Don’t
let my mocking tone in that post fool you. I adore Mr. Darcy with all my heart,
I merely object to the way he’s popularly associated with the image of this perfect, brooding hunk,
when really he’s just a socially awkward loser.
Okay,
okay, so our first introduction to Darcy is at a ball, where he:
Doesn’t dance
Can’t make small talk
Is generally rude and embarrassing
Stands awkwardly in the corner the whole night
Decides he might fancy this one girl, so he
insults her.
Loudly.
Where anyone could overhear.
Including the girl.
Gets roundly insulted to his face by said girl, and his
reaction is ‘…damn.’
Later on, he gets to know this girl a bit better. He warms up to her, and starts to act a little less like a standoffish jackass.
Then
comes the infamous ball where the entire Bennet family, except for Jane and
Lizzie, embarrass themselves. He convinces Bingley not to marry Jane because it
would degrade him.
MONTHS
pass, and Lizzie meets Mr. Darcy again. She finds out that he separated Jane and
Bingley and she is SIMMERING with resentment. Darcy, on the other hand, (who
must have been pining over her and doodling ‘Mrs Elizabeth Darcy’ in his
notebooks all this time) decides this is the perfect time to propose marriage.
He BURSTS into her house, completely unannounced, ignores her chilly reception,
then makes awkward small talk and wanders around in agitation. Finally, he
confesses that he loves her, against his better judgment, and insults her and her
entire family before standing back, quite pleased with himself and convinced that she’s going to accept
him.
But
she doesn’t.
She
lets him have it. She tells him how much she loathes him and exactly why. He is
stunned. Mortified. No one has ever spoken to him like this. He’s quite used to
getting everything he wants, and this just shakes him to his core. He stands there
for a while with a face like a slapped arse, then, unable to defend himself, he slinks away with a haughty goodbye and goes off to wallow in shame and resentment.
And
then.
THEN.
The
next day Lizzie is walking around the grounds and Mr. Darcy finds her. Has he
taken this time to compose himself so he might talk to her and explain himself
better?
No.
He
wrote a letter. He wrote a fucking letter. He probably spent all night
agonising and poring over this thing. Then he skulked around the grounds ALL
MORNING in the hope of finding her. His exact words: “I have been walking
in the grove some time in the hope of meeting you. Will you do me the honour of
reading that letter?”
And
he shoves it in her hand.
Then
he runs.
RUNS.
(Darcy
you fucking walnut.)
Lizzie
reads the letter, and of course it’s beautiful and eloquent and it says
everything he’s too socially inept to say to her face. It radically alters her opinion of him.
In response to her criticisms, Darcy
really does make an effort to change
his manners. He was never a bad guy – it’s obvious how much he loves his friends
and his baby sister, and Lizzie too, he just tends to be rude and haughty and socially awkward,
something that’s understandable considering his station.
Lizzie
meets him at Pemberley and he introduces her to his sister (which,
over-protective big brother alert, is the biggest compliment he can give) and
seeing how he treats her makes Lizzie just a tiny bit weak in the knees. JUST A
LITTLE. NOT THAT SHE WANTS TO MARRY HIM OR ANYTHING HAHA wow his house is big.
THEN
HE’S EVEN A GENTLEMAN TO HER AUNT AND UNCLE AND MAYBE JUST MAYBE SHE MIGHT
THINK HE’S A BIT HANDSOME???? JUST A LITTLE?????
Then she hears her sister Lydia has run away with the renegade Mr. Wickham.
He
comes to the rescue, finds Lydia and Wickham, and persuades them to marry with a
hefty sum of money, thus rescuing the Bennets from disgrace. But. BUT.
HE
DOES ALL THIS WITHOUT TELLING HER. OR THE REST OF HER FAMILY.
HER
AUNT AND UNCLE TELL HER, MUCH LATER, THAT DARCY DID IT ALL AT GREAT PERSONAL
EXPENSE.
And
Lizzie’s just like ‘oh no.’
(Because every girl’s a slut for a gentleman
who treats her and her family with respect.)
BUT
THAT’S NOT ALL.
OH
NO, THAT IS NOT ALL.
BINGLEY
COMES BACK. MAH BOY BINGLEY COMES RIDING INTO TOWN TO SWEEP JANE OFF HER FEET.
Gee,
I wonder who could have been behind that? I wonder who could possibly have
persuaded Bingley that Jane truly did love him, and that her family was not
beneath his station after all? WHO COULD POSSIBLY HAVE DONE THAT????
By
this point Lizzie’s a hive of conflicting desires and emotions. That’s when
Lady Catherine de Bourgh comes into her house, unannounced, and tells her not
to marry Mr. Darcy.
How
does Lizzie respond? Miss “From the very beginning – from the first
moment, I may almost say – of my acquaintance with you, your manners,
impressing me with the fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit, and your
selfish disdain of the feelings of others, were such as to form that groundwork
of disapprobation on which succeeding events have built so immoveable a
dislike; and I had not known you a month before I felt that you were the last
man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry” ?
