GIR World by Moonprincess92
Harry Potter. NextGen. Romance. Ridiculousness. Shakespeare. Drama. Love.Getting it Right
Ok, this argument is
getting a little out of hand.Conclusion to Getting it Right
If there’s one thing
the Weasley’s know how to do, it’s have a good crisis!When James Met Libby
Don’t flirt with her?
Yeah, that sure as hell didn’t happen.That One Time I Fell In Love
… I think I am, what
they call, up shit creek.
Tag: hp
ok my dashboard is dead i need to follow more folks and i want more omgcp fic, malec fic, avengers fic, and harry potter fic on my dash reblog if this describes yourself
That One Time I Fell In Love
(and other impossible things)“The name is Fred
Weasley (THE SECOND, BITCHES) and I am awesome. No, really, hang with me and
I’ll show ya a good time! I like hot chicken wings on a Friday night, hot
coffee and hot girls (not necessarily in that order). I will admit that I
occasionally set things on fire and have once jumped out of a window onto a
waiting broomstick. My dad is ginger, my mum is black, and I’ve got brown skin
somewhere in between. Crazy also tends to run in the family. I subscribe to
about six different magazines, none of which I even read, and once I broke both
my legs after juggling flammable objects next to a display of explosives. I
like a drink, I like meeting new people, and this is a story about that one
time I fell in love … and, y’know, other
impossible things.”
if you read cursed child and said to yourself “wow that scorrose was lazily shoehorned in and i feel cheated” then GO READ GIR-VERSE!!! you can find the first story in this verse here, click on the link to enjoy a fun rom-com of a fic featuring repressed emotions, bickering, and SHAKESPEARE IN HOGWARTS!
Harry Potter AU where Harry is hiding in the cabinet in Borgin and Burkes. And he sees Lucius grab Draco with his cane. And he hears the hiss, “What did I tell you?” And he hears the quiver in the blonde boy’s voice, “Don’t touch anything.”
And Harry knows.
Because he’s used the voice that Draco uses for the past twelve years.
He knows.
Because now that he’s lived with the Weasleys for over a month, he knows that that’s not the way that a father’s voice should be.
He knows.
He’s heard Vernon use that voice over and over again, day after day, year after year.
And he knows.
And he acts.
Because really other than being a spiteful little git, at this point, Draco really hasn’t done anything to truly harm Harry. And Harry’s twelve. He’s still young, still innocent, easy to forgive, easy to let his “saving people thing” get the better of him.
He doesn’t do magic. Not really. At least, he doesn’t mean to. Well, he does. But he tries to stop himself. Though it’s not a very good attempt. Either way, the jars on the shelves all shatter, their contents falling onto Lucius’ head.
And Harry bursts out of the cabinet and he grabs a very startled Draco’s hand and he pulls him out of the shop. And they’re running down the dark, grim, streets. And it’s not long before they get lost since Harry doesn’t even know where they are, let alone where they’re going.
But Draco knows exactly where they are and so he tugs Harry down a road and around the corner and suddenly, they’re in Diagon Alley. And Harry’s shocked and confused because how could such a terrible place exist next to such a wonderful one?
But they don’t have time for that now because Lucius is charging after them, green spells bursting out of the end of his wand. And Draco lets out a scream and Harry (bless him) wonders aloud what kind of spells the green ones are.
And Draco is tugging his arm so hard that he thinks it’s going to come out of his socket. And the boys run as fast as they can, pushing through the crowd, and Harry’s probably apologizing and Draco’s screaming at him to move and apologize later.
And Harry sees the mob of red heads and he’s screaming for their assistance.
Fred and George spot him first, right as their mother is asking, “Where on earth could Harry be?”
“Found him,” the twins say.
Gasps. Screams. School supplies tumbling to the ground.
And Arthur and Molly, oh Arthur and Molly, veterans of the original Order of the Phoenix, drawing their strength from parental love, they don’t even hesitate. They grab Harry and Draco and Ron and Hermione and Ginny and Fred and George and Percy and they shove them into the nearest shop.
