when people try to talk about how honey is supposedly unethical because we’re stealing the bees’ food I’m just like, genuinely curious if you’re aware that the honey we eat is the result of beekeepers raising colonies and harvesting the excess honey while making sure the bees are all good and fine, and that the honey you buy at the store is from a farm and not just like going into the woods and sticking your hand in a beehive like a bear in a cartoon and stealing the wild bees’ honey
Male Writer: Ah, anniversary jokes are so funny. Because chicks always hate it when you don’t remember anniversaries! A plus gold very original
Male Writer: Mother in laws amirite?
Male Writer: My male character who is an author insert of myself pines after a woman I used to pine after in high school. Then they have sex. This is good literature.
Male Writer: Ugh female books are so romance filled
Male Writer: And girl fanfics, so mary suey
Male Writer: Now listen about this original middle aged man who is an expert in everything, suffers from ennui, looks like me, acts like me, and gets all the girls i want.
Male Writer: She was sexy in an alluring, boring way, filled with purple prose and riddled with objectification
Male Writer: If i make a female character parrot my misogynistic views, they cease to be misogynistic! Are you saying you don’t respect my fake female characters opinions, feminists?
Male Writer: a good action girl is one who looks hot at all times
Male Writer: If the female main character got in an asskicking line, my work is Feminist with a capital F and no one can criticize me
Specifically White Male Writer: Heroic tropes are so overdone. I’m going to create a boring white guy with stubble to be a completely original antihero no one has ever seen before TM.
Same Guy: It’s original because he is a jerk who gets away with bad behavior, just like I wish i could.
Another Specifically White Male Writer: It’s in my universe to only have white men do things in my book. I mean, don’t you care about historical accuracy
Same Guy: I mean, it’s a generic fantasy verse with no real life time period equivalent and i haven’t done any research, but i’m SURE that it’s historically accurate. To that dark mideval dragon fighting europe period
Same Guy: Where in Europe? Who cares!
Male Writer: There is no better way to introduce a female character to a male character than by him saving her.
Male Writer: Characters hating each other is good sexual tension!
Male Writer: One female character and five male characters is a good team balance
Male Writer: If my female character chooses to act in a sexist tropey way, it’s not sexist. In fact, because she CHOSE to do it, it is Feminist.
Male Writer: I am original
life hack for high school seniors: take an art class your senior year of high school, you get a break from like hardcore academia AND next year you will probably be moving to a dorm and you will have made a bunch of cool shit right up your own alley you can hang on the walls to make it feel like *your* space
cleans room
finds The First Fanfic I Ever Wrote
dies of feels
Rep. Ted Lieu (D-CA) has formally introduced a bill into Congress that would require Trump to reimburse the government for funds spent on travel to his own properties, such as Mar-a-Lago in Florida and the Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster, NJ.
Lieu’s bill, the Stop Waste and Misuse by the President (SWAMP) Act, states that Trump’s travel “results in the American taxpayer effectively subsidizing the president’s businesses.” The bill would also require that Trump reimburse the government for Secret Service costs derived from visits to his properties.
first year studying history: these are great and important people who spent their lives doing amazing things, and we should treat them only with the utmost respect
third+ year studying history: lmao did you hear what my bff cicero did the other day in 63 BC? what a wild dude, tone it down buddy, you’re outta control
