Can we just just talk about the fact that captain america civil war has all the ingredients that a stevetony fic has.
1) Pepper & Tony are broken up/on a break
2) That’s revealed when Steve asks Tony about Pepper
3) Miscommunication evERY OTHER FUCKIG LINE
4) Tony adopting Peter AKA makings of Superfamily
5) Howard as an undertone angst plot device
Add more if you feel like but JUST LOOK AT THIS I C A N N O T BELI E VE
Frogs fall out of my mouth when I talk. Toads, too.
It used to be a problem.
There was an incident when I was young and cross and fed up parental expectations. My sister, who is the Good One, has gold fall from her lips, and since I could not be her, I had to go a different way.
So I got frogs. It happens.
“You’ll grow into it,” the fairy godmother said. “Some curses have cloth-of-gold linings.” She considered this, and her finger drifted to her lower lip, the way it did when she was forgetting things. “Mind you, some curses just grind you down and leave you broken. Some blessings do that too, though. Hmm. What was I saying?”
I spent a lot of time not talking. I got a slate and wrote things down. It was hard at first, but I hated to drop the frogs in the middle of the road. They got hit by cars, or dried out, miles away from their damp little homes.
Toads were easier. Toads are tough. After awhile, I learned to feel when a word was a toad and not a frog. I could roll the word around on my tongue and get the flavor before I spoke it. Toad words were drier. Desiccated is a toad word. So is crisp and crisis and obligation. So are elegant and matchstick.
Frog words were a bit more varied. Murky. Purple. Swinging. Jazz.
I practiced in the field behind the house, speaking words over and over, sending small creatures hopping into the evening. I learned to speak some words as either toads or frogs. It’s all in the delivery.
Love is a frog word, if spoken earnestly, and a toad word if spoken sarcastically. Frogs are not good at sarcasm.
Toads are masters of it.
I learned one day that the amphibians are going extinct all over the world, that some of them are vanishing. You go to ponds that should be full of frogs and find them silent. There are a hundred things responsible—fungus and pesticides and acid rain.
When I heard this, I cried “What!?” so loudly that an adult African bullfrog fell from my lips and I had to catch it. It weighed as much as a small cat. I took it to the pet store and spun them a lie in writing about my cousin going off to college and leaving the frog behind.
I brooded about frogs for weeks after that, and then eventually, I decided to do something about it.
I cannot fix the things that kill them. It would take an army of fairy godmothers, and mine retired long ago. Now she goes on long cruises and spreads her wings out across the deck chairs.
But I can make more.
I had to get a field guide at first. It was a long process. Say a word and catch it, check the field marks. Most words turn to bronze frogs if I am not paying attention.
Poison arrow frogs make my lips go numb. I can only do a few of those a day. I go through a lot of chapstick.
It is a holding action I am fighting, nothing more. I go to vernal pools and whisper sonnets that turn into wood frogs. I say the words squeak and squill and spring peepers skitter away into the trees. They begin singing almost the moment they emerge.
I read long legal documents to a growing audience of Fowler’s toads, who blink their goggling eyes up at me. (I wish I could do salamanders. I would read Clive Barker novels aloud and seed the streams with efts and hellbenders. I would fly to Mexico and read love poems in another language to restore the axolotl. Alas, it’s frogs and toads and nothing more. We make do.)
The woods behind my house are full of singing. The neighbors either learn to love it or move away.
My sister—the one who speaks gold and diamonds—funds my travels. She speaks less than I do, but for me and my amphibian friends, she will vomit rubies and sapphires. I am grateful.
I am practicing reading modernist revolutionary poetry aloud. My accent is atrocious. Still, a day will come when the Panamanian golden frog will tumble from my lips, and I will catch it and hold it, and whatever word I spoke, I’ll say again and again, until I stand at the center of a sea of yellow skins, and make from my curse at last a cloth of gold.
Terri Windling posted recently about the old fairy tale of frogs falling from a girl’s lips, and I started thinking about what I’d do if that happened to me, and…well…
!.
You know how if you go through years and years of “best science fiction short stories”, every so often you find some short story you’ve never heard of before, but it’s just amazing and brilliant and leaves you wondering why you never read stories with that plot before? This is one of those.
The rapist and the judge are revolting, sociopathic spawns of the devil.
Rapist: Brock Allen Turner Judge: Aaron Persky
Let the Judge know how you feel: Department 89: Honorable Aaron Persky, Santa Clara County (apparently up for re-election next week?) Courtroom Clerk (650) 462-3880 Court Reporter: (650) 462-3885
RAPISTS DESERVE EVERYTHING THAT THEY HAVE COMING TO THEM. This is absolutely sickening.
I have been absolutely livid about this whole thing. Here’s a picture of a statement from the rapist’s father, just to add insult to injury….
Also, the survivor’s statement should be obligatory reading for EVERYONE for years to come. Parents, show this to your kids, EDUCATE THEM.