And the kids are all huddled together, Percy and the twins standing in front of the younger ones, and it’s Ron who manages to whisper, “What’s Malfoy doing here?” Before Hermione stomps on his foot.
And the duel!
The duel is fantastic.
Arthur and Molly verses Lucius.
Just close your eyes and imagine.
And soon Arthur is able to summon other Ministry workers. Including a strange looking man with a strange eye, a man whose skin is slightly darker than Hermione’s, and a girl with bright pink hair who is barely older than Percy.
The battle’s over before it even begins. These strange new people grab Lucius and Apparate away and of course he’ll buy himself out of trouble in no time but at least the immediate threat is gone.
Gilderoy Lockhart timidly steps out and squeaks that it’s a shame that he wasn’t there to stop the duel, that he knew just the hex that could have finished it.
The crowd falls into the streets, praising Arthur and Molly who are quite flustered by all of the attention. Fred and George are clapping their parents on their back, doing a sort of chant. Ron is bragging about how he managed to get a shot in (he hadn’t). Percy is excitedly talking to his father about the legal procedures that Lucius will face. Ginny and Hermione are going around, collecting all of the school supplies that they dropped. Ginny finds a rather unusual book but she dismisses it as something that her parents bought and stuffs it into her bag.
And Harry and Draco. Harry and Draco are staring at one another, not saying a word but having a conversation nonetheless.
Molly finally says that they ought to get back to the Burrow, away from this post-battle excitement. The kids all groan but she and Arthur push them back to the Leaky Cauldron so that they can use the Floo. Draco shuffles along, not knowing where else to go. It’s not until Molly gestures towards the fireplace with a smile that he realizes that his life is about to change.
From there…well…I’ll let you think of the possibilities…
I’m sorry but i need the 200k word fanfic on my desk by this evening. Them’s the breaks, i didn’t make the rules, you know.
“this is just what your ego needed, a #1 fan” -lily to james at some point about an adoring, style-mimicking, dad-loving harry probably
- two year old harry calling lily ‘evans’ when he’s in trouble and trying to charm his way out just as he’s seen his dad do. works every time.
- harry continually making sure his hair is sticking up in the exact places james’s does.
- eating his food at supper one item at a time, just like his dad, and in the same order as his dad.
- five year old harry sneaking into his parents’ room at 4am to nick his dad’s wand before heading into the bathroom to use the enchanted razor. accidentally shaving a large strip of hair from the top of his head.
- covering himself in polish from his dad’s broom polishing kit as a three year old so he can polish his own toy broom.
- wanting a puddlemere shirt, but not just any puddlemere shirt, the exact same puddlemere shirt as his dad. lily eventually learns to buy two of everything she buys for james so the second can be shrunk for harry.
- scribbling over the finished daily prophet paper as his father does the crossword in the mornings.
harry tripping all over himself (literally) as he swears he can fit into his dad’s trainers.
- telling his mom he needs glasses and being ridiculously dramatic by running into walls. lily refuses to take him in a/c she remembers the month-long period harry insisted his arm ached but he really just wanted to be like his dad, who had broken it on an excursion with sirius. (she never got the details of that, but when they all finally figured out he actually did need glasses she felt so guilty she let him eat ice cream for breakfast for a solid week.)
- stealing uncle remus’s phoenix t-shirt and rolling up the sleeves and it still hangs to his knees but he doesn’t care.
- of course the assholes have matching socks.
- harry practicing in the mirror for hours to try and perfect that raised eyebrow and smirk thing his dad does.
meticulously cutting holes in his jeans in the exact places where james’s have worn through.
- six year old harry drinking from an adult sized butterbeer bottle just like his dad.
- coming out of his bedroom in his skivvies and he’s drawn seven year old versions of his dad’s tattoos all over his body with a marker from his mum’s stationary set.
- subconsciously gripping his broomstick in the exact same manner his father does.
- he’s nine with the fashion sense of a thirty year old.
- and has the exact same taste in music b/c his dad is ofc the epitome of cool.
