books-and-shadows:

Slytherin won the house cup 6 years in a row before Harry started Hogwarts and then Gryffindor kept winning after that and I just find it really unrealistic that in 11 years Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw never won it once. If the teachers award house points just for answering questions correctly in class, it seems strange that the house that values intelligence and the house that values hard work above everything else never got enough points to win the cup at least once in all that time

Severus Snape was blatantly biased in favor of Slytherin house when giving and taking away points. We have seen that McGonagall, Sprout, and Flitwick were all relatively impartial in this regard, so the Slytherins had a massive advantage over the other houses for the six years before Harry came along. Of course after Harry arrived, Hogwarts lowkey fell to shambles and the following seven House Cup competitions had weird shit affecting their outcomes- time travel, international wizarding competitions, a literal takeover by Death Eaters, and so on. Additionally, we see point inflation occur over the course of the series- Harry, Ron, and Hermione dealing with the Sorcerer’s Stone earned them 50/60 points each while the very next year their tomfoolery with the Chamber of Secrets earned them 200 points each. The points are completely arbitrary. 

The House Cup competition hasn’t been fair for a long, long time, and that’s why it’s been dominated by Slytherin and Gryffindor.

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

little-bloodied-angel:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

chaoswolf1982:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

little-bloodied-angel:

holy-crap-someone-finally:

potter-snitch:

image

Credit to the amazing artist “George Rottkamp”

THE GOBLET THO

I am so bitter lmao

DIDYERPUTURNAMEINDAGOBLETUVFIIIIRRREEEEEEEEEEEE

– Me, asking you a question calmly

To be fair, the eyes thing has a fully-legitimate answer.

Daniel Radcliffe was allergic to the colored contacts he was supposed to wear, causing dryness and itching after just a few minutes of use, so the film crew decided it wasn’t important enough of a detail to bother with if it was a burden for him to wear..

Huh…

I HAVE LEARNED SOMETHING

WITH THE CGI BUDGET THEY HAD THEY COULD HAVE
OR AT LEAST MADE LILLY’S ACTRESS HAVE BLUE EYES
*foams at the mouth*

They could have made this work damn it! O.O

moonprincess92nz:

That One Time I Fell In Love 
(and other impossible things

By Moonprincess92 

“The name is Fred
Weasley (THE SECOND, BITCHES) and I am awesome. No, really, hang with me and
I’ll show ya a good time! I like hot chicken wings on a Friday night, hot
coffee and hot girls (not necessarily in that order). I will admit that I
occasionally set things on fire and have once jumped out of a window onto a
waiting broomstick. My dad is ginger, my mum is black, and I’ve got brown skin
somewhere in between. Crazy also tends to run in the family. I subscribe to
about six different magazines, none of which I even read, and once I broke both
my legs after juggling flammable objects next to a display of explosives. I
like a drink, I like meeting new people, and this is a story about that one
time I fell in love … and, y’know, other
impossible things.” 

youcantbsirius:

wizardingheadcanon:

kyraneko:

elidyce:

thatgirlonstage:

fuckyeahdeathlyhallows:

sirlestrange:

#that is a human as a rat as a cup

That was a long 12 years for Wormtail.

Can you imagine how differently their lives would’ve gone if Ron, in trying to transfigure Scabbers, had actually transfigured him back into a human?
Just take a moment to imagine McGonagall’s reaction if Peter Pettigrew had abruptly appeared in her classroom from Ronald Weasley’s rat.
Take a moment.

Or if Ron had fucked it up a little worse and couldn’t get ‘Scabbers’ back and McGonagall had take him to disenchant him and next thing we know there’s a naked Peter Pettigrew sitting on McGonagall’s desk and the kids in that class learn six new swear words, a hex they will never dare to use, and a fear of Minerva McGonagall’s wrath that will be with them until the day they die.

Ten and twenty years later first years are being pulled aside and warned never mess around in Transfiguration seriously the last time a kid mucked something up in that class Professor McGonagall used two semi-legal hexes, took down a Death Eater and sabotaged the rise of the Dark Lord before Potter had time to get his wand out.

What most of Hogwarts learned first on that otherwise-unexceptionable day was that Professor McGonagall could sure scream loud.

Professor Flitwick’s Charms 5th-year Charms class was close enough to catch the full effect, and the door had been left open besides; en masse the students recoiled with shock and a miscast Hiccuping Charm broke one of the windows (out which the entire flock of ravens they were practicing on escaped to the Forbidden Forest where they only had to worry about centaurs, rather than annoying young humans with wands).

