goodmorningbeloved:

in an alternate universe, Steve brings Bucky back to the tower for the first time, and the only problem with that is that Bucky passes out before Steve can properly introduce him to the rest of the Avengers. but that’s okay, because when Bucky next wakes up, free of mind control, it’s to the sounds of pandemonium in the kitchen. this is how he learns that there is a Norse god of thunder living there. also, that no one should mess with Nat’s food. (and that Barton messes with Nat’s food, and reinforces the imperative that no one should mess with Nat’s food.) that Dr. Banner eats enough for, like, four people. and, maybe most importantly, that Steve brings plates of food down to his boyfriend.

“wait what,” Bucky says when this comes up within the first day. oh no, he thinks. Steve got a boyfriend and Bucky wasn’t even around to tease him about it?

“that’s wrong,” Clint tells Thor, who was the one who volunteered this information in the first place, “everyone knows zombies can’t eat food.”

“i do miss when Anthony ate with us,” Thor sighs heavily, and Bucky despairs inside. he missed Steve’s first boyfriend and Steve’s first boyfriend’s death? that’s so sad. what kind of a best friend is Bucky now?

it takes him a few days to corner Steve about this. “you got a boyfriend?” Bucky demands, at which Steve blushes and nods. “who?” and that’s how Bucky learns Steve’s boyfriend was Tony Stark, and now Bucky’s missed the demise of Steve’s boyfriend and Howard’s kid and that’s just really, really fucking sad. “is he the reason you keep going to the basement?”

“that’s where his lab is,” Steve says, sounding sad. he’s producing a photo of Tony now. actually, it’s half of Tony’s face, captured in a manic grin while a blurry Steve in pajamas tries to grab the camera in the background. “he’s been away for so long. i miss him.”

damn. that’s really sad. “hey, c’mon,” Bucky tries to comfort, “plenty of other fish in the sea.”

Steve looks horrified at this. “Buck, i’d never!”

oh, no. Howard had a kid and that kid was Steve’s boyfriend and then he died and Steve isn’t even over him yet. Bucky thinks this is the worst possible time he could have been unbrainwashed.

at the end of his first week, he inadvertently suits up with them on a mission, despite Steve’s protests. Bucky pretends he doesn’t see Steve kiss the folded picture of Tony right before they go into the battlefield, like he’s about to help take down this horde of evil robots in his honor. that’s really, really fucking sad, holy shit, how’s Bucky supposed to comfort him through this?

about three fourths of the way through the mission, a man in a metal can joins them. “sorry i’m late!” says its garbled voice. “alarm didn’t go off in time.”

“because we turned it off,” Natasha says exasperatedly as she snaps an evil robot’s neck between her thighs. “can you even walk without the suit right now?”

oh, there’s a man in there? Bucky doesn’t get to ponder it until after they’ve dealt with the evil robot army. then they’re piling back into the quinjet and the metal man’s mask is folding away (fascinating) and Steve is taking him into his arms and kissing him and what? what happened to ‘i’d never!’? and then Steve pulls away and Bucky gets a good look at the man’s face and recognizes it from the crumpled photo Steve tucks into his pocket– “wait i thought you were dead.”

“i don’t understand but i’m offended,” Tony Stark says.

“your boyfriend’s not dead?” Bucky directs to Steve instead.

“Tony’s not dead,” Steve says, aghast. “of course not. why would you say that?”

and that’s how Bucky learns that this whole time, Tony’s been very much alive and just holed up in the lab working on a new arm for him, and that Steve was, in fact, not taking meals down to the lab because he wanted to feel close to his dead boyfriend’s spirit, but because he wanted to eat with his alive boyfriend. “so you just carry his picture around even though he’s not dead?”

“that’s a perfectly normal thing to do,” Steve defends.

“you kissed it like he was dead and you were thinking soon i will join you, my love.”

Steve goes scarlet. Tony preens and goes all, “aw, babe.” then they’re making out and Bucky’s somewhat horrified because he’s been so preoccupied thinking about Steve’s boyfriend being dead that he hasn’t spared a thought about how awful it might be to witness Steve and his living boyfriend’s disgusting love in real life. but hey, Tony’s really not that bad and he makes Steve happy, and Bucky gets a free arm out of it. (with which he punches Clint because it was totally Clint’s fault that he believed Tony was dead to begin with.)