- harry james potter who grew up with his father would never have round glasses.
- insisting his dad shrink his old spare set of quidditch robes so they can fit him.
- harry and james in kiss the cook aprons making bizarre taste combination pancake type concoctions for saturday morning breakfast.
- telling his mum she doesn’t have to buy him school robes or hat because his dad’s old robes will suit him just fine.
for the au thing if you have enough time: au where none of the weasleys are in gryffindor (also i really love your writing, its incredible!)
Thank you! Alright, here we go. This got ridiculous. Beware of minor Drarry in a fairly extreme AU situation.
1) The Weasleys are Gryffindors through and true. The fact that they are not in Gryffindor is the fault of the Sorting Hat, who is either throwing a temper tantrum or saving the world.
Look, it’s just… argh… the Headmaster is fucking useless and the Sorting Hat cannot take any more of this fucking complaining.
The student dormitories and teacher’s quarters are moaning about how they’ve NEVER had so few people and are CONVINCED Hogwarts is shutting down. The kitchen still hasn’t shut up about those poisoning attempts during the war; the library won’t shut up about the OBVIOUSLY inevitable second war coming in about twenty years (also something about time travel, but no one is listening); and the gardens and bathrooms and secret passages and all are still terrified about raids and attacks and murder and another horrible war.
Hogwarts does NOT want another war.
Salazar’s Chamber of Secrets, instead of being any help and calming things of course, is still being a smug and elusive bastard. Helga’s Room of Requirement can’t and won’t be of any help either – they’ve been feeling a little ill lately, although they can’t shine a torch on why exactly. And Godric and Rowena’s rooms are just best left to themselves… they’d probably only make it all worse, actually, risk-taking adventurous arses would probably encourage the castle to rebel or some rot.
But the Headmaster, instead of DOING HIS JOB, is just… fuck knows what the Headmaster is doing, honestly. Raising children to the war and letting Marked students run amok left and right, that’s what he did, and letting everything get out of control so that a war could happen in the first place before that. With this man in charge, the library is probably right and they’ll see another war soon enough.
Something has got to be done, the Sorting Hat knows. But what exactly can it do? All it does is sing a bloody song that no one listens to every year and then sends the little brats off to the house they belong to. Then sits on a shelf for the rest of the year, thinking about how maybe that one ought to have been in Gryffindor after all, or how this one’s bad habits wouldn’t have been encouraged if the Sorting Hat had gone with Hufflepuff instead of Slytherin.
…Oh… Hmm… Now… there’s a thought. It’s something the Sorting Hat would have considered impossible before, but… when the safety of Hogwarts is at stake? Taking advantage of the many loopholes Godric left and using a bit of creative thinking and reasoning? Quite doable, actually.
1982 is a year that does not go as expected. Everyone was rather under the impression that things would finally be going back to normal, what with the war being over for nearly a year and the last few trials and outspoken followers being wrapped up and neatly shoved away or under a rug. FINALLY, everyone thought, a stressless year at Hogwarts.
Heads are full of wondering about the greasy-looking git in Professor Slughorn’s seat, not a one suspecting the devious thoughts running through the tanning of the hat in Professor McGonagall’s hand. Yes, there was a Sorting Song about unity and undiscovered depths and things changing now that the war was over, but that was more or less the same as every year and to be expected.
And then the Sorting Hat sends an Avery off to Gryffindor and an Abbott off to Ravenclaw, despite the families’ respective long and prestigious histories in Slytherin and Hufflepuff.
What the actual fuck is happening, no one says aloud, as a Bulstrode goes off to Hufflepuff and a Longbottom cousin goes into Slytherin.
What the fucking shit, no one shouts like they want to, as a couple Muggleborns go straight into Slytherin and the most purist and illustrious racist families get scattered throughout the other houses among half-bloods and Muggleborns like a particularly gleeful punishment.
Bill Weasley, being eleven years old and not entirely aware of the scandal brewing, goes up to that stool and has the Sorting Hat dropped on his head. Actually dropped, out of Minerva McGonagall’s shaking hand. Something is off, his instincts are certain, but what… fuck knows what.
