is tony a pta dad? i feel like he is. imagine 47 year old tony stark showing up at the decathlon team’s annual bake sale and getting into a fight with “that jackass, linda, and her dry-ass cake pops with the flimsy skewers. peter whens the next one of these? we’re going to crush linda”

lovelyirony:

BRUH HE TOTALLY WOULD

so he didn’t mean to be 

but flash thompson’s dad is a total asshole

so naturally peter is gonna win first place at the band fundraiser instead of Flash. Tony is a fucking billionaire, he can handle it. Mr. Thompson–his name might be Mike? That’s a dick name–is going to cry in his two-years-ago-BMW, which isn’t that good of a car to begin with. Tony built better cars when he was drunk and eighteen. 

Tony didn’t know how to bake. Keyword: didn’t. After one of Peter’s snobby ass classmates’ moms makes fun of Aunt May’s baking skills for the bake sale, Tony takes it upon himself to beat Linda at her own fucking game. 

“Dry ass bitch tries to tell me her chocolate truffles are better from her grandmother’s recipe from IOWA. Try me bitch, I got ingredients directly imported from France.” 

It should be noted that Peter got this all on video. Including Tony’s ten minute rant about how someone from Iowa wouldn’t know a truffle from a Costco knockoff, and the entire lecture of the invention of chocolate truffles in France. 

Tony’s truffles knocked it out of the park. Linda’s were a fucking NIGHTMARE compared to Tony’s. They’re dry. 

But then she whips out the CAKE POPS.Tony fumes as hers sell for two dollars  “You can’t fake quality,” Linda said smugly. 

“Hammer Industries does it all the time, I wouldn’t be surprised,” Tony says back. 

He doesn’t know how people make cake pops. But he’s determined. 

He hires professional bakers. 

Peter posts about it on his finsta, and it’s the FUNNIEST thing that no one can know about.