Someone: POLITICS and ART should always be SEPARATE! There is NO REASON why ART should be POLITICAL!
William Shakespeare: *laughs. writes 3 more tiny hand jokes into his latest play, King Tiny Hands.*
Category: Uncategorized
as an economics major, i’m so here for this
Robes are stupid. My sorcerer dresses like Petyr Baelish.
To expand: if you are a mage, dress like a noble. Do not dress like a wizard. Pointy conical hat and sky-blue robes is medieval semaphore for “kill first and with extreme prejudice.” Tailored black silk over cloth-of-gold and studded with rubies says “Harmless, but valuable; ransom if possible or kill last.”
If you dress like a noble, they’re not going to pay attention as you take a turn or two to back away from the melee and prepare yourself. The ruse is only broken when you reveal yourself, at which point 8d6 fire damage is screaming toward them at Mach Fuck anyway, so no big.
counterpoint: if you don’t get to dress like someone ran a magical thrift shop through a rototiller and frankensteined the pieces back together what’s the god-damned point of being a wizard
I BKAME YOU PEOPLE! I wake up at 3:00 am and for no apparent reason my brain wants to go through Henry8’s wives. But what happens?? I remember all 3 Catherine’s and both Anne’s but the third wife’s name escapes me! What the hell is her name?? And my phone is across the room so to look it up would require me getting out of bed. Why can’t I remember her name? I’m going through her entire bio in my head but can’t think of her damn name. So finally I get out of bed to look up stupid Jane Seymour! YOU PEOPLE DID THIS TO ME!!!
7am text from my mother
Another humans are weird space orcs idea because I really like thinking about it. What if aliens have no idea how to hide their emotions? Like, they suck at poker because they can never keep a straight face or anything. or, on a darker note, their ship is hijacked and they can’t keep the fear out of their faces, but all the humans look cold and emotionless to them. Other aliens hating having to bargain with humans becase we can bluff and keep our emotions in check so well, but when they get frustrated it’s all over. Pirates threaten the space ship and they send the human to do negotiations, and the pirate talking is super confused because no matter what threat he makes, the human just doesn’t seem to be fazed one bit.
Someone please, feel free to add to this, I love to see what else people come up with!
Okay, but now I’m thinking about how this ability is used in the context of animal training/hostage negotiation/teaching/customer service. Not just looking stone-faced, but completely lying with affect, body-language and vocal tone to seem calm, friendly, relaxed and in control of the situation in order to build rapport with an animal or person and to de-escalate aggression in a situation.
Proximity alarms start going off. A vessel is approaching.
Camilian: <looks at viewscreen> “Oh zark it, it’s the Parg.”
Egrat: <Dashes over> “Oh erting fraknabs, we’re dead.”
Human Crewmember:“The who?”
Camilian: <shudders>: “The Parg. Remember the civilisations living on those five planets Lei-ward of Helios 6?”
Human: “No? I thought that system was empty of sentient life.”
Camilian: “Exactly.”
Human: “…ah.” <looks at flashing lights on console> “They appear to be hailing us.”
<Camilian and Egrat scuttle backwards away from console.>
Human: “…thanks a bunch, guys.” <presses hail pick-up button> “This is Communications Officer Haley Makini of the Starboat Fribling, how may I help you?”
Parg ship: “This is Zek of Parg.”
Human: “Hello Zek! How are you feeling this day-cycle?”
Parg Ship: “…”
Human: “I for one have been missing my family lately, I got a vidcall from my little sister and my cousins – same-generation kin-people – and they told me that cousin Wendy is getting married to her girlfriend Mila, isn’t that nice? So I’m really hoping I can make it to the wedding – that’s romantic lifebond ceremony – because otherwise they’d all be sad, they told me so. Do you have any family – lifemates or brood or other kin-people back in your home-system Zek?”
Parg Ship: “…Zek of Parg has brood of five. All Smallings, but soon Biglings. Soon.”
Human: “Oh! You must be so proud of them!”
Parg Ship: “… Yah. Good future replacements for Parent-bodies for Glory of Parg.”
Human: “And that’s all any of us could want! Imagine how sad our kin would be if either of us were to fail to make it back home! That’s why I want to help your ship Zek, in any way we can. The Fribling is only a small ship, but we have some surplus goods and skills to offer if you need anything from us.”
<long pause>
<No one on board the Fribling speaks, but Egrat has anxiously chewed their claws to the quick>
Parg Ship: “Have Lucrum cable? Parg Ship underengine in poor condition, jury-rig not hold, need hitch-tow to Dellar System.”
Human: “Oh, that’s only 8 parsecs away. Sure, hah, we can manage that. No problem.”
<78 minutes later, after the two ships have been attached via Lucrum cable>
Parg Ship: “…What kind you?”