Date, Name, Phone Number, Address Attorney’s Name: N/A Attorney’s Phone Number: N/A Court: Superior County: Santa Clara Name of case and case number: THE PEOPLE OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA vs. BROCK ALLEN TURNER, Case no. B1577162 Please specify what action or behavior of the judge… is the basis of your complaint: Bias/appearance of bias toward a particular class. Sentencing of Brock
Allen Turner to an unusually lenient 6 months in jail for 3 sexual
assault convictions. Present: Judge Aaron Persky, District Attorney Jeff
Rosen, Defense Attorney Mike Armstrong, Brock Allen Turner, Jane Doe,
others.
Print out and mail to: Commission on Judicial Performance 455 Golden Gate Avenue, Suite 14400 San Francisco CA, 91402
aka: adorable things that jack 100% says in future televised interviews that make the samwell crew (ESPECIALLY bitty) lose their shit:
early in the season, when jack is asked “how you think your detour in college affected your play,” jack gets very serious and says that he doesn’t like the term detour because it implies you weren’t supposed to go there at all and that is not how he views his time at samwell and it would be disrespectful to all the great players both on his team and who play at the collegiate level to say that they didn’t help him improve. it is the first time that jack zimmermann sounds passionate about something on air and this makes the PR team very happy and Shitty is at the Haus watching and everyone ends up hugging and crying about their boy except Lardo and Dex.
The PR joy is short lived because jack never addresses the comments directly again but he gets very snippy about this. if anyone mentions phrases like “pitstop” or “detour” or even “it’s great to see you back where you belong” his face goes dark and stormy and he might not bother correcting them again, but whatever the question, they aren’t getting a good quote for their magazine. the press figures it out eventually.
when asked what other professional sport he would like to play, jack zimmermann says “anything but lacrosse. never really saw the point of it.” and the Haus throws a party that spans two nights.
when asked what his favorite cheat day snack is, jack zimmermann says “pie” with a smile on his face that seems a bit too happy but, hey, the guy must really love pie.
when asked by a snobby interviewer what his major was (in a tone of voice that clearly says he is expecting Jack Zimmerman to say something stupid), jack zimmermann goes into a full speech outlining his thesis and noting which historians he thinks truly capture the time period and he keeps his voice flat and awkward (like all his interviews tend to be) but the boys see his little flash of a smug grin when the interviewer flounders after his five minute monologue and doesn’t have any followup questions.
when asked what advice he would give to young hockey players, jack zimmermann smiles just a little bit and says “eat more protein.” the press takes it as jack being ridiculous and maybe he even gets yelled at by PR for that because “c’mon, zimms, weve TALKED about this- say something INSPIRING” but bitty knows that little smile was for him and texts him a string of heart mixed with chirp emojis and tweets ‘this boy’-
when asked what he thinks the best sitcom is, jack zimmermann pretends to consider for two seconds before saying in his most serious, deadpan voice “i’ve been told on good authority that the answer is 30 rock.” Holster cries. He cries harder when the followup question is “who’s your favorite character” and Jack’s answer is “sorry, i haven’t seen enough to know their names.”
when asked why he is often seen at NWHL games on his days off, jack zimmermann replies “i love watching great hockey” and when pressed further on the issue, simply repeats that statement as if very confused why people are still asking this question.
when asked (before he is out) if he has “someone special” for valentine’s day, everyone is expecting him to say no, but jack freakin’ zimmermann shrugs one shoulder and says “yup” and when they tease “oh, she must be very lucky”, this boy says “yeah, they are” and then refuses any further questions while the internet goes wild over his use of neutral pronouns.
when he DOES come out and someone asks if he’s seeing anyone, jack zimmermann smiles directly at the camera – a huge, ridiculous, i am so fucking in love smile that the world has literally never seen before (and there’s a BLUSH TOO!!) – and says “Yes, I’ve been lucky enough to date my boyfriend for four years. thank you for your time.” and walks off before anyone can ask him anymore questions.
Whatever you do don’t think about Jack and Bitty out and about in Providence in fall or winter, and Bitty not having enough layers to keep warm or forgetting his jacket. So of course Jack gives Bitty his, and chirps him the whole time on being a southern boy and how big the jackets are on him. It happens a lot, actually, and Jack doesn’t notice because it’s not like he minds, but after like the tenth time, when Jack KNOWS Bitty had a jacket in his hands before they left the apartment, he asks about it
Don’t think about Bitty blushing down at his feet and fiddling with the too-long sleeves and admitting that after the first time he’s been ‘forgetting’ on purpose. Because he really liked wearing Jack’s jackets. He defends that they’re warm and he likes clothes a little big, thank you very much, but it isn’t until they’re alone again that he also admits that he just likes the smell of Jack’s cologne
And Jack’s brain takes like an hour to reboot after that but the next time they go out Jack doesn’t even put his own jacket on, he just holds it out for Bitty to slide into and they’re both happy and stupid and in love