the signs as weird little quirks

Aries: imagining what it would be like to fly around everywhere with fairy wings
Taurus: wearing mismatched socks and 3D glasses all the time
Gemini: wearing a party hat to funerals
Cancer: pretending to be a cat no matter how inappropriate the situation
Leo: licking your monitor to try and taste the pictures on the screen
Virgo: yelling at everything, especially inanimate objects
Libra: constantly consulting a magic eight ball for advice
Scorpio: carrying both lipstick and a miniature chainsaw in your bag
Sagittarius: prancing around the house with a “magic” wand even though you know magic isn’t real
Capricorn: buying tons of exotic milk, like milk from cows or horses
Aquarius: putting clown horns on your shoes so you honk every time you take a step
Pisces: getting really confused and disoriented by zodiac posts and not really being sure why

The Signs As “The Signs As” Posts

homestuckisautistic:

unfathomabletortoise:

Aries:

the signs as weird shit they did in d&d

Taurus:

The Signs as Mythical Creatures

Gemini: The signs as cosmic forces aligning against me

Cancer: the signs as blood types

Leo:

the signs and shipping

Virgo:

The signs as color palettes

Libra: The Signs As People The Law Firm I Used To Work For Has Represented

Scorpio: the signs as shitposts

Sagittarius:

the signs as Equius Zahhak quotes

Capricorn: the signs in the 2016 clownpocalypse

Aquarius:

the signs as terrible stage cues from Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

Pisces:

how the signs will die

I cannot BELIEVE

this is a 2x Homestuck ref^2

big-bad-grimbark:

mortharris:

big-bad-grimbark:

mortharris:

big-bad-grimbark:

mortharris:

big-bad-grimbark:

mortharris:

big-bad-grimbark:

i had a really fucking weird dream where homestuck was a musical. like. a Broadway musical. and i went to see it and all i really remember is that 1) the opening number was called “everybody dies” and 2) bro strider was inexplicably played by shia labeouf, who did an interpretive dance scene with a smuppet that lasted roughly seven minutes. it was uncomfortable for everyone involved

what do you mean “inexplicably” that’s exactly how it would go down

I’m pretty sure snoop dogg was aimless renegade? honestly it was an experience

like the stage was essentially four room in the beginning and every time John would get a notification on pesterChum the particular room of whoever was messaging him would light up and you could see Jade Dave or Rose. when the trolls did their thing (it was early on), you could just hear the disembodied yelling of Karkat. Rose had a dramatic monologue that ended with mom physically pulling her away from her empty suicide threat. bec was just some guy in a fursuit. shia laBro passionately ripped off his shirt before kicking dave’s ass. lil cal was played by Ellen Degeneres(?)

do you have a medium to talk to because the more you talk about this dream the more it sounds like you’re spirit channeling andrew hussie and i’m concerned

don’t get me started about the medium bro

also when the trolls were introduced the lusii were these freakish jim henson monstrosities but honestly the best part was the felt. like. the actual composition of music was beautiful, and the choreography for the dance numbers was sublime.

Dave also kept trying to sing but was continually interrupted by Bro Shia, terezi’s echoing ululations, and his own self doubt. once he finally had his moment his voice soared through the theater, only to come to an abrupt end as he was drowned in hot puppet ass.

now that I think about it, dadbert was definitely nic cage, which was confusing as fuck because John kept talking about how Greatly He Was Caged By Nic while his father stood by. it was uncomfortable

idk man, it’s been like a reoccurring lucid nightmare for the past week, but the sb&hj sequences were performed by acrobats above the actual stage, who looked dangerously inebriated and probably needed immediate hospitalization (they were also narrated by dave and a bunch of dissonant recordings of the cast? what the fuck man. what a visionary)

i honestly don’t know what to focus on here because i’m wheezing and snorting right now but

Dave also kept trying to sing but was continually interrupted by Bro Shia, terezi’s echoing ululations, and his own self doubt.

was dave … was dave’s self doubt an actual part in the play

shIT I thought I answered earlier but apparently not. yes, daves self conscious is just a shitty cardboard cutout of zac efron wearing sunglasses who offers sage advice like “no one loves you”. he’s voiced by zac efron.

yknow I forgot to note this but vriska has a lot of really aggressive musical numbers that make everyone visibly uncomfortable, mainly bc they’re unprovoked and don’t. make sense. like its canon but only to an extent.

also I’m p sure that mom and dad /almost/ share a heartfelt duet–like there’s soft piano music and they look into each other’s eyes–but then Jack noir, fursuit edition, kills them. on that note, when rose goes grimdark it sounds like the Dresden dolls met born this way era lady gaga and then murdered each other while a thirteen year old descends from the rafters, hissing like a motherfucking snake on a plane

btw “sICK FIRES” is a rap off with cello featuring the talents of yo yo ma himself

“#i’m tired” “#why do you keep reblogging this”

because it’s amazing

that’s objective but I’m just happy that people are enjoying this. like the tags are so nice and it feels pretty rad to know people are laughing at my hideous reoccurring nightmare musical extravaganza

FYI there is a track called “flight of the bifurcated asshole/rest in peixes” and y’all know EXACTLY what it’s about

dirkar:

@toykind said: I propose we start naming Dirk’s deaths with misleading porn titles

Just so we’re clear here you’re my enabler and it’s late enough to post this.

ALPHA MALE TAKES THICK SWORD FOR THE FIRST TIME

DESPERATE BLOND LOVES TO GIVE HEAD

VULNERABLE TEEN WANTS IT HOT AND STICKY

SEXY SUBMISSIVE COMPLETELY LOSES HIMSELF

INSATIABLE TWINK LEFT WITH GAPING HOLES

DESPERATE BLOND LOVES TO GIVE HEAD: THE SEQUEL (WITH FRIENDS)