tumblingisforcheer:

mostlyvoidpartiallysmog:

neurodivergent-crow:

hinallie:

thisisnotharmless:

Speaking of linguistics, there’s one particular linguistic tick that I think clearly separates Baby Boomers from Millennials: how we reply when someone says “thank you.”

You almost never hear a Millennial say “you’re welcome.” At least not when someone thanks them. It just isn’t done. Not because Millenials are ingrates lacking all manners, but because the polite response is “No problem.” Millennials only use “you’re welcome” sarcastically when they haven’t been thanked or when something has been taken from/done to them without their consent. It’s a phrase that’s used to point out someone else’s rudeness. A Millenial would typically be fairly uncomfortable saying “you’re welcome” as an acknowledgement of genuine thanks because the phrase is only ever used disengenuously.

Baby Boomers, however, get really miffed if someone says “no problem” in response to being thanked. From their perspective, saying “no problem” means that whatever they’re thanking someone for was in fact a problem, but the other person did it anyway as a personal favor. To them “You’re welcome” is the standard polite response.

“You’re welcome” means to Millennials what “no problem” means to Baby Boomers, and vice versa.The two phrases have converse meanings to the different age sets. I’m not sure exactly where this line gets drawn, but it’s somewhere in the middle of Gen X. This is a real pain in the ass if you work in customer service because everyone thinks that everyone else is being rude when they’re really being polite in their own language.

Something interesting to note is also the more literal meaning behind these two phrases and how they themselves differ and oppose each other

‘No problem’, coming from a millenials mouth, within the context of helping someone – whether it be holding a door open/picking up something someone may have dropped/ect. – and, naturally, being thanked for it, implies that the kind gesture was indeed, not a problem, that it was just the thing to do, that they were happy to help and that no thanks was really necessary.

While a Baby Boomer’s ‘You’re welcome’ in contrast, says something miles different, it actually highlights the fact that the person went out of their way to help someone; almost brings attention to it in a way, saying ‘Yeah, I helped you, I did you this favor I accept your thanks.’ which, malicious intent or not, is strikingly different than the millennial downplay of their act of kindness for the sake of helping someone.

^^^ AAAHHH YES! I HAVE ALWAYS BELIEVED THIS!! Sorry for shouting I’m just reALLY excited someone put it into words

and, naturally, being thanked for it, implies that the kind gesture
was indeed, not a problem, that it was just the thing to do, that they
were happy to help and that no thanks was really necessary.

While a Baby Boomer’s ‘You’re welcome’ in contrast, says something
miles different, it actually highlights the fact that the person went
out of their way to help someone; almost brings attention to it in a
way, saying ‘Yeah, I helped you, I did you this favor I accept your
thanks.’ which, malicious intent or not, is strikingly different than
the millennial downplay of their act of kindness for the sake of helping
someone.

Exactly.

Honestly? Our generation has turned being modest and/or down on ourselves into a fucking art form. It’s genuinely reshaping language, and even how we view ourselves in the context of society.

Gee. I wonder where that came from? This whole feeling like ever single thing you do is at best average, par for the course, or literal so expected that it’s completely unworthy of praise.

Could it be the years of growing up being told above and beyond all else not to be a “special snowflake”, “Emo”, or otherwise human and proud or hurt? Maybe being so constantly reminded, and then having it proven, just how little the job market values new workers and expects them to function at a senior level instantaneously, and before they’ve gotten a taste of the benefit of years of work experience?

We aren’t and never have been the generation that grew up “””coddled””“ and drowning in “participation” ribbons and free love support for one’s emotions and all that.

We’re the generation that had to deal with the angry aftermath of bitter old folks complaining about precisely that; telling us how awful weakness, imperfection, and pride in ourselves despite said imperfection made us, and suppressing all of it.

So, yeah. I ain’t particularly surprised we grew up to downplay or invalidate our own acts of kindness as a natural impulse.

Honestly, that scene in Mean Girls where they bond through insulting themselves was tragically accurate. That is how we communicate these days. The film played it off in a “wanting attention” kind of way, a bit, but that’s a very real kind of communication.

I remember noting once in high school that I heard many, many times more self-insults from my friends’ mouths than I ever heard self-praise. And from myself, as well, of course. It’s just normal. We insult ourselves out loud and we bond over it, not because we think the other person is what they feel they are, but because we understand self-hatred.

That’s our unifying experience. Self-hatred.

The next time someone goes on about how Everyone Gets A Trophy culture ruined millennials, I’m going to smack them in the face with an arrow pointing right to my high school.

Everyone I knew was brilliant. Stunningly. AP classes, honors classes, national merit, SATs over 2000. Those things describe me, too, although I would never call myself “stunningly brilliant” lol. I think most people I knew were smarter than me. Most people I knew would probably say that everyone else was smarter than them. EVERYONE was always sure that they were not that good, not that smart, not that high-achieving.

If you got a B, the first thing you did was think about how other people got an A. If you were in the top 2%, the first thing you thought about was how someone else was in the top 1%, but you weren’t. There was no such thing as “I did well.”

We work it out, is the thing. If everyone gets an award, you don’t think you’ve done well, no matter how high that award was. You automatically assume you don’t deserve it, that you haven’t really earned it. 

One of the school counselors I talked to told my parents that he had previously worked at another school in the area, and that my school had drastically, frighteningly higher rates of depression, eating disorders, substance abuse, and other mental health issues. At the end of that year, another school counselor quit to go work at another school, too, because he couldn’t handle the stress and perfectionism that were woven into my school’s culture.

One of my friends who, like me, was sick all the time, said that when a student’s grades start to slip, the administration would push the student to transfer out of our school. Sure, some of that is to help students find a school that has a stress level they can manage, but it definitely has a more sinister edge of, “you’re ruining our image, we’re good here.” It’s creepy.

School is hell for everyone. Literally everyone. No matter how much you love learning, human beings are literally incapable of handling that kind of stress.

And our principal? A middle-aged upper-class white man, of course? When some students in my AP Comp class did a presentation in the auditorium on school pressure and unhealthy perfectionism, he stood up and said that “maybe if students got off of Facebook, they would realize they had plenty of time to complete their assignments.” Mother fucker, I’ve never even had a Facebook, but I sure as heck remember doing just one day’s homework from 4 PM until 4 AM my junior year.

He was honestly the embodiment of Ridiculous Bias Against Millennials in that regard. Me and a few other students gave speeches at his Rotary Club, as part of a speech competition thing, and yeah, the rotary club full of middle aged white men was exactly how you would expect it to be. 

He was so sure that the workload was reasonable, because those silly millennials, they just expect things to be easy, they want things handed to them, why don’t they just get off Facebook. 

It’s like it’s never occurred to these people that maybe when we do use the Internet while we should be working, it’s because the stress load is so high that sometimes a brain is literally incapable of continuing to work through it. Neurologically, there is literally only so much you can do. Social media provides a reprieve from academic pressure, from financial pressure, from all of the bullshit that we have in The Real World.

And honestly? The kids on the other end know that they’re not getting “the real awards”, either. They know that a participation ribbon doesn’t mean anything.

I’m just saying, there’s a reason that a gold star with “You Tried” written on it is a meme amongst this generation, and it’s not meant as a compliment.