Tag: check please

transcendingintellect:

Maybe I’m overthinking this, but the whole point of fandom is to overthink things. So, imma go for it.

There is a very strong link between anxiety and warmth. One of the symptoms of really bad anxiety is your hands get really, really cold. Like cup-your-best-friend’s-face-and-watch-her-shriek cold. Because the body feels like it’s under attack, thus the blood rushes away from the fingers.

Holding a warm cup of hot chocolate or tea is a really great way to reassure the body that nothing is wrong. It sends a feeling of well-being, of safety.

Now, the fact that Jack sees itty-bitty Bitty as a source of /warmth/……

*whistles off into the sunset*

Check Please HP AU

petals42:

ALRIGHT, so I’ve been meaning to write this one for a while but I have accepted that it not going to happen in full-fic format. So, here, the old “this isn’t a fic but oh wait it’s turned into a bit of a fic” format (a petals classic):

So, the key of a CP HP AU is that, in general, you have to get everyone in the same House because that’s how the quidditch teams work. And a quick glance (I haven’t read them bc I try not to read aus im going to write for fear of transference) tells me that others have done Hufflepuff and Gryffindor but if you know anything about me, you know there is nothing I love more than dismantling the last vestiges of anti-Slytherin prejudice that still lingers in everyone’s subconscious. (*cough* Untamed *cough*)

Basically, I’m going to put everyone into Slytherin. Cuz I can. So here you go, you have:

Jack Zimmermann, son of Bad Bob Zimmermann, a quidditch legend. He played Beater for the Montrose Magpies and is known for creating and coining the term “Scoring Beater” due to his skill at using his beater’s bat not only to control the bludger, but to hit the quaffle through the posts at incredible distances. It starts out as a trick play but turned into a legitimate scoring strategy. Most importantly for our story, Bob Zimmermann was the Captain of the team for his final two years of Hogwarts, won the House Cup for 4/6 years he was on the team, and is generally regarded as one of the finest flyers ever to come out of Gryfindor.

Yes, Gryffindor. Bad Bob Zimmermann was a Gryffindor. In fact, all of the Zimmermanns in the history of Magic have been Gryffindors. 

Until Jack Zimmermann. Already dealing with the pressure of dominating in quidditch little leagues, Jack Zimmermann came to Hogwarts and then in a moment that didn’t quite seem real, the Sorting Hat was put onto his head and screamed SLYTHERIN before it had even finished it’s downward descent. The Gryffinders started clapping before they realized what had happened. The Slytherins didn’t start clapping because they assumed there was some mistake. Some claimed that the Hat must just be a bit tired (it was the end of the alphabet after all) and it made a mistake. It is said that this might be the only time Headmaster McGonagall broke her calm exterior during a Sorting Ceremony and tried to put the hat back on a student’s head.

But, eventually (when the Hat just turned and huffed at McGonagall and the Slytherins finally started cheering), there was nothing left for Jack Zimmermann to do but walk over to the Slytherin side of the Great Hall and plop next to B. Knight, already wondering how on earth he was going to explain this to his parents. Even his mother, who was a Muggle, knew enough about Hogwarts to know that Slytherins were the worst. 

Of course, in the weeks/months/years that follow, Jack Zimmermann realizes that he is, in fact, a Slytherin. Goal-oriented? Ambitious? He is all of those things. And, actually, he is a lot of things from the other Houses as well because, really, what person can be reduced to just three or four traits and isn’t it a bit ridiculous that eleven year olds are just sorted into Houses and then basically conditioned to view themselves in a certain light throughout their formative years and–

Well, wait. We’re getting into Shitty.

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itsybittle:

Everybody, just STOP. Stop whatever you are doing and IMAGINE:

Alicia Zimmermann as the retired hockey legend married to Bob Zimmermann semi-famous actor/model.

First, Jack wouldn’t feel as overshadowed. Instead of being compared to his dad, a lot of the guys in the locker would have made fun of him or said crude things about his mom. Jack gets into a lot more fights in this universe, but he is just as talented.

Alicia knows how to nurture that without making him feel that’s the only thing he’s good for.