Up in the Divination Tower, Sibyl Trelawny preened over her foresight to have warned her students of an unprecedented catastrophe likely to occur before the hour was out.

Out in Greenhouse Five, a NEWT-level Herbology class looked up in puzzlement, and most of them were subsequently bitten by the Venomous Tentaculae they were attempting to propagate. It does not do to ignore a Venomous Tentacula when you’re prodding at its intimate parts with a cotton ball held in tweezers, so the class was cancelled while two-thirds of the students headed for the infirmary and the rest of them headed into the castle because if they stayed with the Venomous Tentaculae they’d be outnumbered, and nobody wants that.

And down in the dungeons, Professor Snape turned away from comparing Lee Jordan’s Pepper-Up Potion to spoiled cream at what sounded like a woman screaming from the entrance hall. At the second scream, he ordered the class to remain where they were and behave, sweeping out of the room just in time to miss Theodore Nott suddenly jumping up and yelping as if someone had put a crocodile heart down the back of his robes.

Fred Weasley stepped back from the unfortunate Slytherin, shared a smirk with his twin, and stuck his head out the door to make sure Snape had rounded the corner before leading the way out of the classroom.

Back in the Transfiguration classroom, about four minutes ago, it had started innocently enough. Ron Weasley, possessed of a broken wand and a lurking suspicion that most of the family’s magical talent had been soaked up by his siblings before he was around to get any, had attempted to turn his pet rat, Scabbers, into a teacup.

Scabbers had not become a teacup.

Scabbers, blast his useless furry little backside, had become a furry, vaguely teacup-shaped monstrosity out of which absolutely no one would have been tempted to drink, and to make matters worse, he still had a tail.

It was moving.

Harry was hiding a smile behind his hand. Dean and Seamus weren’t even trying to hide, elbowing each other and laughing. Parvati and Lavender were looking with disgust and horror at either Scabbers or him, and Hermione was opening her mouth, no doubt ready to tell him exactly what he’d done wrong.

Which only made it worse that he really thought he’d done everything right this time.

He snatched Scabbers off the desk (eww, the base of the cup had the same texture as rat feet) and turned away from Hermione. He made the wand movement again, picturing in his mind the way McGonagall had demonstrated it. “Erreverto.”

“Erreverto. Erreverto. Erreverto.”

It didn’t work. It didn’t work when Professor McGonagall stopped by and gave Hermione two points for Gryffindor for getting the spell perfect in both directions. It didn’t work when Harry made his successful transfiguration (Ron looked; the pattern was a little bit furry but it was definitely a teacup). Ron’s lips formed the shape of a word that would’ve made his mother box his ears had she heard it and attempted the reverse transfiguration, which didn’t work either.

Finally, faced not only with the indignity of failure but the threat of Scabbers being stuck like that, he’d gone up to Professor McGonagall’s desk.

“Um, Professor?”

Professor McGonagall looked up from the paper she was grading and looked from him to the squirming teacup. “Problems, Mr. Weasley?”

“Um, yeah, Professor. I can’t get it to work in either direction and it’s not fair to Scabbers to make him stay as a teacup just because I can’t do a spell right and can you maybe … ?”

“I suppose so, Mr. Weasley,” she said, and waved her wand in the exact manner Ron had been doing all along.

Nothing happened.

Professor McGonagall looked very, very puzzled.

“Now that’s odd,” she said softly.

As one, the other students rose from their seats and quietly moved closer.

She did not attempt the transfiguration in the other direction. Instead, she made a complex motion with her wand and murmured an incantation that possibly only Hermione recognized. The teacup squeaked. Professor McGonagall looked more puzzled than ever, and made a sweeping wand movement that ended with a sharp jab and uttered, “Arcanum finite!”

And there was a loud bang, and there was a pale, pudgy, and very naked man sprawled out on her desk, and she jumped back hard enough to knock her chair into the wall and screamed.

Having taught a particularly rigorous course of magical study to children and teens for quite some time now, Minerva McGonagall had become accustomed to certain things. Students who didn’t listen. Students who did rude things to the mice when they thought she wasn’t looking. Students who accidentally turned a frog or a raven into a flock of starlings or a school of strange slimy South American fish (and tried to solve the immediate problem by filling the classroom with two feet of water, neglecting to consider the gap under the door). Students who tried to transfigure their noses into a more appealing shape and wound up in the hospital wing regrowing their nostrils.

