God I was at that restaurant in Annapolis yesterday that serves those 4 lbs milkshakes and these two dudes were just finishing one together and people were asking them for tips and they were like “you have to get like mint chocolate chip or something because if there’s no texture it gets too boring to finish” and all I could keep thinking was that it can only be a matter of time before some god wipes this town off the map and we will have earned it with our disgusting hubris
Everyone who has ever finished one of these will have it weighed against a feather when they die
Doable? Maybe
Listen. After the Burger Incident of 2016 I’ve learned to accept my fragile mortality and live within the boundaries set for humanity by the Universe.
I’m a little nervous but my curiosity is overwhelming~ what, pray tell, is the Burger incident of 2016?
In 2016 the day Pokémon Go came out I worked up a big appetite with my friends and we went to Steak ‘n Shake and I decided that none of the burgers looked big enough which…..I don’t know if I thought the photos on the menu were actual size I don’t know what was going on but
I asked the server for the biggest one they had and she said “that’s the 7×7, it’s not on the menu…you don’t want that”
And immediately my friends knew I was fucked because I felt challenged which I blame on my middle child syndrome and also on that I am by birth just an idiot so I ordered it without knowing competitive food bloggers write entire articles about this thing.
I sort of knew I was in trouble when the cook came to see who’d ordered it but I wasn’t backing down and in the end I ate all 1300 calories and THEN the fries and ALSO my shake and I had to go to my friend’s and take a three hour nap and when I woke up I was so fucked up that I just started eating leaves straight off her mint plant because antacids weren’t going to cut it.
Then I complained for like two days and Ultimately I learned absolutely nothing.
In case anyone wanted a visual for the 7×7
Hubris
When you can’t decided between pride and gluttony so commit both sins at the same time.
Love being brutally called out by the British Library
Oh my gosh I went here a few days ago do you guys want to see the whole sign
I’m covered with “Librarians from Everywhere” but as a former museums professional “Tourists who think we’re the British Museum” really speaks to me on a personal level.
Tag yourself, I’m “All ten people who think they’ve got the most niche interest in the building”
I’m researchers on a bit of a mission because I have 3 weeks to finish a thesis I haven’t started
I’m “person who doesn’t want anyone to know what I’m working on”
In which the spouse and I both realize we’re vindictive southern belles.
Oh I do this all the time in academia.
“we’ve met” is, as stated, usually acknowledgement of a one-sided grudge. The aggressor isn’t actually very likely to dignify this with a response stronger than the kind of willful amnesia that leaves god and everyone wondering what she’s playing at and what the victim did to deserve it.
“we’re acquainted”, on the other hand, means that these two Southern Ladies know each other for three generations and actively maintain open hostilities along multiple vectors. There is about to be blood shed in this O’Charleys at 2pm on a Sunday. The actual victim of gossip will be whoever did that introduction, because everyone knows that Mary and Louise have hated each other since 1951, and how did that person not know? You fool.
this post ISN’T for transmisogynists and aphrodite would NOT approve of you being hateful towards other women, thanks
this post 1000% includes trans women and does not include terfs whose voices i’m not going to engage or listen to as long as you’re attacking my sisters
trans women reblogging this and saying “hey that’s me!” i love you and every happy comment on this makes my day, your voices deserve to be heard and appreciated for not only your beauty but what you have to say, keep being wonderful ♡
Spock’s the kind of Vulcan dude who has the next thirty years of his life planned out in a color coded Excel spreadsheet and then. Jim comes into his life. And Spock calls Amanda and Sarek like “esteemed parents…. you won’t believe this but…he just DOES things…he doesn’t even think about them before he does them, this morning Jim saw a dog half a mile up the street and we were twenty minutes late to a meeting with the admiralty because he kept insisting that I give the ‘good boy’ a pat on the head. And also his smile is like sunlight and I can’t say no to him. Why is he like this”
Sarek’s just like “my son….now you understand how I feel when your mother insists that we wake up at dawn to view the sunrise together…it is completely illogical and yet….every second I spend in her presence is a gift”
And Amanda’s just sitting there laughing like “holy shit, they think I’M the emotional one?”
what i do is not up to you 