U can really tell who’s been on tumblr more than four years because we all give up on networks and promos and our blogs become bizarre collections of obscure art and documentation of bad life choices
my suburban ass: don’t talk to me or my raticate or my raticate’s raticate ever again
If men stopped working…the world would continue on.
If women stopped working, then things would get ugly.
What?
there has been an instance where this happened. it was 1975 and icelandic women decided not to work for one day.
working as in cooking, cleaning, taking care of the children, doing chores and so on, not only “not showing up to your workplace”. women did nothing that day, except showing up in reykjavik and protesting for gender equality, equal pay and equal representation in parliament, you know, cool stuff.
you know what happened? havoc. men were left with food to cook and children they never took care of to pick up from kindergarden and entertain for the day. they went en masse to the food shops buying sausages because they could cook nothing else, they had to bond with children they never spent more than a couple hours a day with. they struggled combining their work day and the domestic tasks they had to sort out. and this just for one day.
iceland in 1975 stopped working and things indeed got ugly. so ugly that women in the following decades became woke AF and soon it happened that women became president, took half of the seats in parliament and achieved one of the best living environments in the world.
just figured it out: the reason why they never made a movie where air bud plays hockey is because it would have to be called air hockey
what the fuck, brooks. you and i BOTH know that that is not the nomenclature of the air bud series. besides, you need two points of contact to correctly hold a stick so there would need to be TWO dogs so clearly the title would be “air buds: two dogs”
oh, look who thinks he’s the big fucking air bud expert
“yeah, uh, air bud can’t hold a fuckin…stick, because, uh” oh wait
fuck your essentialist holding technique. you fucking trash
i do like “air bud: two dogs” though. maybe a tandem cycling movie?
please, as if i was suggesting a RETRIEVER cant hold a STICK i meant that he could not ARTICULATE A STICK IN A WAY THAT REQUIRES A FULCRUM ONLY USING HIS MOUTH
such as the motions required for EVEN THE MoST BASIC HOCKEY ACTIONS. whats he gonna do?? fuckin spin on the ice? DO YOU THINK THEY MAKE SKATES FOR DOGS, BROOKS?
way to align yourself with the evil rival coach in literally every air bud movie
“yeah, uh, air bud can’t have special, uh,…shoes, because, uh” oh wait
buddy could at least be the fucking goalie (it would fit the theme of the film if josh were the one trying to score anyway). we could even call it, fucking… air bud: penalty barks. not so goddamn smart now huh
PLEASE, and catch with his mouth? do you know what rubber at that velocity will do to his poor dog teeth? do you want buddy to never eat solid food again?
sure is casual in here! you act as if buddy doesn’t already subsist entirely on vanilla pudding and go-gurts
well this brings to the fore the Big Question of the franchise: is buddy merely a talented dog or is he magical? no normal dog could survive with such a massive deficiency of protein in his diet (given he consumes stock, child-friendly puddings and yogurts and not protein-enhanced) let alone play competitive sport against creatures with more usable limbs and opposable thumbs
but if he is magic, is he worthy of praise? is the only magical dog of his kind (prior to his talking progeny, best left unmentioned) and if not, how could we praise him for talents innate to his magic and not earned by virtue of strict training
is he truly
a Good Dog?
or just good magic in a dog body
i appreciate the critical engagement with the media here but please recall that the heart of the air bud series, and by extension, the fatal flaw of the air buddies series, is that air bud is a real-life talented dog. the air bud credit sequence confirms this:
buddy is actually making those free throws himself, like a canine jackie chan. the story of air bud, though dramatized to fit hollywood sensibilities, was based on the real-life buddy, a stray who, when adopted, just so happened to be a baller
consider, then, how air buddies completely misses the mark (airballs, if you will) on what made air bud a timeless classic. they’re barely even dogs. they’re talking cgi abominations that go to fucking space. we know there ain’t no rule say the dog can’t play basketball, but there are a shit-ton of rules about the dog leaving earth’s orbit. like, i’m all for a true-to-life movie about laika, but space buddies is not that. it’s a crock of soulless bullshit
so yes, air bud is worthy of praise, and i would argue that he’s under-praised. in his life, buddy was nominated for all of 1 hollywood award, a kid’s choice award for favorite animal star, which went to salem from sabrina the teenage witch. it’s almost understandable that the handlers of buddy’s estate would allow the travesty of air buddies to happen, given that a magical talking cat beat out a legitimately talented dog. it’s bullshit top to bottom, and buddy is a truly good dog
i can only contribute a mockup of the potential poster. i do of course know that buddy would never play for a team as ruthless as boston but i couldn’t find an image of a golden retriever in a leafs jersey, which of course represents the sort of underDOGS that the air bud franchise is so fond of
i get that because it’s a show where Everyone Is Gay it’s unrealistic to expect 0 gay deaths, but they totally didn’t give a shit. the episode where poussey dies is RIDDLED with the goddamn bury your gays trope. she and her girlfriend are cute and happy, they fight, they make up, one of them dies. this is how it ALWAYS IS and if they wanted it to “not be about her sexuality” then they should have NOT MADE AN EPISODE MADE ENTIRELY OF BYG TROPE.
additionally my homegirl was murdered??? and they spent the entire 2 episodes going “oh poor white boy who was Good™ and didn’t mean for this”??? like great fuck you the only way that’s acceptable is if you shift the blame UP the ladder, like if we said “fuck mcc for giving us shitty fucking guards” but they DIDN’T it was just like “oh horrible accident unavoidable what a tragedy couldn’t be helped such accident”
FUCK
YOU
ALL
she got murdered when law enforcement officers broke up a peaceful protest. she got murdered trying to save her friend from a law enforcement officer. did the kid mean to do it? no, probably not, but like, SHE IS DEAD.
also it’s hella fucked up for a writing team with no black people depict the death of a black woman with such a strong bias for the white killer. that’s really, really fucked up. if black women had written this i might not be so pissed off, but like… who the fuck are a bunch of white people to make their audience sympathize with a white police officer who killed a black woman??? IT IS MESSED UP.
finally i hope soso catches a fucking break because she’s been depressed since she got here and then she got a season of being Poussey’s Girlfriend and now she’s depressed again thanks everyone