She
says, ‘WOW. FUCK YOU LADY. YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO. HE’S A GENTLEMAN AND I
AM A GENTLEMAN’S DAUGHTER. WE ARE EQUALS. I’LL MARRY WHOMEVER I PLEASE. NOW GET
THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE.’
(Oooooh, girl, you got it bad.)
After this, Darcy shows up and starts talking to Lizzie. And it KILLS me, because obviously
he’d given up on ever winning her hand. He did all those things for her not
because he wanted her to like him, but just because he loved her. He was upset
when he found out her uncle had told her about what he did for Lydia and
Wickham. UPSET. And while Lady Catherine had raged about how inferior
Lizzie’s family was, just as Darcy once had, now Darcy says that he respects
and loves them. He says Lady Catherine spoke to him of their encounter, and it filled
him with hope that maybe she didn’t think he was an insufferable jackass
anymore. ONLY when he receives this encouragement does he renew his proposal,
and even then he adds, “one word from you will silence me on this subject for
ever.”
I
MEAN???? Just LOOK at this precious sunflower, dumb and stuttering and full of “awkwardness
and anxiety,” so fucking in love with this girl that he was willing to give his
personality a complete overhaul and re-evaluate all his life choices, not
because he thought it would make her like him, but JUST BECAUSE he loved her. And if she had refused him a second time, he would never have bothered her again.
THAT is how you gentleman.
The
name of the novel says it all – Pride and Prejudice. He’s proud and haughty,
she’s prejudiced and rooted in her negative first impressions. These are the
things they have to overcome, this is how they have to grow and evolve. He
needs to lay aside his pride, she her prejudice, and only then can they be
together.
Because
they are perfect for each other. Absolutely,
unequivocally. And when Jane Austen says they live happily ever after, I
believe her.
Josh Lyman “You know what, CJ, I really think I’m the best judge of what I mean, you paranoid Berkeley shiksa feminista! …Whoa, that was way too far.” “No, no. Well, I’ve got a staff meeting to go to and so do you, you elitist Harvard fascist missed-the-dean’s-list-two-semesters-in-a-row Yankee jackass!”
I am so sorry, for some reason I seemed to have missed this????? Which is upsetting because I have things to say about Magnus, nonnie. I have so many things.
Because, Magnus is just a little vulnerable cupcake, okay? He puts up all these barriers and walls and underneath he just wants to be loved and cuddled. I mean, something I can’t stop thinking about with Magnus is how he loses everyone he loves and how much courage it must take for him to let himself give into the way he feels for Alec, knowing that – once again – he might lose him. (I say might because I refuse to believe something can’t be worked out.)
But, here is the thing. Here it is. That when Alec and Magnus are finally together, how clingy Magnus is. I need you to think about this with me. Magnus, who teases Alec, who is the experienced one, who has loved and lost and had lots and lots of sex, but at the end of the day, he is the vulnerable one. I need you to think abut Magnus who isn’t sure whether or not Alec will get fed up if he tries to hold his hand all the time or snuggle him all night. Magnus, who is unsure if Alec will be okay with clingy cuddling after sex or how much Magnus loves being in Alec’s space. He knows people need their space, everyone does, but Magnus…he has just never felt this way, this much before.
And of course he needs his alone time too. Some days he needs to be on his own, just the same as Alec sometimes needs to spend the day training and away from the rest of the world. But it scares Magnus how much he truly loves Alec, knowing this could all blow up in his face. That maybe in a couple of years, when Alec is older, he will grow bored, see Magnus as his first love and move on. But Magnus can’t not risk it, because Alec is the most important thing to him in the world, or is at least very much becoming the most important, and it’s scary and makes him even more vulnerable but…but it’s all worth it just for the moments where Alec holds him, squeezes his hand when Magnus takes it, how he seeks Magnus out to cuddle after sex, how he looks at Magnus from across a room like Magnus is somehow everything and kisses his forehead because he’s taller and he knows how much Magnus secretly loves forehead kisses.
Vulnerable Magnus getting all the love and care he deserves is so very important to me, nonnie. So very important.
When Homestuck is over I want a full tally of how many times Karkat said Fuck throughout the entire comic.
or even better, a tally of the total amount of times “Fuck” has been used in all of homestuck, then find out what percentage of the total mentions of Fuck in homestuck is just Karkat.
Plz
I mean Dave actually curses more times than Karkat in total buT YEAH LETS TALLY IT ALL UP
so on the website readmspathere’s a full transcript of every word ever feature on homestuck and
2547
the word fuck or variations of it is featured 2547 times
if anyone’s willing to go through all of this they are welcome to do so
thats it you know what
i am currently counting every time someone says fuck and im gonna make statistics
wish me luck and courage
i just spent the last fucking 3 hours manually counting every single fuck there is in homestuck
kill me
someone give me a fucking prize
Burr: making my way downtown, walking fast
Hamilton: pardon me
Burr: *walking faster*
Hamilton: can we confer, sir
Burr: *fuCKiNG SPRiNTInG*