Alicia and Jack make fun of Bob’s terrible movies. He played a rookie in an 80’s classic cop TV show, and the two of them know the lines by heart. They spend holidays reenacting the worst scenes, and there’s a game where one of them yells strike a pose and do one of his ad campaigns. Alicia wins every time (she takes this very seriously and that’s how she got banned from two different supermarkets).

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your fave is problematic: jack zimmermann

sufferbot:

sufferbot:

wuqs:

sufferbot:

wuqs:

sufferbot:

  •  “jif” 

my personal headcanon is worse. he doesn’t pronounce it like /dʒ/ in jiffy or like /g/ in gift. no…this francophone asshole says /ʒɪf/ like the s in measure or g in genre. come the fuck on jaques

bitty is properly horrified

you are 100% right and that was exactly what I was thinking… can you believe I literally googled “french gif” and did research before posting this awful headcanon

I’m so glad that I could combine my abilities in French linguistics and check please shitposting

jack: “bitty, how do you post a jif on twitter?”

bitty: (absentmindedly) “I don’t know, I haven’t learned that word yet. What does it mean in English?”

bitty:

bitty: wait a diddly darn second

jack: hey bits look at this mème I found

bitty: honey no

violacakes:

holsters-eyeglasses:

des-zimbits:

holsters-eyeglasses:

Who wants to guess which one of Jack’s hockey uncles gifted him the pool table as a signing gift?

JFC I guess millionaires WOULD think that 500lb of slate was a casual thing to buy somebody.

“Did you hear about Bobby’s boy? He signed with the Falconers”

“Jack? Good kid, I’m glad he finally made it, Bob and Alicia must be so proud”

“Yeah and Providence is a good team. Think I’ll buy him a pool table to celebrate.”

“Great idea. Do you think he needs a TV?”

And this is why jack needed so many bedrooms. Probably at least two of them are full of “unreasonably large gifts from hockey legends”

I’d love a bullet-point or ficlet response, but anything’s fine – you’re a fabulous writer! Anyway, imagine Bad Bob Zimmermann taking to social media like a fish to water. Does he make puns of his nickname on twitter (like posting photos of Jack and himself with #DadBob or announcing good news with #GladBob) or make silly vines? Does he do #tbt stuff with photos of Alicia or his mama? Does he retweet all of Jack’s instagram pics or Eric’s tweets? What’s his twitter response to Jack coming out?

petals42:

Okay, I’m going to tell you upfront that I have no idea what this is going to turn into. This is gonna be stream-of-conscious petals style because we stayed up way too late last night but then i woke up at 7 and thought about this ask and–