Mmm… chivalrous, of course, the Sorting Hat mumbles more to itself than Bill. Never met a Weasley who wasn’t… and brave, of course, like you’d expect of a Prewett. Strong sense of justice… yes… and no disinclination to standing up and fighting for it… no matter the toil. More straightforward than cunning, though, and no particular ambitions as of yet… and a passion that needs a focus first…. I supposed it’ll have to be…
“HUFFLEPUFF!” the Sorting Hat shouts, thinking on the side, Shame. Would’ve liked a Slytherin Weasley.
Bill doesn’t think much of it at the time. His main concern is that, unlike his parents, his Weasley uncles, his late Prewett uncles… he’s a Hufflepuff. The first Weasley and Prewett not to go straight into Gryffindor in generations, actually. He hopes they won’t be disappointed in him and that yellow and black will be good colors on him.
Well, it’s a change, but he can roll with it.
‘It’s okay.’
I’m trash and wanted this type of ending so bad, okay?
Feel free to reblog, just don’t repost without my permission.
narcissa malfoy was probably the most powerful occlumens in hogwarts history and nobody knew
she literally stood up to lord voldemort and lied that harry potter was dead and i don’t know about you but if i were an evil ruler i would probably want to triple-check that my nemesis was, you know, actually deceased
voldemort had actual doubts about snape
narcissa swans on by without a whisper, without a second glance
narcissa malfoy understood from a young age that she was meant to do only a few things: look pretty, say nothing, and marry well.
narcissa malfoy understood those rules, and she layered her mind with them.
look pretty. wear the most expensive robes. grandmother’s pearls. curl your hair every night. think only of clothes and dimples and the way your hair falls when you flutters you eyelashes at a boy.
say nothing. don’t speak when mother and father are screaming at each other. demurely look down as another boy asks you to dance. retreat into the reading room when your family friends, known death eaters and criminals, pay your parents a visit and speak in hushed voices over tea. think of pretty things.
marry well. marry into a family of your parents’ friends. bear children. wear pearls and look demure and think of nothing but pretty, pretty things, like the way your husband’s hair gleams in candlelight.
masters must learn the rules before they can break them. narcissa learned the rules so well that they wrapped around her; sank into her skin and her mind. they protect her from enemies. they conceal the quick, strategic plots ticking her brain into gear every moment of every day. they hide the calculation of each smile, each movement.
narcissa is so good, so perfect, that no one will ever know.
# I actually have lots of thoughts about this # I think she got away with lying so easily because Voldemort would never have expected her to # I don’t think she even needed to use occlumency # because why would /some silly women/ # /Lucius’ wife/ # ever lie to /The Dark Lord/? # she wouldn’t be smart enough # she wouldn’t be brave enough # she wouldn’t be selfless enough # Voldemort is an absolute idiot when it comes to the things that really matter # ’Houselves children’s tales love loyalty innocence’
#voldy was shocked when he found out his mom was the witch #he assumed his father would be magical
and there you have it.
rb again for that meta, damn
Could you talk about what Lily’s and James’a relationships with any daughters they had would be like?
