@atheyna Percy Jackson au where everything is the same except they make john mulaney jokes at inappropriate times
In monster training class, “now you’ve thrown him off his rhythm”
‘my time at camp half-blood was like a four-year game show called Do All The Gods Hate Me or Am I Just Really Unlucky?’
“How I see it, and it’s just me… This time titan rising, it’s like there’s a horse LOOSE in a HOSPITAL”
‘And Annabeth pulled into the drive-thru, and we started cheering. And then, she ordered one black coffee for herself. And kept driving.’
“I watched Percy get pushed off the seesaw”
“And where were you Clarisse”
“I was over on the bench”
‘I’d never say Annabeth is a bitch and I don’t like her. Annabeth is a bitch and I like her so much’
Zues: Percy, we need you to go on another quest for us
Percy:
‘I’ll watch a show on some garbage channel. I don’t wanna name an actual TV channel, so let’s make one up, let’s just call it Hephaestus TV.’
Percy, about to do something stupid: but what would Leonard Bernstein do
‘and then I went to the Olympus help desk, which is an oxymoron-’
Gabe: who the hell would make blue food??
Percy:
what i do is not up to you 