marvel should make a mockumentary about loki as odin and the behind the scenes drama that went on while loki was trying to produce and direct his play. i wanna see tantrums about sets, actors, and interviews with asgardians who are just like “ya we know it’s loki but at least he’s not trying to kill anyone, so we just let him do what he wants”
and ideally combine it with that one headcanon that loki straight up kidnapped the actual matt damon
– peter being That Person in the group accommodation that the rest of the hall genuinely doesn’t believe exists. like that room at the end of the hall no one ever seems to enter or exit?? peter’s. he comes in through the window. the rest of the hall are sure they met him once at orientation but they haven’t seen him since
– but sometimes they hear weird bumps in the night and muffled cursing and the resident stoner swears he saw tony stark go in there but nobody believes him
– *peter gets in from patrol at 4am* *see’s planner* “ah shit I have a lecture at 8″
– peter lying in bed as his alarm goes off the next morning: is it worth it. is it. do i even really need a degree? i could be a stripper. I have an okay body. strippers don’t have to get up for 8am lectures. is it r e a l l y worth it –
– peter at a morning lecture, with three coffees and a pack of redbull and one pen missing a lid “this is fine”
– “did that dude just down a pack of redbull like he’s doing shots” “same”
– u know that really annoying person who misses like 80% of the lectures but still somehow manages to get the highest mark on the exam? peter is That Asshole
– *peter showing up 10 mins late, bags the size of texas under his eyes, wearing pajama bottoms and a t shirt advertising iced tea, shaking from a lack of sleep/caffeine binge* “is this advanced chemistry?” “ancient history” “close enough” *collapses onto nearest desk*
– peter going around the freshers fair and grabbing every free thing in sight: pens, tote bags, notebooks, t shirts advertising shitty energy drinks, shoving everything edible in his mouth bc he’s a poor kid and he knows You Don’t Turn Down Free Food
– “Karen, how long can I survive on pot noddles and discount pizza before I die?”
first you have to know that antony and cleopatra had known each other at this point for like…. shit almost 15 years? and had had a correspondence on and off throughout that time. they’d known each other through her exile, through his campaigns, through her first child, through his (failed) interim consulship. it’s conjectural to say they were on good terms but… i don’t know why they wouldn’t be.
so when antony found out that cleopatra had funded cassius and brutus during the civil war? he was like, what the fuck. what theFUCK! (yells out window) OCTAVIAN DID YOU HEAR THIS! WHAT THE FUCK!
so antony issues a summons: cleopatra is to come to him so she can Explain Her Self. to this cleopatra replies: what the fuck did you just say to me?
(and you might be like, wait, why is that an issue? and i’ll tell you why, it’s because cleopatra, despite essentially being a (very tenuous) client king to rome at this point, vulnerable to invasion and just barely out of the woods re her connection with caesar, was a macedonian through and through: from language to looks to, you guessed it, ego. and she was fucking. insulted. HOW DARE HE! she probably yelled to charmian. I AM BLOOD! OF! PTOLEMY! NOBODY SUMMONS ME! charmian: i understand that your majesty can you please eat your dinner now)
antony summons her twice more. finally cleopatra, personification of the upside down smile emoji, says, okay! i’ll come. see you soon!! (:
now. cleopatra knew two things:
One: that she was richer than antony, and antony wouldn’t be able to afford a reciprocal feast if she went all out, which would be hugely embarrassing for him
and Two: that a lot of people liked to say antony was a dumb hoe, impressed only by material goods and lavishness, and that he didn’t like when people said this.
so naturally cleopatra proceeds to sail up the river to tarsus in an huge fuck-off ship, plus her entire waitstaff, 12 dining tables, a feast that was lavish beyond belief, entertainment, probably some peacocks or whatever, all decked out in pearls and jewels.
antony: wtf! why are you being so mean rn! cleopatra: mocking baby voice: why are you being so mean rn??? (normal voice) FUCK you
antony didn’t ask her why she had supported cassius ever again. and that was the beginning of the most famous love affair in history
Marvel: Are you ready for the GOD of motherFUCKING THUNDER?????? He’s six feet of RAWMUSCLE and his hobbies include SMASHING things with a HUGE, MAGICHAMMER and being a generally SEXY BEAST
It upsets me that his first instinct, even in literal combat scenarios, is to not fight, and how violently everyone reacts to him.
In light of this post crossing 10k notes and on the suggestion of one the rebloggers,
Also,
He learned. He was banished because he went looking for a fight for a fight’s sake. He didn’t know the cost then. Didn’t understand it. Now he does. And it’s not a price he wants to pay.
side note, teaching myself to pronounce that last one felt like learning a new fucking language
The emotional journey of this post is unrivaled 1. Seeing it’s an audio post (feeling: wary) 2. Reading the text (feeling: it’s funny now) 3. Remembering it’s an audio post (feeling: extremely wary) 4. Pressing play on the audio post, hearing his voice (feeling: wariness intensifies, transforms into fear, disgust) 5. First hard-to-pronounce word said with effortless certainty (feeling: joy) 6. Final impossible word enunciated to perfection (feeling: joy, giddiness)
what i do is not up to you 