- Ok so when harry is maybe two they have a girl and call her
bc its sounds fancy as hell and it’s the only name the didn’t remind
sirius of a long lost uncles cousins dog or smth
- Lily buys her lil baby blue outfits and a pink sweater eleanor
wears all the time but then harry gets sad bc HE wants a pink sweater so then
BOTH of them have pink sweaters so one day james comes home in a pink sweater
and suddenly it’s an official family thing everyone had a pink sweater
- Battle of the nicknames bc james and remus wanna call her ‘nora’
for short but lily and sirius are team ‘ellie’ but the war is on and james is
all ‘I helped MAKE this BABY’ and lilys like ‘WELL YEAH OK I CARRIED THIS BABY FOR NINE MONTHS AND THEN
PUSHED HER OUT OF MY ARSE’ and that is it bc what could you possibly say to top
that
- Sirius and remus getting ellie a t-shirt with ‘I HAVE HOT
UNCLES’ on it with sirius’s number written on the bottom
- Sirius and lily having competition to see who can play the
best game of peak-a-boo and sirius wins bc hes sirius black and he was voted ‘biggest
drama-queen’ in seventh year in both the boys AND girls division
- When ellie is two and harry is four they have another girl
calledand she’s honestly the smallest person to exist and remus refuses
to hold her for two whole weeks bc hes afraid hes going to break her
- Remus and james trying to set up the new baby crib without
magic because LILY WE CAN TO DO THIS OK WE CAN DO STUFF WITHOUT MAGIC so they
start and by the end of it its four hours later, remus is hitting wooden bars
againist the window and james is holding two screws in the air and squawking ‘WHERE
DO THESE GO’ over and over
- Eleanor starts muggle school bc lily and james want her to
be able to read and harry potter takes his little sisters hand and leads her
through the gate while she smiles at him bc she thinks hes the best and oh
harry my love
- Rose being super sad bc harry and ellie are at school so
remus comes over and they make scones and she mashes flower in his hair and he
grins at this four year old like she’s golden
- Sirius picking his godson and honorary niece up from school
in a motorbike while wearing badass sunglasses and harry gets so much street
cred while ellie just runs up to sirius and he spins her around and then puts
her down while simultaneously winking at the teacher who won’t stop starring
- Lily and james both try to talk to rose about how she’ll be
starting muggle school and about how she can’t do magic on accident but rose is
like ‘mummy. Daddy. I already know this. Please leave because I am talking to
mr snuggles’ and it turns out ‘mr snuggles’ is a giant rubber snake
- They both leave bc what the actual fuck why does she have
that snake james I told you not to buy that for her she’s FIVE AND WHAT DO YOU
MEAN IT WAS REMUS
- Harry james potter being nine years old and has a crush on
sandy Connors in his class so ellie goes up to her in the middle of lunch like ‘my
brother likes you sandy and he told me not to tell but who cares’ and then she walks
away while harrys like ELLIE NO
- Rose getting through her first three months of school by
doing what uncle sirius told her to. Avoiding boys and making some cool
girlfriends who share their crayons
- Remus, james and sirius trying to have a guys night while
lily’s out with harry and rose and then ellie walks in while they’re playing poker and DEMANDS to learn how to play
and james cannot believe hes teaching his eight year old daughter how to play
poker and she’s actually BEATING HIM
- Sirius tells rose she looks ‘very pretty’ when she’s wearing
a dress to go to Anna Brown’s birthday party and rose kisses him on the cheek
while sirius smiles so wide
- Harry goes off to Hogwarts and james turns on the platform
to find remus, sirius and lily all waving tearily while rosie screams ‘SEND
BACK LOTS OF SWEETS’
- Ellie getting a muggle bike for Christmas and then uncle
remus tries to ride it but he falls in the gutter and then uncle sirius falls
in to because hes laughing so hard
- Lily getting rose to join girl scouts because ‘muggle exposure’
but she gets asked to leave after just one session bc she poured glue into Janice
Martin’s hat after she said that ‘only stupid girls have red hair’ and wow Janice
you fucked up you fucked up bad
- Remus and ellie go school shopping because ellies about to
go to Hogwarts and remus gets her the biggest cat he can find and sirius doesn’t
talk to him for a week
- Ellie goes to Hogwarts and the next day james and rose break
a window while throwing a Quaffle around and rose I won’t tell mum if you don’t
tell mum ok deal
- Lily being a shit cook and she tries to heat up a mince pie
with magic but instead jabs her wand so had she throws it in the sink and vows
never to tell anyone this happened while she pulls her wand out of the drain
- Ellie being twelve years old at Hogwarts and getting the
best transfiguration mark in the entire second year exams and proud fourteen
year old Harry Potter going around saying ‘that’s my little sister’ while james
potter requests special permission to come into the school so he can hold an
awards ceremony which sirius will cater and remus will dj.
