“It would be the Omamori charm,” Magnus said, his gentle voice cutting through darkness and straight through Alec. “It was the first gift you gave me. The first gift anyone’s given me in a long time.“
“Magnus-“ Alec stopped, unsure what to say next. He didn’t realize how much it would hurt knowing that Magnus had thought about which memento of Alec’s he’d keep. That he was aware of the temporary role that Alec played in his life.
Alec closed his eyes, trying to ignore the dull ache of his heart. He wondered if Magnus could hear it breaking with every beat as his head lay across Alec’s chest.
“Your bow and quiver. Technically I do still own them.” The levity of the statement was a sharp contrast to how tight Magnus was gripping his bicep.
Alec clutched at the bedspread, keeping his nails from digging into his palm. His breath was coming out in short gasps, his eyes burning as he fought back tears.
Magnus continued, oblivious to the way Alec had split wide open. “The shirt of mine that you wore the other day.”
So what if I… moved in?
Embarrassment shot through Alec, the sting of rejection still sharp against his skin.
He was so stupid to think he could have this.
“Our photos from that booth in Tokyo.”
A beat as Magnus inhaled, shaking slightly against Alec’s side.
He needed Magnus to stop. Needed to cut off the flood of despair that was threatening to overwhelm them both.
“That tacky mug you brought over from the Institute, the recipe of that awful stew,” Magnus breathed back out, barely a whisper but voice barbed and rough, “and, yes, even that spatula.”
“Magnus-“
“All of those,” Magnus continued, refusing to listen, refusing to let Alec breathe. “All the treasures I keep across the globe, and that box that holds my past. I would give them all up if it meant I would never have to lose you.”
Magnus’ tears burned as they hit his chest.
And Alec, Alec shuddered at the realization that Magnus was just as scared as he was. That while Alec chose to face problems with the reckless courage of a soldier, Magnus was the opposite, letting it percolate like one of his potions and trusting that everything would come together in its perfect time.
It was an issue that would yet to be resolved but he wasn’t alone in his fear. Magnus was still here and Alec wasn’t ready to lose the love of his life.
Alec arms wrapped around Magnus, keeping him as close as possible, letting his own tears slide into Magnus’ hair.
He couldn’t promise forever but he could promise here and he could promise now.
what i do is not up to you 