  • I think the first thing to realize is that Bad Bob Zimmermann is the most extroverted extrovert to ever extrovert on this mortal plane. Bad Bob probably got into hockey because his parents had no idea what to do with his boundless energy and the fact that he literally never stopped talking ever and hockey (at 4 years old) seemed like a good way to try to work some of that energy out. Failing that, it at least made lil Bobby someone else’s problem for three hours a week (which then became an hour a day, and, look by the time he is like 8, they just let him hang out at the ice rinks the moment school is out because he knows all the staff by name and there is an endless cycle of other kids for him to play with and it’s a good system! sometimes he even sleeps!).
  • And while Jack loves hockey for the game and, largely, to prove himself as an individual (until samwell and bitty), Bad Bob loves hockey for the people. Bad Bob took to being on a team like a fish to water and in peewee hockey, Bad Bob got so many penalties because he kept skating onto the rink to participate in cellys even when he was on the bench. (or in the penalty box! Dear, god, bob, you cannot– yup, he’s on the ice again. dammit.). Bad Bob just loves the feeling of being on a team and the connections you make with your teammates and the connections you make with the other team’s players and– look, part of the reason Bad Bob worked so hard at hockey is because leaving that team environment would kill him. (seriously, i bet bad bob has the worst time adjusting to life after the nhl. alicia is probably so worried.)
  • Anyway, all this to say, that twitter is made for retired Bad Bob Zimmermann. Suddenly, he can talk to people all day long even if he is alone in his house or even if he is stuck at one of Alicia’s formal events and has to listen to speeches. You know how introverts sneak off at parties to read books on their phone in the bathroom (no? that’s just me?) – well Bad Bob sneaks off to reply to tweets (and text in his Groupme with all his old teammates). 
  • Of course, Bad Bob is still pretty freakin’ famous and his constant activity causes a stir and you know how carrie fisher is like the freakin’ twitter queen of the modern day? That’s Bad Bob Zimmermann. He is the Dad of twitter. He retweets funny things about himself and memes and, contrary to popular belief, he is not angling for a commentator or sports analyst job on Sports Illustrated so his filter is literally zero. BBZ is un-ironically the coolest dad ever. 
  • Let’s swing to Jack for a second. And I’m afraid I am going to be HELLA cheesey and talk about those 5 Love Languages. I think perhaps the primary miscommunication between Jack and BBZ is that they are not speaking the same love language at all. Bad Bob Zimmermann is literally all about verbal words of praise. With a side of physical touch. That is how Bad Bob gives love. He is alright with however people what to give love to him (to him, Alicia’s laughter at his bad jokes is love and when Jack takes the time to call him, he glows for days afterwards).
  • However, the conflict is that that is not how Jack Zimmermann gives or recieves love. Jack Zimmermann works that Quality Time lifestyle. He wants someone to barge in his room and sit on his bed (Shitty), he wants someone to study with him for hours even if they are working on different projects (Bitty), he wants someone to sit with him for hours even if they say practically nothing the whole time (Lardo). When Jack Zimmermann tries to give love, gift-giving comes into play, but his natural state is Quality Time.
  • And, unfortunately, that is the one thing that Bad Bob can’t give him. When Jack was growing up, Bad Bob was still away playing for huge chunks of time and then by the time he is retired and home, Jack is playing hockey for hours a day and then on the Q and then before either of them know it, Jack is off to Samwell. 

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beccasbarnes:

Okay, but head canon that Tater starts jogging in the mornings with Jack. Tater hates jogging. Look, he will bike and lift and do whatever else he has to do but he hates running. But Jack comes to the Falcs and everyone is expecting a hotshot diva, bc Jack is being brought in to be the face of the franchise. Except Jack is quiet and a dork, doesn’t speak up outside of practice, ducks out whenever they go out after games. And yeah, maybe he reminds Tater and little of himself, 19 years old and fresh from Russia, broken English and the need to prove himself. So Tater decides they’re going to be friends.

They go on runs three times a week, Tater driving to Jack’s apartment. Afterwards they go up and Jack makes protein shakes. Days they don’t have practice after, Tater goes home and showers, then they meet for breakfast. The rest of the team finds out after about a month and chirp Tater relentlessly, bc they all know that Tater hates running. Jack is mortified, tries to tell Tater he doesn’t have to come anymore but Tater just laughs and is like"it’s okay zimmboni, is good for me, more stamina on ice yes? Also good for you, not run alone and sit sad in apartment after" and that’s that.
Except now Tater complains all the time, and Jack just laughs at him, running faster and making fun of him for not keeping up.

Jack opens up a bit more after that, invites Tater over to play video games. It’s on one of these afternoons, where they drove to Jack’s after practice and have played three hours of CoD and are starving that Tater digs through Jack’s fridge to see if he has anything to eat. He finds a container with pie, a sticky note on it that says “for when you’re missing me xx B ❤

He brings the container out to Jack who kind of freezes and Tater is like “you have girlfriend is why you never come out with us????” And Jack just nods, and Tater declares that he’s a bad friend for not telling him and he gets no pie. Ofc then Jack wrestles him bc that’s sugar crusted apple and like hell he isn’t getting any.