- The request is denied so they all just send howlers like ‘ELLIE
WE’RE SO PROUD’ and ‘REMUS CRIED WHEN HE HEARD ELLIE *scuffling noises* SIRIUS
STOP LYING YOU PRICK *kicking sound* ELLIE WE LOVE YOU *muffled swearing*’ and
ellie is just sitting there so embarrassed with her face as red as rose’s hair
- Rose starts Hogwarts and the four of them all go home and
get drunk because ‘all of their babies have left the nest’ and they all get so drunk that lily and james
sing a duet of ‘a cauldron full of hot strong
love’ on the table while remus and sirius wave their wands in the air in unison
and sway
- What losers I adore them
- Fifteen year old harry hears that two kids in his year have
stolen roses’s potions book and by the
time he gets there, fully ready to kick ass, he sees rose kick one of the guys
square in the dick and then stand on tip-toe to jab her wand into the other
guys eye
- Harrys just standing there and someone in the crowd is like ‘who
is that kid’ and harry’s like: ‘that’s my baby sister’
- Harry in Gryffindor, Ellie in Ravenclaw and Rose in Slytherin
- Ellie going home in the summer and she’s fourteen and over
dinner sirius is like ‘got a crush?’ and ellie says: ‘yeah I like Madison Brewer
in my charms class’ and everyone stops for a second and then sirius is like ‘is
she hot’ and ellies like ‘yeah’ and then they high-five across the table and
everyone goes back to eating
- Harry gets together with ginny and rose tells her that ‘my
brother may seem lame but once you get know him you realise he’s ever lamer’
and ellie is just nodding in the background
- Rose throws the Quaffle so hard at the ravenclaw keeper that
she loses three teeth except the ravenclaw keeper is ellie and GET BACK HERE
ROSE IMMA FUCK YOU UP and it’s the first time a quiditch game has ever been
called off because two people had landed and were hitting each other with their brooms
- Harry goes up to 13 year old jake mornan and says ‘I heard
you like my baby sister mate and let me tell you. If you fuck her up, she will
fuck you up’ and jake just nods bc rose is a badass princess and everyone knows
it.
- Harry graduates and sirius gives him the keys to his motorbike
and lily and james are like WE DID NOT DISSCUSS THIS SIRIUS CAN WE TALK TO YOU
IN THE CORNER FOR MINUTE
- Ellie kisses melanie griffin, dominic brewer, Elliot nash, Samantha
tart, parvati smith and tasha porter all in the space of a month. Blair krugar
calls her ‘confused’ and ellie calls herself ‘interested in trying all options’
- And years later there is a photo of when Rosie graduated on
the mantel and she’s smiling and beautiful standing between her dad and sirius
who is doing bunny ears over remus’s head and lily has one arm around ellie and
the other around harry who is bending down and oh they would have had the most
fun in the world bc they loved each other so
- so this turned into a huge thing please send help i am a mess
We all talk about the mother-son relationship between Molly and Harry but barely of McGonagall and Harry
McGonagall
spent hours spying on the Dursley’s and didn’t want Harry to be put in their care- she bought him a Nimbus 2000 with her own money and since it was new at the time, it must’ve cost a lot
- she put Harry on the quidditch
team without checking with Oliver Wood and if it had been another student who was caught flying, they would have been expelled on the spot
- she defended Harry in front of Umbridge “He has achieved high marks in all Defence Against the Dark Arts tests set by a competent teacher”
“Potter. I will assist you to become an Auror if it is the last thing I do! If I have to coach you nightly I will make sure you achieve the required results!”
- when Amycus spat at McGonagall, Harry cast the cruciatus curse on him which worked meaning Harry truly meant it, and when McGonagall called him foolish, Harry replied as if his actions didn’t need explanation
- “The scream was the more terrible because he had never expected or dreamed that Professor McGonagall could make such a sound” when
McGonagall thought Harry was dead
she was one of the first to reach Harry when he defeated Voldemort
what i do is not up to you 