knightlightly:

I’m going to seriously die if the major conflict between Bitty and his parents this year isn’t him coming out, but if Bitty and Suzanne legit fall out over him using Aunt Judy’s jam recipe. 

Imagine Bitty and Suzanne, in true Southern fashion, the subtle and not-so-subtle passive-aggressive snipes and asides:

“Oh, Dicky, I was planning to send you a care package, but I’ve seen how much you enjoy getting things from your Aunt Judy–” 

“Mother, please–” 

“She shared some of those pictures from Mr. Alexei, showing off all that jam you sent to the Falconers! They must’ve loved that recipe so much, Dicky!” 

“Well, yes, but–” 

“And you couldn’t’ve gotten all those berries up north, so I figured she must’ve sent some up already. Me sending any, they’d’ve just gone to waste! What. a. shame. that would’ve been.” 

And of course it escalates, to where they’re gritting their teeth through every conversation and furiously complain to their partners after every time they speak. 

Coach, of course, doesn’t care, and wants to stay out of it, but Bitty interprets his silence for taking his mother side. And Bitty probably was already thinking about staying part of the summer in Providence with Jack…. 

Mentioning that to Suzanne, however, opens up a whole new can of worms:

“You’re neglecting your family!” 

“It’s just one summer!”

“It was just one batch of Judy’s jam, at first! Now you’re making it like you’re fixin’ to feed an army, and when’s the last time you made our recipe, hm?”

“That’s not the same thing and you know it, Mother–”

“But it’s tradition. You always come down for the 4th of July!”

“I can do to skip one year. They’re’ll be plenty more to come.”

“Do they even celebrate the 4th up there?” 

“Oh for–Yes, Mother. If I stay with Jack we’ll celebrate Canada Day, too. That’s twice the celebrating! Twice the tradition.” 

“Don’t take that tone with me, young man.” 

“Mother–” 

“–I just don’t know what’s got into you, Dicky! It’s like I don’t even know you anymore!” 

At that point the fight gets real.  Tempers flare, Words are spoken, and tears are shed, and in the end, Bitty snaps: 

“You know what’s got into me? Fine. I’m gay. I’m dating Jack. and I’m staying with my boyfriend over the summer. Deal with it, Mother!”

At which point Suzanne snaps back: 

“Well fine! That still doesn’t excuse your sorry excuse for preserves!” 

and hangs up on him. 

She calls him back immediately: 

“And just so you know, Jack Zimmermann is a wonderful young man who is welcome in my house any time. You are free to come home as soon as you come off that high horse’ve yours and re-learn some manners!”

She hangs up again. 

And that is my happy head canon of how Bitty comes out to his mother and doesn’t speak to her again for two months, not because he’s gay, but because of jam. 

Jack Zimmermann, on the other hand, receives a congratulatory call, a warm welcome into the family, and weekly care packages with rainbow-themed note cards saying “To Jack, my favorite son.” (You didn’t think Bitty got his saltiness from Coach, did you?) 

(For his part, Coach calls Bitty for an awkward but warm “So your mother says you’re gay, that right? Dating Zimmermann, too? Well. Guess you got some good taste there, Junior.”)