how did jk manage to write ootp and not come to the conclusion that the only career w any true meaning for harry james potter was as a goddamn professor at hogwarts like how do u write the da scenes and say “nah he’d want to be a wizard cop”
#just let him dress in warm sweaters and have tea with neville in the staff room and help first years #harry james potter as hogwarts longest serving defense against the dark arts teacher fucking fight me (@batcii)
#but it would be so perfect??? #bc it would help normalize his life so much #like there would just be this generation of kids who are like #‘ugh who cares that he killed the dark lord he gAVE US HOMEWORK OVER BREAK’ #like the beginning of every year there would be the new first years who would freak out a little #but then it would calm down #and most of the students would literally forget #until like clockwork the fifth years would have their history of magic class on the second war #and they’d all show up to DADA looking a little awestruck and everyone would be extra quiet #and harry would give this kind of annoyed sigh—except it’s fake bc he TOTALLY knew this was coming #bc binns is a bro and he totally gives him a heads up every year #and harry wouldn’t have any lesson plans for the day and instead he would just sit at the front of the room and answer everyone’s questions #but otherwise everyone would just be like ‘professor potter!! i can’t get my patronus to work! help me!’ #and like they’d go home at the end of the year or for break and their parents—who ARE still starstruck by harry james potter #would pester their kids with questions#and the kids would just be like ‘merlin i don’t know?? potter’s such a huge dork you should hear him talk about proper wand movements’ #but they would all love him #and he would feel safe and normal and utterly accepted #AND I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE (via @cinematicnomad)
Not to mention it would be an ultimate Fuck You to Voldemort, who put a curse on the teaching position in the first place.
Like, Jo, I don’t want to tell you how to do your job, but COME ON
I already queued this but also, you do this, but still have Ginny become a famous Quidditch player. Imagine the first time Harry gets called “Ginny’s husband” before “the boy who lived” or “the chosen one.” Imagine how fucking pleased he’d be.
Imagine the first time a student comes up to him looking starry-eyed and Harry’s thinking “Oh no” because he doesn’t want to talk about Voldemort or the war but instead this little eleven year old is like “ARE YOU REALLY MARRIED TO WEASLEY FROM THE HOLLYHEAD HARPIES???!?? WHAT’S SHE LIKE?” and he’s like “oh thank god” because he could talk about Ginny all day.
Yes. Good.
Tag: AMAZING
mommy is not allowed to leave
descendants 2 + i didn’t know it was possible to ship this many things
I know it gets said a lot, but ‘Actual TOS dialogue or Porn opening’ would be a great game.
So pleased to finally be finished!! This is the full video–just the first verse + chorus–but the full song works really well for Six of Crows and you should listen to it! And also read the Six of Crows duology by Leigh Bardugo because those are them Good Books. uOu/
Some notes: Wylan’s burning a letter and yep, that’s his dad. Yep, that’s Jarl Brum’s gloved hand that appears before the wolf. Inej’s knives should’ve been dark for maximum stealth, I just liked the shine too much. In retrospect, I wish I’d given Kaz a proper limp.
Programs Used: Toon Boom Studio 4.5, Adobe Photoshop CS6
Song: Trouble by Valerie Broussard (available on Spotify!)This is truly one of the most magical, spectacular, incredible things I’ve ever seen. @toastyhat, I’ve loved following your updates and getting to see just a tiny bit of the tremendous amount of work that went into this. You captured these characters and the spirit of the book so perfectly. I am seriously blown away. I’m on writing retreat and I just showed it to Kelly and we outright screamed.
Now I’m going to go watch this a thousand more times.
(Source: https://www.youtube.com/)
I’M CRYING
fred and george once spent months brewing up a batch of polyjuice potion
they used it to change lee jordan into looking identical to them, and wandering around hogwarts as usual
at least twelve different gryffindors had to go see madam pomfrey that day, they got so stressed out
look @ these two idiots stressing eachother out
hogwarts memes
– everyone answering “no, i’m fred” to “are you [insert Y/N]” even hermione
– everything draco does ever
– calling blast ended skrewts “power bottoms”
– calling newt scamander bad variations of his name like nerd sandwicher etc
– colin creevey using that one picture he managed to get of hermione punching draco as a reaction image
– shouting “spank me daddy” at the whomping willow
– [pointing at random object] that’s a portkey
– every single cat is professor mcgonagallwhy
– POTTER
– ever since snape’s “bottle fame, brew fortune” speech students just go on and on with it – “flambé success, bake brilliance” “Can you tutor me in charms?” “TUTOR you? I can teach you how to SAUTÉ EXCELLENCE.”
