Category: Uncategorized

what i say: omg he’s so hot i’m gonna die
what i mean: we live in an overtly sexual culture that doesn’t recognize sensual and aesthetic attraction as separate from sexual desire and as an ace individual i am incapable of expressing my appreciation for someone’s beauty in a simple way that doesn’t have a sexual connotation please bear with me

fidefortitude:

slumbermancer:

basically, i think the general rule of thumb is: if someone REALLY wants the blood that’s inside of your body, and they’re like… a vampire, or a dracula, or some sort of mansquito, then that’s probably okay. a dracula and a mansquito are made for removing things like blood and swords from inside your body.

that’s basically fine.

if something wants to get at your blood, and they’re, say, some kind of murdersaurus, or maybe a really big frog, that’s where the problems start to arise. a really frog is not made for removing blood, and your blood knows this, which is why it is so vehement about wanting to stay IN your body instead of coming out. 

unfortunately this will not deter a really big frog, because a really big frog is full of things like prizes, and value, and quite a lot of hatred, and it would REALLY rather like to replace any and all of those things with your blood, and basically by any means possible.

These words scan with a fantastic degree of confidence considering that together they make no sense at all

where-the-shit-is-my-art-pencil:

There’s A Lot To Unpack Here:
An analysis of the “Eridan is a metaphor for Obama” post

     –The opening statement comes right out with the main thesis: “I still think [Eridan’s] character arc is a metaphor for the Obama presidency.” Such an odd assertion phrased in such a direct way is the first of the post’s many unexpected twist and turns. In a way, it’s an excellent thesis statement; it lets the readers know exactly what they can expect from the rest of the text. 
     Notable is the inclusion of the word “still.” Had someone attempted to dissuade this individual from believing this theory? More than one someone?

     –The first paragraph starts pretty slowly: the comparison of the guy who does everything in twos to bipartisanship and the claim that

a gay character represents the LGBT community

aren’t too out there when compared with the original assertion that Eridan Ampora symbolizes Barack Obama. Saying a character who wants to care for society’s downtrodden symbolizes social welfare programs is comparatively not much of a stretch either, nor is drawing a parallel between a major villain and the GOP. 
     Then, out of nowhere, like the storm after the calm, like a clown honk followed by a gunshot, appears “Jade (Reagan) ”. Equal parts wham line and establishing character moment for our unknown theorist, the absurd comparison between lovable, open-minded 13-year old girl Jade Harley and Ronald Fucking Reagan, fortieth president of these United States, upends all our expectations, expectations which were pretty out-of-the-ordinary to begin with considering they were set by the comparison of Eridan Ampora to Barack Obama. That the anonymous theorist goes on to explain the reasoning behind this comparison in no way mitigates the shock. "Jade (Reagan)” changes everything.  Anything can happen now. There are no rules anymore. 

Keep reading

kentrakshi:

I mean, do any of us ever actually leave Homestuck? Or is it just a dinner party that people step away from for a quick smoke before Hussie slams a spoon against some hapless fucker’s waterglass and the congregation stands for yet another ass-breaking eulogy?

explain homestuck

juliuscaesarofficial:

transhumanisticpanspermia:

one day a CS major with some photoshop skills decided he wanted to make a silly user-submitted command comic about some asshole kid walking around his house, which would explode into some Plot Shit, generally following the model of a previous work, Problem Sleuth (which ran for a year and concluded itself cleanly, i.e., had an actual Beginning, Middle, and End)

anyway, then The Internet Teens picked it up and suddenly this guy’s audience was no longer CS nerds looking for shitty CS jokes and ridiculous plot shit, but teens looking for Feels and Gays

anyway the two things got combined and seven years and 7,958 pages later with probably approaching close to an hour of animation and ~4-5 hours of flash games spread throughout, we are left with an animation reflecting on just how many times the same characters have fucking died.

it was supposed to consist of seven acts.

the following is the current act structure:

  1. Act 1
  2. Act 2
  3. Act 3
  4. Intermission 1
  5. Act 4
  6. Act 5 Act 1
  7. Act 5 Act 2
  8. EOA5 (once upon a time, people thought this 13-minute animation was the climax)
  9. Intermission 2
  10. Act 6 Act 1
  11. Act 6 Intermission 1
  12. Act 6 Act 2
  13. Act 6 Intermission 2
  14. Act 6 Act 3
  15. Act 6 Intermission 3
  16. Act 6 Act 4
  17. Act 6 Intermission 4
  18. Act 6 Act 5 Act 1
  19. Act 6 Act 5 Act 2
  20. Act 6 Act 5 Act 1: Again
  21. Act 6 Intermission 5
  22. Act 6 Intermission 5 Intermission 1
  23. Act 6 Intermission 5 Intermission 2
  24. Act 6 Intermission 5 INTERFISHIN
  25. Act 6 Intermission 5 Intermission 3
  26. Act 6 Intermission 5 Intermission 4
  27. Act 6 Intermission 5 Intermission 5
  28. Act 6 Intermission 5 Intermission 6
  29. Act 6 Act 6 Act 1: Homosuck
  30. Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 1
  31. Act 6 Act 6 Act 2
  32. Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 2
  33. Act 6 Act 6 Act 3: GAME OVER
  34. Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 3 (psyche the ride never ends)
  35. Act 6 Act 6 Act 4
  36. Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 4
  37. Act 6 Act 6 Act 5
  38. Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 5

essentially, all you need to know about homestuck is this: if someone tells you it’s a cohesive unit they’re lying, and if someone tells you it’s ending, they’re also lying

homestuck is a fckin mess i love it