Human: “Huh? ….oh, I’m a human. I’m from Sol 3, Earth.”
Parg Ship: “… Parg remember this. Parg remember Haley Makini. Parg remember Human.”
Human: <blinks> “…thank you!”
<communication connection closes from Parg end>
<Human sinks to ground, hand on chest, hyperventilating slightly>
Human: “HolyfuckhowdidIpullthatoffohholyfuck!”
Camilian: “Wait, you were scared too?”
Human: <glaring> “Cam, we’ve worked together how long? I’d have thought that by now you’d trust my threat assessment abilities. Phew! That one was so close I felt the breeze going past.”
Egrat: “…how. How did you just do that?”
Human: “It’s not hard. Stay calm, just keep smiling, and build rapport by pretending to care about their problems, and meanwhile showing that you’re a real thinking being. Tends to defuse situations rather than escalate them.”
Egrat: “…I think I saw what you did, but where did you learn how to do that?”
Human: “5 years customer service experience.”
Okay the last line got me.
can we just agree that hermione doesn’t give two shits about throwing rocks in the water. she knows exactly what she’s doing bless her
nO BUT
FLICK
HE LITERALLY JUST TAUGHT HER WHAT SHE TAUGHT HIM IN THE FIRST BOOK
YO
SWISH AND FLICK
THIS IS THE CUTEST THING[SCREAMS OUT LOUD]
#anyone else love how he taught her the muggle version of it and she taught him the magic version#even though he’s a pureblood and she’s a muggle born (via Saffythegeek)
OH MY GOD
omg
SWEET BABY JESUS
Hot and bothered. I am HOT AND BOTHERED
PSA for any high schoolers who’re going to college soon or are just worried about it
your high school teachers are LIARS.
Most college professors accept late assignments.
Some of them are so chill that you can ditch most of class so long as you can handle the final.
It’s all about playing it by ear.
YOU DON’T ASK TO GO TO THE BATHROOM PLEASE SAVE YOURSELF THE EMBARRASSMENT.
It is NOT harder than high school. You’re more or less ready for it if you do ok in high school, ok?
Seriously. I got A’s in AP classes yet was terrified that I wouldn’t be able to handle college.
Surprise surprise?
AP classes are harder than college classes.
No joke.
College professors are a lot more liberal on what counts as a “right” answer.
Plus they give you points for caring.
Some classes give you points just for showing up.
There’s an atmosphere of controlled panic, and you are not the only one.
You can pretty much go up to anyone and say god life is a nightmare and finals are gonna kick my ass, and they’ll go saaaaame, regardless of how genius they’re supposed to be.
Seriously.
College student here.
High school teachers are the WORST of liars.
They’ll tell you college is a “whole nother level” but that’s such horse shit.
High school is a standardized sheep counting facility.
College is a research lab full of cats that may or may not do what you expect.
Honestly my parents have been talking to me about college for years, and I’m legitimately drowning in anxiety. This is the single most helpful, relieving, beneficial thing I have ever fucking heard, and it’s off a shady website where we go to rant about our fandoms and political views. And I am 100% okay with that.
“why can’t I be proud of my heritage?”
going to cultural fairs is being proud of your heritage. making traditional food is being proud of your heritage. learning a new language is being proud of your heritage. wearing traditional dress is being proud of your heritage.
white supremacy is not “being proud of your heritage”
No one gets mad at a white person that says
“Im really proud of my dutch ancestry!” or “I love being swedish we have the best food lol!” or “ Its so cool that im irish i didn’t even know!”
The phrases “white pride” and “white power” have nothing to do with the history or culture of groups that just happen to also be white. They are trademarked terms from white supremacist groups. The pride is in being white: the percieved superior race. There is no excuse to use that choice of words when what you really mean is you love spending summers in england because your great great uncle was a duke or whatever. If you use phrases like that in 2016, you know exactly what you are implying.^thank you
god bless sara lance littering broken-hearted historical ladies across time and space
So headcanon that Jack doesn’t know bitty’s first name & at this point in the relationship, it’s too late to ask
He keeps trying to subtly steal Bitty’s wallet from his back pocket to check his driver’s license but inevitably they end up having sex anytime he touches the butt.
He knows it isn’t Richard because that’s his middle name, but for a while he wasn’t 100% sure.
He got desperate enough to try facebook but Bitty had his name there changed to Bitty, and then he ended up spending two hours commenting on all of Bitty’s posts with chirps, so that wasn’t helpful at all and Bitty called him to yell at him to quote ‘let me live’ unquote.
I mean, obviously it is his fault for letting it get to this point, but the wedding is next week and he’s pretty sure he can’t get married without knowing the name of his fiance.
He has cleared time from his schedule and he is going to visit Samwell this week to get into the student personal files. Surely he will find the answers then.