Failed suburban development plan in California City, CA, photo by Chang Kim [990×742]
Source: https://openpics.aerobatic.io/
sit down, kids, i’m gonna tell you a fucking story about california city.
imagine it’s the 1960s. we’re gonna fucking go to SPACE and there’s hella people who wanna OWN LAND because if you own land then you’re rich and shit. everybody wants to own land in the 1960s. owning land is like the iPhone of the 1960s, and nat mendelsohn knows it.
“yo,” nat says to himself one day, “nobody lives in the mojave desert and that shit’s basically like FREE LAND. what if i just buy the mojave desert for real cheap and sell it to people so they can FULFILL THE AMERICAN DREAM and OWN SOME LAND.”
so he bought the mojave desert and did exactly that.
(historical accuracy note: nat did not buy the entire mojave desert. he did buy a huge fucking chunk of it, though, so the statement ‘he bought the mojave desert’ is accurate, if slightly misleading.)
once nat had bought the mojave desert, he split it up into a bunch of lots and drew some roads and put in some street signs so it looked like the first five minutes of when you’re playing the sims and you haven’t actually built any buildings yet but you’re trying to plan out where the fuck your house is gonna go and where your shitty neighbors are gonna go.
with like ¼th of a city planned, nat then had huge planefuls of people flown in so he could show him all the streets and shit he’d marked out for his city and hopefully sell them a piece of this city. they were gonna have a huge park and swimming pools and white picket fences and it was gonna be AWESOME.
he made BOATFULS OF MONEY selling these plots of land. everyone fucking owned a california city plot. my own great-grandmother owned a california city plot. it was gonna be BIGGER THAN LOS ANGELES and they could all build cute lil cookie cutter 1960s houses and plant lawns and have backyard barbecues with the fam. california city was gonna be POPPIN’, but everyone had to move there first.
this is where nat’s choice of making a city in the middle of the desert was REALLY FUCKING STUPID.
kids, if you’ve never been to a desert then it’s gonna be impossible to explain why moving to the middle of the mojave desert is a stupid fucking plan. instead, i’ll just tell you this: california city is located just 65 miles from DEATH VALLEY NATIONAL PARK, which is the hottest place on the face of the earth. california city isn’t much cooler than death valley, let me tell you, and even the native los angeles residents who now owned california city plots were kinda rethinking moving to the middle of bumfuck nowhere to be part of this poppin’ new california city.
“fam,” those people said to their squad on the telephone because it’s the 1960s and group chat hasn’t been invented yet, “i dunno about this california city thing. yeah, my boy nat says it’s gonna be LIT but also it’s in the mojave desert and i’m not sure if he mean lit like ‘turned up’ or lit like ‘your ass is gonna be lit on fire if you try to sit down in this hundred degree heat.’ maybe we should just move to burbank. at least they have movie stars and shit plus i don’t gotta build a whole fucking house.”
so nobody but like three people moved into california city.
(historical accuracy note: it was like three hundred people, but that makes it sound impressive for those of you that come from places where three hundred people living in bumfuck nowhere is actually a lot of people living in bumfuck nowhere so please just imagine three people, by themselves, in the desert. way more accurate representation of how many people actually showed up versus were supposed to show up.)
those three people sure built a functional, working city, though. they got an AIRPORT! they got a BASEBALL TEAM! they got the EDWARDS AIR FORCE BASE nearby, so everyone’s got jobs! all the borax for those middle school kids that are selling slime probably comes from the BORAX MINE in california city! and by golly they got their fucking park.
it’s a cool place, aside from the fact that it always feels like you’re being cooked alive in an oven except for in the winter when it’s fucking freezing because deserts want to kill you no matter what season it is.
and that’s the story of why california’s third largest city has less than fifteen thousand people living in it.
TL;DR: local man ran successful kickstarter for a planned city but found out if you don’t actually build it, they ain’t gonna come.
this reads like a bill wurtz video and the all caps are the jingles
what i do is not up to you 