfully
been
pacified by converting them to Mormonism, and now instead of forcibly assimilating entire worlds into the Collective, they just loom ominously and hand out explanatory pamphlets outlining the spiritual benefits of joining the cyber-Mormon hive mind.
Magnus: I can’t believe you gave Simon a job because you wanted him to stay, what the hell is an Interim Chapter President Advisor? Is that even a thing?
Raphael, with a smug look: What the hell is ‘Virgin Shadowhunter Energy’? Is that even a thing?
Magnus: Why did I adopt you?
what i do is not up to you 