Naked men on her desk was something Minerva McGonagall had never had an occasion to get used to. What made it worse was that she recognized this one, and he’d been dead for more than a decade.

Inferius! was her first thought, followed shortly thereafter by Animagus, which collided with Peter Pettigrew! and produced the utterly horrifying thought of what if all four of them were Animagi? which didn’t bear thinking about at all, so her brain jumped to if he wasn’t killed by a Dark Wizard then why didn’t he say so? and realized there was only one possible explanation why, and about that time her eyes registered that parts of Peter Pettigrew she really doesn’t want to know about were flopping about in front of her face, and she was screaming as she jumped back.

The flow of invective which followed somehow failed to surprise her one bit. Some part of her registered, peripherally, the shocked faces of her students, but most of her attention was directed at Peter Pettigrew, who at very least faked his own death and at worst framed Sirius Black and if Black didn’t betray the Potters then who … did. And the words poured out of her, filthy English and filthier Latin while Pettigrew squirmed on the table, his face rage and guilt and fear and something shifty and contemptible, and he turned to look at the stunned students and lunged for Ron Weasley’s wand.

Severus Snape had reached the Entrance Hall by the time the scream died away and the invective replaced it. He almost smirked, amid the alarm; of all the things he’d never expected to hear from Minerva McGonagall … he took the stairs two at a time, still not noticing the students who followed.

He did notice the Herbology class, which had stopped on the way to the Infirmary and were staring transfixed in the direction of the Transfiguration classroom, but pushed his way through them, getting Venomous Tentacula pollen all over his robes in the process.

From the other end of the corridor came Professor Flitwick’s Charms class, with Professor Flitwick bringing up the rear and pushing his way between students.

Ron looked stunned as the man who’d been his pet rat snatched the wand from his hand; Professor McGonagal’s expression shifted to one beyond fury and when the entire class recoiled, it wasn’t from the naked man with the wand.

Laedo!“ Minerva McGonagall roared.

Ron Weasley’s wand cast a Splintering Curse many years beyond its rightful owner’s abilities, and it did Peter Pettigrew the poor favor of eliminating the door, which might have slowed him down a bit.

Severus Snape flailed and skidded to a halt as the Transfiguration classroom’s door shattered. He stepped back just in time, and stared, jaw dropped in shock, as a naked man he recognized from his school days flew past him and bellyflopped against the wall, bounced, and collapsed to the ground just in time to avoid the “Exitium!” which followed and vaporized an impresive chunk of the castle’s stone wall.

Fred and George and Lee Jordan, determined to stay at the front of the crowd, had been pushed almost against Professor Snape by their fellow Potions classmates and some pollen-coated Hufflepuffs. Fred squirmed aside hastily as Professor McGonagall appeared in the doorway, the look on her face so utterly livid that Professors Snape and Flitwick both reflexively stepped back.

Snape tripped over George’s foot and fell against a knot of Hufflepuffs, releasing another cloud of pollen and knocking them backwards. Pettigrew saw his opportunity and took it, scrambling to his feet, stumbling sideways, and launching himself towards the gap.

And Minerva McGonagall made a thrust with her wand and said, “Perdo.

In the very loud silence which followed, Filius Flitwick squeaked, “The Splinching Charm, Minerva?”

She might’ve looked embarrassed for a moment, and then she smiled as she looked down at Pettigrew, who lay on his belly, his arms and legs lying akimbo some distance away.

“Unorthodox,” she said, “but useful in a pinch. If someone would inform the Headmaster, and send an owl to the Ministry—-not Fudge, not Crouch, someone competent—-Shacklebolt, perhaps. Students, return to your classrooms, please. Mr. Weasley, I’m very sorry, but I do believe it’s impossible to return you your rat. However, the zero I was going to have to give you for the day’s work is entirely undeserved, as you were not transfiguring a normal rat. You may make the lesson up any time this week.”

The story was, of course, much embellished by the time it reached all the students. Versions of it had the intruder peppering Snape with a Glitter Hex or transfiguring Ron’s rat into a pair of boxers, and people had to be disabused of the notion that it had been Voldemort who’d been hiding as a rat all this time.

