Tag: hp

optimysticals:

timemachineyeah:

saywhatjessie:

tattooedsiren:

gvorgeblagden:

batcii:

how did jk manage to write ootp and not come to the conclusion that the only career w any true meaning for harry james potter was as a goddamn professor at hogwarts like how do u write the da scenes and say “nah he’d want to be a wizard cop”

#just let him dress in warm sweaters and have tea with neville in the staff room and help first years #harry james potter as hogwarts longest serving defense against the dark arts teacher fucking fight me (@batcii)

#but it would be so perfect??? #bc it would help normalize his life so much #like there would just be this generation of kids who are like #‘ugh who cares that he killed the dark lord he gAVE US HOMEWORK OVER BREAK’ #like the beginning of every year there would be the new first years who would freak out a little #but then it would calm down #and most of the students would literally forget #until like clockwork the fifth years would have their history of magic class on the second war #and they’d all show up to DADA looking a little awestruck and everyone would be extra quiet #and harry would give this kind of annoyed sigh—except it’s fake bc he TOTALLY knew this was coming #bc binns is a bro and he totally gives him a heads up every year #and harry wouldn’t have any lesson plans for the day and instead he would just sit at the front of the room and answer everyone’s questions #but otherwise everyone would just be like ‘professor potter!! i can’t get my patronus to work! help me!’ #and like they’d go home at the end of the year or for break and their parents—who ARE still starstruck by harry james potter #would pester their kids with questions#and the kids would just be like ‘merlin i don’t know?? potter’s such a huge dork you should hear him talk about proper wand movements’ #but they would all love him #and he would feel safe and normal and utterly accepted #AND I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE (via @cinematicnomad)

Not to mention it would be an ultimate Fuck You to Voldemort, who put a curse on the teaching position in the first place.

Like, Jo, I don’t want to tell you how to do your job, but COME ON

I already queued this but also, you do this, but still have Ginny become a famous Quidditch player. Imagine the first time Harry gets called “Ginny’s husband” before “the boy who lived” or “the chosen one.” Imagine how fucking pleased he’d be.

Imagine the first time a student comes up to him looking starry-eyed and Harry’s thinking “Oh no” because he doesn’t want to talk about Voldemort or the war but instead this little eleven year old is like “ARE YOU REALLY MARRIED TO WEASLEY FROM THE HOLLYHEAD HARPIES???!?? WHAT’S SHE LIKE?” and he’s like “oh thank god” because he could talk about Ginny all day. 

Yes. Good.

roachpatrol:

ok so what if Harry and Neville got into like this passive-aggressive lie-off regarding what a truly great man Severus Snape was like they got drunk and Harry was like ‘Snape though’ and Neville was like ‘I know right’ and Harry was like ‘what a… what a fantastic bastard. What a guy.’ and Neville was like ‘we should fuckin’ get him like, like… let’s have a funeral. A huge fucking fuck-off sized funeral with like, lilies, and, a marble coffin, and a big statue, an’ crying women, an’ all that shit’ and Harry got whiskey up his nose laughing so hard and he falls off his stool and just wheezes ‘lillies’

and then during the funeral Neville and Harry like spend the whole time trying to give a better eulogy like they keep getting back up after each other are done to try and have another go at it but then they get schooled by Hermione being like ‘for fuck’s sake boys this is how it’s done’ and she goes up to the podium and just bursts into wild banshee hysterics and throws herself across the glistening marble casket, sobbing ‘oh, it should have been me, would to god that it were me, you stallion of a professor’ and all the reporters tear up a little and then go home to pen really fervid biopics on this bleakly noble and tragically overlooked hero of the revolution

anyway like eighteen years later Harry names his kid after Severus and sends an owl off to Neville like ‘your move, mate’ and Nevill pauses in the middle of polishing the giant marble statue of Snape tenderly cuddling an armfull of adoring woodland creatures that dominates like 2/3 of his office to cuss a lot and pour himself another drink

katherinebarlow:

katherinebarlow:

I still laugh when I think about the fact that the Ministry of Magic employs people to come up with explanations for magic-related incidents for Muggles.

I need a mockumentary in the style of Parks & Rec about the Muggle-Worthy Excuse Committee sitting around a table brainstorming excuses as a floating quill and roll of parchment record everything. The Muggleborns on the committee constantly look into the camera like they’re on The Office.

marauders4evr:

“Minerva, you don’t have children…”

When James Potter was caught out of bed, pacing, wringing his hands, because his father was away on a mission (fight me), she had wrapped an arm around him and had escorted him into her office, whereupon she had given him tea and a biscuit, distracting him with talk of Quidditch.

“You don’t have children…”

She was one of the few people (outside the Marauders) who could see right through Sirius’ mask and when she saw him receive the envelope that contained a tiny piece of tapestry, she marched him into her office and told him that quite frankly, she was proud of him for having the strength to leave that horrid house, and that now he could show his true potential and “No, Mister B-Sirius, I don’t think you’ll ever have to worry about ending up in Azkaban because you’re not like them.”

“You don’t have children…”

Before there was a stag, a dog, and a rat, there was a cat, bravely entering the Shrieking Shack to make sure that Remus Lupin was all right. She stayed with him until dawn and sent him chocolate for a week thereafter.

“You don’t have children…”

She knew that Peter Pettigrew was going to cry before he did. She was trained in seeing the signs. And sure enough, he burst into tears, telling her that he might as well be a Squib. And she gave him a biscuit (he took two) before firmly telling him that he had the makings of a great wizard and he had loyal friends to boot.

“You don’t have children…”

She saw the Dark Mark on Regulus Black’s arm. She saw the fear in his eyes. And though he wasn’t one of her own, she still caught him in the corridor and told him that Sirius had spent the morning bragging about how quickly Regulus had captured the Snitch. Two minutes and thirty-seven seconds. It was a record. He interrupted her class at least seven times to talk about it. That’s how proud he was. And there was no mistaking the sparkle in Regulus’ eye, the skip in his step as he walked away.

“You don’t have children…”

She held Lily’s hand as Sirius and Remus fretted over a passed-out James. And with a scream, a push, and a cry, a new baby entered the world. Lily held him first, of course. And then he was passed to her, to hold close. She was the first one to mention that he had Lily’s eyes.

“You don’t have children…”

She protested, loudly, when he was placed with his aunt and uncle. She kept an eye on him at the schoolyard, using a bit of magic here and there to help him escape the bullies. She sent him his first broom. She cried when he caught the Snitch and again when he lay in the Hospital Wing. She did everything within her power to protect him. From jinxed brooms. From an escaped murderer. From a corrupted government. She watched over him for years. She screamed, louder than anyone, when she saw his dead body. And when the battle was over, she was the first to reach him, tears falling down her face. 

“You don’t have children…”

She was there for James’ birth, for Albus’ birth (”Really, Potter, Albus?”) and for Lily’s birth. She came to Sunday brunch and she came to tea. She sent presents during Christmas and birthdays. She knew everyone’s favorite book, color, and food.

“You don’t have children…”

She was always there for him. She always would be.

“You don’t have children…”

She had dozens of children.

Including one very ungrateful son.

montybeth:

pestocat:

If I were a teacher at Hogwarts I would give and take points a lot, but I wouldn’t use multiples of 5.

“Thank you for your answer Emma. 3.76 points to Hufflepuff.”

“But professor, you can’t do that.”

“Shut up Ingo or I’ll take 45.00000001 points from Gryffindor.”

I found my blog from when I was 12 and this is the only good thing on it