a concept: Harry Potter with his mother’s hair and father’s eyes instead of vice versa.
Harry with fiery dark red hair and soft hazel eyes please and thank you
i imagine this is how harry and draco’s first meeting would have gone then haha
can you imagine how much more confused arthur would have been in that scene where he first meets harry 😂
his eyes would probably sweep right over harry at the breakfast table, and then he would freeze and have to do a mental tally of his children
I can see Fred and George really going with it too…
“Come on Dad, don’t you remember Harry?” “Next you’ll tell us you don’t remember Craig” “Or Ethel” “Or Annie“ “Or Ryan”
philosopher’s stone: (5) three of the five are used by hagrid and an astonishing zero by harry. altogether an underwhelming turnout. (3/10)
chamber of secrets: (6) a good third of the “er”s are a result of lucius malfoy being a dick about hagrid’s hut. not a fan but still a better showing than the first book. (4/10)
prisoner of azkaban: (11) lupin enters the scene and the “er”s double, mostly because he is an awkward prince, but also because malfoy inherits his father’s cute quirk of being a dick to poor people. (6/10)
goblet of fire: (23) the er count skyrockets as harry hits puberty and becomes progressively more awkward. baby boy is growing up and has forgotten how to put a sentence together. also serves as a minor plot point with the sphinx’s riddle in the third task, giving er its well-deserved moment in the spotlight. (10/10)
order of the phoenix: (36) “So — so — they — er — they — er— they actually exist, do they — er — dementy-whatsits?”. excellent. still cannot comprehend what this sentence would actually sound like out loud. (9/10)
half-blood prince: (18) offsets the rising er trend which is disappointing. nothing to report other than harry is still unable to construct a sentence that does not contain ellipses (5/10)
deathly hallows: (8) hp is all grown up and has no need for speech disfluencies. brings a tear to the eye. (8/10)
headcanon that teddy lupin has a little “business” at hogwarts where he will change his appearance to someone and then go do whatever it is that person needs to do. like if someone needs to break up with their boyfriend but are too scared to do it, they’ll hire teddy and teddy will change into them and do it for them. or if they need to go serve detention but the professor is really shitty to that person and they can’t handle it, teddy will go to detention for them so that the person doesn’t have to deal with that professor. or if they are nervous about a date with someone, teddy will turn into that person so that they can practice talking to that person until they feel they can calmly do so. teddy just being a helpful person getting paid in sweets or tutoring or a drink in Hogsmeade
Teddy is not available to serve detentions with Professor Longbottom, who can recognize his mannerisms too well (“Honestly Teddy, your godfather makes that same face.”) or McGonagall, who took one look at him the first time he tried and announced that he could serve his own detention the next night.
James and Lily have been dating for a couple months. It’s like their fifth fight and Lily cannot believe James and she says “are you–” but she catches herself and knows better than to say “serious” because he will make a joke about Sirius so she quick edits to “are you kidding” and he says, without paying attention “he’s Sirius, I’m james” and then he realizes his mistake and he’s not sure if he wants to marry her for knowing him so well or breakup with her because she doesn’t appreciate his puns
In their seventh fight James is pissed to high heaven at Lily for missing his Quidditch match which he did awesome at and yeah she feels a little guilty but she can’t help it that she’s a prefect and if a third year girl is crying and needs a walk to the infirmary lily is gonna help her and James says “you chose a 13-year-old girl over me? Are you serious rn?”
And without missing a beat lily says “he’s Sirius, I’m lily.”
And the entire common room goes quiet like everyone in a fucking dead hush and sirius, years later, tells the story at their wedding as “that was the moment I gave James my blessing to propose”
how did jk manage to write ootp and not come to the conclusion that the only career w any true meaning for harry james potter was as a goddamn professor at hogwarts like how do u write the da scenes and say “nah he’d want to be a wizard cop”
#but it would be so perfect??? #bc it would help normalize his life so much #like there would just be this generation of kids who are like #‘ugh who cares that he killed the dark lord he gAVE US HOMEWORK OVER BREAK’ #like the beginning of every year there would be the new first years who would freak out a little #but then it would calm down #and most of the students would literally forget #until like clockwork the fifth years would have their history of magic class on the second war #and they’d all show up to DADA looking a little awestruck and everyone would be extra quiet #and harry would give this kind of annoyed sigh—except it’s fake bc he TOTALLY knew this was coming #bc binns is a bro and he totally gives him a heads up every year #and harry wouldn’t have any lesson plans for the day and instead he would just sit at the front of the room and answer everyone’s questions #but otherwise everyone would just be like ‘professor potter!! i can’t get my patronus to work! help me!’ #and like they’d go home at the end of the year or for break and their parents—who ARE still starstruck by harry james potter #would pester their kids with questions#and the kids would just be like ‘merlin i don’t know?? potter’s such a huge dork you should hear him talk about proper wand movements’ #but they would all love him #and he would feel safe and normal and utterly accepted #AND I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE (via @cinematicnomad)
Not to mention it would be an ultimate Fuck You to Voldemort, who put a curse on the teaching position in the first place.
Like, Jo, I don’t want to tell you how to do your job, but COME ON
I already queued this but also, you do this, but still have Ginny become a famous Quidditch player. Imagine the first time Harry gets called “Ginny’s husband” before “the boy who lived” or “the chosen one.” Imagine how fucking pleased he’d be.
Imagine the first time a student comes up to him looking starry-eyed and Harry’s thinking “Oh no” because he doesn’t want to talk about Voldemort or the war but instead this little eleven year old is like “ARE YOU REALLY MARRIED TO WEASLEY FROM THE HOLLYHEAD HARPIES???!?? WHAT’S SHE LIKE?” and he’s like “oh thank god” because he could talk about Ginny all day.
what i do is not up to you 