Snape gave both Weasley twins detention for tripping him, and took forty-seven points total from Gryffindor over the next few weeks for various pretend-subtle pollen references.

Kingsley Shacklebolt showed up with a team of Aurors in time to meet Professor Dumbledore; the Wizengamot launched an investigation into the events surrounding the Potters’ murder; the results turned into a scandal which saw the release of Sirius Black and the forced resignation of both Director Bartemious Crouch and Minister Cornelius Fudge. Director of Magical Law Enforcement Amelia Bones was confirmed as Minister of Magic shortly thereafte, and the Daily Prophet reported that Sirius Black (“Godfather to the Boy-Who-Lived!” “Framed, Abandoned, Condemned to Living Hell!” “Heart-Wrenching: His Release In Pictures, Page 17!”) was considering applying for a teaching position at Hogwarts, “but just for a year, I’ve been cursed enough for one lifetime.” (“The Prophet reminds its readers that the so-called “curse” on a certain Hogwarts teaching position is almost certainly a mere string of coincidences.”)

And, Minerva thought with relish some months later, it was almost three weeks before anyone attempted messing around in her class.

A personal record.

I’ve probably reblogged this before but I’m going to do it again right now

THIS IS SO GOOD

Shared house traits

moonysgoonies:

Gryffindor & Hufflepuff
-sweet summer child
-close, intimate, heartbreak mending hugs
-giggles “that’s what she said”
-likelihood you’ll fall in love with them +9999999%
-probably still owns a stuffed toy

Ravenclaw & Slytherin
-already wrote an encyclopedia on all the ways they’re better than you
-judging you not-so-silently
-“my words are both poison and exilir. tempt me, if you dare.”
-intimidating at first bUT THEYRE ACTUAL CINNAMON ROLLS
-“aw you didn’t have to do that!-…what do you want?”
-too many trust issues, someone just HUG THEM

Gryffindor & Ravenclaw
-already stalked you on all your social media accounts
-board games. video games. gaaames. 
-always has a mess. somehow knows where everything is. 
-BUSY. friends, hobbies, school/work, internet til 2am, busy.
-PUNS

Slytherin & Hufflepuff
-knows who they will search for first during the apocalypse
-“i trust you with my life. don’t let me down”
-literally gives the best first impressions
-it’s actually a little scary how much they could be hiding
-work, work, work, workwork

Hufflepuff & Ravenclaw
-“god you’re so fucking weird and i love it”
-that friend who never yells at anyone until they do and everyone is terrified
-my otp is better than yours
-“rules were not made to be broken unless i say so”
-happier when all is peaceful and quiet

Gryffindor & Slytherin
-“NO I WILL NOT CALM DOWN YOU CALM DOWN”
-that friend that shares all the hot selfies they find. (bless them)
-has never made a good decision after 2am
-*loses something* *blames it on you* *finds it 2min later with their stuff*
-selfie game too strong

the-griffin-and-the-lost-boy:

whoopsrobots:

It’s been literal years and I’m still not over Snape’s cloak-shrouded ass for asking an eleven year old muggle-raised kid the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane in front of the everyone on the first day. You want to know the difference? There is no fucking difference. They’re colloquial terms for the same fucking plant. He just wanted the intellectual upper hand over a goddamn little kid. “Haha, trick question”, so clever. you oily bag of tits

#did sirus write this

lunalovevgood:

andersbae:

gingersnapwolves:

perfectparamour:

fastpacedfreefall:

ave-aria:

scaredpotter:

the slytherins making a drinking game where they take a shot every time draco malfoy talks about harry potter

Madam Pomfrey banning the drinking game the very next day, after 90% of Slytherin house is admitted to the hospital wing with alcohol poisoning

#She drags Albus Dumbledore down to the hospital wing to show him the damage#Slytherin classes have been cancelled for the day as nearly everyone is here#too drunk to function#most are silent#but a few will occasionally look off into the distance with a sneer#and under their breaths#in the most disdainful and haughty voice they can manage#will mutter#POTTER#causing a fit of giggles to ripple through the room#Dumbledore agrees to ban the game and makes the announcement at dinner that evening#the only Slytherin in the Great Hall at that time is#of course#Malfoy#who turns red and immediately mutters that obviously this is Potter’s fault#Snape takes a shot#Harry Potter (x)

Oh my god it got so much better.

Snape takes a shot

Oh my god

@supersealmcgarrett