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youputitthere:

mrcrappyknight:

youputitthere:

youputitthere:

man i just want check please! to be adapted into a netflix original and i want it done RIGHT 

i have so many ideas for this ho shit:

  • MOVE-IN DAY//SERIES PREMIERE: all these wide shots of bitty absorbing the pretty ivy league campus and the pretty boys on this campus. a guy hands him his ID and says “the picture you picked doesn’t do you justice” and bitty gets so so blushy and then bitty’s mom pulls him away, cause they gotta go check out the gift shop!!! (boys will flirt with bitty So Much) 
  • juxtaposition of the pretty ivy league campus with the gross frat haus
    • over the course of the season haus gets more homey??? it’s like a subtle change…like the lighting around it gets warmer and it looks generally cleaner
  • bitty’s roommate is a character. he’s a cs major and when bitty comes back from that first team meeting to this guy, he ends up being just. not a huge conversationalist. and bitty’s like “….ok!”
  • later when jack zimmermann starts banging on the door for bitty to come to checking practice the roommate has like. the best afterthought line. i haven’t figured out what it is yet. 
  • since everyone who read the comic already knows how graduation in year 2 ends id draw out the moment between bitty leaving and bad bob’s monologue so that you see the alumni event and then bitty packing in this transcendent montage and you’re like “wait WHAT!!??? WHY ISN’T JACK RUNNING ARE THEY CHANGING TH–” for a little bit 
    • also. ALSO. auditory parallel with jack hearing bitty sing “halo” through the walls of the haus and when jack opens the door, the song is less muffled
    • actually seeing the sunlight through the window as they kiss
  • SEASON 2 PREMIERE – COLD OPEN could be bitty looking at his cellphone as a callback to last season or like his cellphone buzzing with a text from jack on the counter – so we as an audience immediately know that jack and bitty have been keeping up with each other – as he’s getting ready and then jack and bitty see each other for the first time. suzanne’s like “oh i’ll pull out my camera” but they don’t take their eyes off of each other. and then we flash to ransom at samwell asking bitty “so what did you do over the summer?” and then we cut to the theme song cause we all know what who he did 
    • and then the whole episode’s madison and then we cut back to samwell, bitty staring off dreamily, “oh, same old stuff.”
  • i. want. an entire episode called “34 Days” but we need to find kids who look like the 17-year-old versions of the actors who play jack and parse and maaannnnnnnn that’s gonna be tough
  • so some twitter events become episodes (spring c + bitty’s birthday so like ONE HALF of “kiss the ice” basically) but then some comics get consolidated into one episode (i.e. “the closet story”, “parse”, other half of “kiss the ice”, “graduation” and “goodbye for the summer”)
  • at the end of the episode before parse johnson says something like “you know shit’s about to get crazy when it starts in media res”

i got tired of typing but i have More Ideas

*bangs fist on table*
•EPIC KEGSTER EPISODE WITH BEER PONG
•POST CREDIT SCENES FOR EXTRAS
•POP UP EFFECTS FOR WHEN BITTY TWEETS

YES YES I WANNA SEE THE BEER PONG TOO and yes, the johnson line i wrote in the last bullet point was considered with post-credit scenes in mind anD ALSO 

  • hockey shit with r & h is a little short that starts off some episodes and ransom and holster are basically filming it with this low-grade shaky camera and in the butts one they’re whispering behind the camera and just PANNING CLOSER AND CLOSER TO JACK’S BUTT, like zooming in and out to get the right focus but also to get as much butt-detail as possible, and then they pan to the mirror and YOU CAN SEE THE EXACT SECOND WHEN JACK NOTICES AND THEN IT JUST CUTS OFF THE LITERAL SECOND WHEN RANSOM SAYS “i think he saw us” 
  • the pop-up effect happens with texts in house of cards too and one of the ideas i had for the madison ep was just a cold open of jack and bitty texting each other over the summer!
  • in addition to seeing clips of actual vlogs you actually see bitty make the vlogs so in “parse” you actually see bitty walk in his room, set up the camera and press record, and my idea for Women, Food, and American Culture was to have bitty’s voiceover the second after he Realizes and the real-time dialog between jack and bitty is something like 
    • bitty: i uh…i have to go do [lame excuse]
    • jack: oh–
    • [bitty runs upstairs into his room and collapses on his bed] 
  • and then bitty’s voiceover is “never fall in love with a straight boy” wHAM end of episode