Any time a reporter asks Kent about the 2009 NHL Entry Draft, he just deflects by expressing confusion that it wasn’t more like America’s Next Top Model.
“It was great to go first, but I thought Tyra Banks was gonna be there. I really worked on my walk, but they cut the runway challenge. Got some great pictures, though.”
20$ says he lost his shit when Tyra tweeted “@kvp91 sorry I wasn’t there. Walk was great. Work on the #smize”
Jack doesn’t think he’ll ever feel comfortable like this, sitting under the glowing bright lights as someone brushes makeup onto his face. Media days are always stressful, even if it’s ones like this – a whole bunch of thirty-second segments, answering questions about his favorite Halloween candy and famous people he wants to meet. He’s spent so much of his life in the press, and he’s still self-conscious about his accent, worried that people won’t understand him. Some days he wishes he could just do all of his interviews in French.
“We’re gonna ask you to read a tweet for this one,” Naomi the production assistant says.
Bitty: HEY Y’ALL.
Last time we wrapped up with the latest installment of the Phelps vs. Bittles
jam war that went down at Christmas this year, but today we need to take a
slight detour from this ongoing debate because we have a special guest.
Bitty adjusts the
camera to Jack, sitting nervously on the other bar stool. Bitty’s camera is set
up in their kitchen at the island, their glass-fronted cabinets in the
background, lit just in a way that reflections won’t be an issue.
Bitty: Mr. Jack
Zimmermann has finally agreed to appear on my blog!
Jack: Hi.
Bitty: Seriously,
honey? Hi?
Jack: Hi
everyone.
Bitty: All right,
I suppose that’s the best I’m going to get out of you. Well, y’all, Mr.
Zimmermann here has just come off an impressive five-game winning streak, three
of which were won in the third period due to his own goals. Unfortunately, the
majority of my viewers do not know anything about hockey, so we need to get
down to serious business. Jack, I have been inundated by questions from my
viewers over the years about what it’s like being married to a baker. Prepare
yourself accordingly.
Somebody with maybe photography knowledge or something, go and write a fic about Jack’s resigned teacher, talking to the rest of the staff about this student in her class who only does assignments on his boyfriend.
“Don’t get me wrong, it’s cute, and he’s definitely inspired, but I know how many freckles this kid has on his nose. It’s getting awkward.”
THEN she finds out they are not dating.
“I don’t understand how he doesn’t see it! Literally. It’s right there, printed and staring him in the face and everything.”
Okay, you ready for some headcanons from someone who knows NOTHING ABOUT ART?? Cause here it comes:
The thing is, Lardo doesn’t set out to be some sort of “patron of the arts.” But she goes to the Olympics at 16 as a Gymnast and wins 4 Gold Medals and then she goes again at 20 to win 5 and, sure, she only wins 2 when she is 24 but the end result is this: She is rich. She has sponsors on sponsors and is famous even aside from the two weeks every four years that people really care about her sport and–
She has too much money, is the point. She has too much and so she decides that she might as well go support some of the arts. she can’t draw a stick figure but she likes art. More specifically, she likes artists. They are very different from the people in the gymnast world. They are chill. Sure, they get stressed but that is like only right before a deadline. The rest of the time they are totally awesome. At least, the ones she’s collected are. You have:
Jack Zimmermann, son of world famous artists, Bad Bob Zimmermann and model, Alicia Zimmermann. Bad Bob is known for his paintings but try as he might, Jack could never quite manage to paint particularly well. For a while he put away all artistic pursuits and figured he would just go into like… accounting. Something boring. Then he discovers photography. And he loves photography and suddenly everything that his parents had tried to teach him makes sense. Angles, lighting, coloring, it all clicks. He is known for taking stunning photographs of historical sites, but also loves nature photography (and once he meets a certain someone, will realize the beauty of love and volunteer his time to do wedding photography…)
Shitty is classically trained. Like, he was put in an art school at age 4 because his parents are those parents (aka they wanted him to be artistic but didn’t want to deal with him making noise as he learned an instrument) and to his personal disappointment, he was very good. He was privately tutored throughout grade school and then sent to an Art Academy for High School and it wasn’t until college that he finally found an art form he truly likes: Web Comics. Shitty put away his paint brushes and pencils and classical training and now writes the webcomic “Fucking Shit, bro.”
Ransom didn’t set out to be an artist but his anxiety constantly had him swiping his pencil back and forth in his notebook and then it also made him realize that the smudges looked terrible on his notes and so it made sense to make them look nice and then suddenly that became a calming mechanism to get everything just so and long story short: Ransom does incredibly realistic pencil drawings. Each drawing takes hours and hours but he doesn’t mind. He calms down when he’s drawing.
what i do is not up to you 