hey i will probably be offline most/all of inauguration day because my family is negative enough about it and i am maxed out on dark humor for the time being. will perhaps be online simply to reblog pix of hedgehogs/kittens/babies/etc, haven’t decided. all’a y’all be safe, be strong, be good. love you ❤
There most be some fangirls in Gotham ship Bruce Wayne/Batman.
I’m imagining the fanfic, and it is filling me with glee! “The billionaire playboy shrank back a little from the vigilante. ‘W-what are you doing?’ He couldn’t help noticing his heartbeat had picked up. Batman looked back at him, his gaze expressionless. ‘I’m here to save your life, Mr. Wayne.’”
Bruce probably started the trend.
“Where did this ship even COME FROM?”
“IDK, someone wrote a really popular fic about it two years ago and everyone got on board.”
“Yeah, wasn’t his username grandfatherclock or something like that…”
No, see, this is brilliant because it actually works, because their “personalities” are so opposite that this ship would really appeal. “You need to lighten up, Batman.” “You need to take things more seriously, Mr Wayne.” “When was the last time you had any fun?” “When was the last time you did anything else?”
3hr long arguments about whether the best way to reform Gotham is through the Wayne Foundation charities and rebuilding initiatives or taking down the mobs and crime families that secretly run the city.
At the end, Bruce uses his rich-boy skills to take down a few henchmen – “What, you think I’ve never swung a golf club before?” – and Batman lets himself reluctantly be convinced to go out for ice cream.
(They’ve headcanoned Batman as blond to fit the necessary slash pairing requirements)
The comments are all, “OMG, have you ever noticed how Batman always intervenes when something shady goes down with the Wayne Foundation? I mean, not that it’s like, out of character, foil Penguin’s plot to block a low-income housing proposal so he can put up another casino there, or whatever, he does that for everyone, but have you noticed that he’s involved every time it’s Wayne Foundation? OMG THEY ARE DATING IN REAL LIFE THIS IS TOTALLY CANON!”
It’s the most popular Real Person ship in Gotham.
(Robin: “You know like, half the internet is shipping you with yourself.” Bruce: “I am large, Tim. I contain multitudes.” smirk.)
Also imagine if one of those fangirls found one of the batcaves? Like she stumbles upon the batcave in Bruce’s house and just supposes that Bruce and Batman live together. It’s the ultimate cover for Bruce not being Batman because it suddenly becomes the biggest gossip in Gotham that Bruce Wayne and Batman are living together in that mansion and that’s why Bruce is so private.
#magnus reminding victor that he and alec aren’t just “friends” by bringing up one of the most well-known and classic romantic tropes #it is such a common lgbp+ experience to have other people address your partner as your “friend” #when you are actually romantically involved #homophobic society loves to erase our relationships #you know, they’re just “bros being bros” #two girls dating are just “gals being pals” #but here we have magnus bane reminding us all that he and alec are dating #and that him taking care of an unconscious alec does mimic the sleeping beauty trope—and it would clearly be read it that way if they were a straight couple—even if the severity of the situation means we shouldn’t reduce it to that
just learned that jean-jacques rousseau was so deeply deeply obsessed with being spanked – such a spank maniac if you will, that he used to drop trou and sprint backwards ass first at unsuspecting women on the off chance their first instinct would be to spank his bare ass
i know this because he published it in his biography. he was an extremely influential philosopher and this is his story as he chose to share it
The world is a rich tapestry.
If you’re ever worded about your embarrassing shitposts coming back to haunt you, please remember that this influential philosopher literally told people in his own autobiography about his very shameable kink.
