benepla:

benepla:

marvel is disney’s forever cash cow! it appeals to children, teens, and sweaty adults! it’s all quite loud and colorful, with the same safe formula every time, but with different directors and tweaks to make it whatever the fuck memorable each time. plus the reliance on violence to push the plot will give them those dank US military checks until explosions go extinct. truly we live in horrific times but i don’t really care 

thank u all for letting me know the military quit cutting checks for the MCU after Avengers because they got offended bc the fictional magic men are an alternative to the american military. i’m sorry i was misinformed but more importantly that’s really, really, really, really, really fucking funny

source because i wanted this to be true so much i didn’t believe it was, but it IS

kaiito-l:

kaiito-l:

kaiito-l:

kaiito-l:

kaiito-l:

kaiito-l:

kaiito-l:

concept: tlc but its a game of dnd

cinder: my character is the lost lunar princess. because of her royal lineage she has one of the strongest manipulation powers stronger than levana’s. the queen tried to burn her so she had to get cybernetic surgery. she has a computer in her brain and-

thorne: TOO OP

cinder: no way she has the right amount of p

thorne, to dm: at least give her a handicap!!

dm: how about she has this device that stops her from using her powers until its deactivated?

cinder and thorne, sulking: fine

dm: so whats her name?

cinder, closing moon baby name tabs: uuuhhh selene channary jannali blackburn

dm: as a result of the ongoing investigation on linh cinder, her cyborg foot ends up in your possession. wyd

kai: uuuhhhh i use it for investigation purposes??

[rolls a nat 9]

dm: the foot gives you 0 hints, instead you keep it on your office desk as it guides and helps you through these trying times

kai: …. thanks… i guess……..

dm: ec military close in as the rampion refuses to open. the-

iko: I ROLL FOR A NEW BODY

[rolls nat 11]

dm: you get a new body. cinder installs your personality chip as the ship’s main control

–

dm: everyone rejoices as thorne is welcomed back into the group-

iko: RoLl FoR a NeW bOdY

cinder: ikO

[rolls nat 19]

dm: …. u actually get a new body

iko: and its sLAMMIN

iko: right?

cinder: i roll to shoot kai with a tranquilizer dart

kai: wHAT

cinder: and cut out his id chip

jacin: that’s TWO (2) things, u cant-

dm: roll

[rolls nat 20]

dm: it lands and he falls asleep immediately. kai loses his turn until tonight’s session ends. also torin tells you about the 2nd id chip.

kai: wha- thats ooc!!!

torin, walks in with tea: no its not

dm: u reach the rooftop safely

cinder: roll perception check

[rolls nat 0]

dm: the coast is clear. no enemy in sight

everyone:

dm: cress its ur turn

cress: umm i comm jacin to pick us up?

winter: jacins a traitor

jacin: i did it for yOU

cress: okay i check for escape routes!

[rolls nat 4]

dm: u remember you programmed the elevator to shut down once u reach the rooftop. the only way to escape is through sybil and her guards who have u surrounded

thorne: perception cHECK

scarlet: ur blind

kai: great. were gonna die and i wont even be awake for it

dm: aimery approaches jacin who is vulnerable atm

winter, panicking: i- i use my powers to kill aimery!!!

[rolls nat 16]

dm: unfortunately, u use scarlet to stab aimery. the good thing is he runs into her knife. he runs into her knife 10 times

bookish-but-corruptible:

theseerasures:

professorspork:

things I think about:

Chris Evans thinks Steve is a virgin, but Hayley Atwell is convinced Steve and Peggy consummated their relationship.

now, you might think a disagreement of such proportions would send fandom into a tailspin. whom do you believe? MUST WE PICK SIDES? IS THIS WHAT THE PLOT OF CIVIL WAR IS REALLY ABOUT?

luckily, the answer is simple

Steve and Peggy disagree on whether or not oral counts

#‘OF COURSE ORAL SEX COUNTS AS SEX STEVE. SEX IS ITS LAST NAME.’#‘IF YOU CAN’T GET PREGNANT IT’S NOT SEX’#‘WHO TOLD YOU THAT? BUCKY?’ 

“who told you that? bucky?” I’m dying 

rebelmeg:

trickerydickerydock:

ragnarokgay:

trickerydickerydock:

ragnarokgay:

The reason they killed Loki in the first ten minutes is because Loki absolutely would not have hesitated to kill Vision, or steal the time stone.

Avengers: Someone’s killed Dr. Strange and Vision!

Loki, admiring his new necklace and glowing yellow paperweight: Tragic

Wanda: if we destroyed the mind stone it would kill Vision D:

Loki, already stabbing him: oh no

Thor: Hey, didn’t Midgard have a wizard around here earlier? Loki, you remember the wizard, right?

Loki, currently garroting Dr. Strange with the time stone: I don’t recall

I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING