foxtrot-thelaxbro:

onethousandroaches:

i live for like, accidental sugar daddy jack

just like, bitty never growing up with a ton of money??? and jack has but he never really thought about it until he was around people like bitty who haven’t had all the things he’s had, the million dollar homes and the top of the line gear and the nicest clothes

and jack not always being the most emotionally aware guy but thinking “hey. giving bitty things. that’s something i’m able to do”

so sometimes bitty will be at the haus and a delivery man will show up with a new stand mixer even though bitty didn’t really NEED one, just happened to mention to jack once that his was getting a little older

or jack and bitty wandering through providence and stopping in stores and jack sees bitty eyeing some new shoes or something he doesn’t necessarily have the funds for right now and buying them for him just because

and sometimes bitty will come back to the apartment in providence and there’ll be some new clothes for him in the closet (jack had asked alicia for advice) because why not? they’d look nice on him and jack can give them to him

and at first bitty feels awkward accepting all these gifts (i mean, he’s southern, they have weird rules about receiving gifts without giving things back in return) but jack tells him “i like to give you things. it makes me feel good too” and learning to live with jack spoiling the hell out of him because jack just loves him a lot and that’s one of the ways he knows how to show it

(and oh man if jack spoiled bitty when they were dating imagine how much he’s gonna spoil their kids)

Let me talk for like five seconds about the whole giving things without giving back: 

My mama was raised Catholic in small-town Tennessee and I’ve been raised in a very Christian area in Georgia (and obviously my experiences are my own and I can’t speak for everyone) but I was raised to know that there is a whole web of what determines what gift you give someone and at what times. If someone dies, you bake their family a casserole. If a baby is born you look on the gift registry (if the couple has one, and then there are rules about what you buy depending on how close you are to the couple) and you bake something for the mom. If there’s a funeral you can’t attend you send approximately how much money it would’ve cost for you to attend (price of travel) to help pay for the funeral because those things are expensive af. Etc, etc. 

These rules are in place for whatever reasons, and some of them are kind of arbitrary, but if you give any more or any less it can ~apparently~ send complicated messages. 

There’s also an equally convoluted set of rules and implications about what gifts you can and cannot accept, or whether or not you have to act like you can’t take the gift before you take it. (Well, you always have to act like you can’t take it, but that’s another rant) This is because if you accept a gift from someone you can damn well expect that they’ll bring it up later.

• “Can you believe Sarah-Beth said my pound cake was dry at the bake sale? It wasn’t dry when I brought it to her daughter’s birthday party!” 
• “I know, I know, and she didn’t even send out acknowledgements to all the moms that brought stuff! She did the exact same thing at her last brunch party…” 

And if you accept a gift from someone who isn’t in your close social circle you need to write them a Thank You card (and preferably send it by mail no later than three days after receiving the gift) and/or give them something in return. Otherwise there is an assumed debt between you and the initial giver. 

SO WHAT I’M SAYING is that when Jack starts buying Bitty things at first he’s flattered and acts like he can’t take them before he does and he feels all warm inside because getting gifts is nice. 

Then it becomes a pattern . 

Jack always buys him something. A new set of mixing bowls here, a pair of nice slacks there, but soon Bitty’s almost too suspicious to accept the gifts. He’s in debt to Jack, there is a deficit of giving. Bitty retaliates by trying to match Jack gift for gift. He bakes pies at Jack’s kitchen in obscene amounts and freezes them. He writes him love letters (because he know Jack likes to be reminded that he’s cared for) each time he gets something he doesn’t think baking will cover. 

The trend intensifies. Encouraged by what Jack assumes is Bitty’s positive feedback, Jack buys him more things. Bitty starts making a list of the things Jack has bought him. His internal monologue is probably something like What do they mean? Why does Jack feel the need to buy me so much stuff? Does he feel like he owes me something? We’ve been doing this for months, surely we don’t owe each other anything, right? Is this a Canadian thing? 

It’s like the Cold War’s arms race but with kindness. It kind of drives Bitty crazy until they are able to sit down and talk about it with each other.