rogues ranked by alfred as most to least acceptable for bruce to marry

oneeyedscarecrow:

1. Edward Nygma. he’s smart, he’s polite like 70% of the time, he knows how to dress for his coloring, he’s killed relatively few people, please marry the nice riddle boy Bruce
2. Ivy. stylish, classy, committed to green energy. unfortunately way out of your league 
3. Jervis Tetch. listen, I know you don’t get along but please let me have another British person in this family I feel so alone. plus witty, well-read, smarter than most of our current R&D department
4. Harvey Dent + Harv. Harv brings the ranking down but I think most of Gotham is already psychologically prepared for you to marry Harvey. you two are obvious. I actually still have a wedding planned from back in the day so we’d save time on that
5. Harley Quinn. Loud, terrifying, but also miraculously good at getting along with everyone she meets. together, she and Bruce Wayne would be an unstoppable force of social likability 
6. Jonathan Crane. objectively a bad decision, likely to face backlash from the press. he has no social skills. however, he likes my cooking and you could probably just give him the keys to the Wayne library and it would be an effortlessly happy marriage. we could work with this 
7. Waylon Jones. He seems… nice. A bit rough around the edges, but I’m sure we could eventually find a suit that fits him. shares your love of hiding out in deep, dank places even when there are objectively much nicer places to be had
8. Jack Napier. Ranked this low due to personal feeling and appearing on this list at all because I know you’re thinking it, Bruce. but please. no
9. Selina Kyle. Would steal our silver and be off the next morning. Rather certain that she’s a lesbian
10. I know you’re still thinking about the Joker but Bruce please consider the feelings of your butler slash father figure and reconsider
11. he calls me the Bat-ler and doesn’t appreciate any of my cooking and you can’t take him anywhere public
12. Talia. you know she’s just going to stab you again, Bruce