A cleric who is the Team Mom and only heals by kissing you on the forehead and buffs you by licking her thumb and rubbing away some schmutz on your face
someone’s like “you know that’s not actually required for your job” and she’s like “shhhhh my beautiful child, my healing my rules, I made you a potion, it’s chicken noodle mana”
Their holy sigil is a macaroni necklace you made in second grade. You didn’t know them in second grade. You’re not sure how they got that macaroni necklace. You ask them about it, and they just slip you a twenty and tell you to get whatever you want at the food court. “What is a food court?” you cry, but it doesn’t matter because they summoned a hero’s feast and everything tastes wonderful, and at some point you crawl into their lap to cry about something you thought you were adult enough to handle.
“This is you handling it,” they say. “You’re never too big to ask your mom for help.”
“You’re literally not my mother,” you sob.
“But metaphorically,” they say, and you’re like truuuuuuuuuu and sob a little more before they tuck you into a bedroll because you’ve got a big day tomorrow stopping an assassination at a royal palace
concept: a game called “john mulaney or cecil palmer?” where you have to guess if a quote was said by popular stand-up comedian john mulaney or fictional radio host cecil gershwin palmer
this might sound easy, but please keep in mind that john mulaney has said “whoa, that tall child looks terrible! get some rest, tall child! you can’t keep burning the candle at both ends!” and cecil palmer has said “alligators: can they kill your children? yes.”
Plans to fly a giant inflatable figure depicting Donald Trump as a baby over London during the US president’s visit have been approved.
Mr Trump is due to meet Theresa May at 10 Downing Street next Friday.
Campaigners raised almost £18,000 for the helium-filled six-metre high figure, which they said reflects Mr Trump’s character as an “angry baby with a fragile ego and tiny hands”.
London Mayor Sadiq Khan gave permission for the balloon to fly.
The White House has been approached for comment.
On Twitter former UKIP leader Nigel Farage said the plan was “the biggest insult to a sitting US President ever”.
Leo Murray, who is behind the crowdfunded idea, said: “[Mr Trump] really seems to hate it when people make fun of him.
“So when he visits the UK on Friday, we want to make sure he knows that all of Britain is looking down on him and laughing at him.
“That’s why a group of us have chipped in and raised enough money to have a six-metre high blimp made by a professional inflatables company, to be flown in the skies over Parliament Square during Trump’s visit.”
A statement on behalf of the London mayor said he “supports the right to peaceful protest and understands that this can take many different forms”.
After meeting with the organisers of the Trump Baby, Mr Khan’s city operations team gave them permission to “use Parliament Square Garden as a grounding point for the blimp”.
Mr Khan and Mr Trump have repeatedly clashed on Twitter, including in the aftermath of the London Bridge attack.
Before the figure can take off, campaigners will also need permission from the National Air Traffic Service (NATS) as the project constitutes a “non-standard flight in controlled airspace”, a spokesperson said.
Because Parliament Square sits within restricted airspace, additional approvals are also needed from the Metropolitan Police.
Max Wakefield, who is one of the people working on the project, said the group is “confident it will obtain all necessary permits”.
He said the initial crowdfunding target was just £1,000, but this was reached within 24 hours.
The extra cash will now be used to send the balloon on a “world tour” and “haunt” Mr Trump wherever he goes, he added.
The Met has been approached for a comment.
Well, Himself is the biggest insult to the Presidency in living memory, so stuff it, Nigel Farage.
“The extra cash will now be used to send the balloon on a “world tour” and “haunt” Mr Trump wherever he goes, he added.”
It’s been three years since DashCon and Fyre Fest has happened. Meaning that in accordance to the Rule of Three, in another three years, a third and final gathering catastrophe will occur with its own symbol joining the ball pit and concierge stand to create an ungodly trifecta.
what i do is not up to you 