some lovely things I’ve learned reading Stony fanfic

mushroomhobbit:

mushroomhobbit:

mushroomhobbit:

Based on the 700+ fanfics I have saved in my phone welp

1) Grease stains on Tony’s cheek turn Cap the fuck on
2) also Tony’s grease stained and sweaty crop top riding up and showing a bit of skin
3) Avengers movie night is in 98% of fanfic
4) INSECURE TONY IS INSECURE AND IT MAKES ME CRY because I’m projecting
5) “Stop flirting and pining and get on with it!!!!” – Clint’s voice through a vent or perched in the ceiling in every fanfic
6)  Super Soldier Stamina and All American Man Meat
7) Steve “here I brought you a sandwich so you have to eat” Rogers
8) Tony’s so beautiful and in his element in the workshop that Steve just sits there and basks in his brilliance and has 2175574525 Tony sketches
9) JARVIS sounds sad when Tony is in denial
10) Pepper is magical and makes everything better
11) Peter/James/Sarah/Maria/Virginia as their kids
12) Steve “Imma break the whole gym when I’m frustrated” Rogers
13) We are gay for each other in every universe. Even in the universes where one of us is a woman or we’re both women or were both mermaids or aliens or cats. Literal superhusbands of the multiverse. We’re That Gay

MORE LOVELY THINGS I’VE LEARNED READING STONY FANFIC:

14) Sleepy Tony with messy hair shuffles into the kitchen/rec room/workshop demanding coffee and flopping his limbs all over Steve while still looking adorable
15) at some point Stark Industries’ stock will plummet because of the gay
16) Tony has entire paragraphs/chapters where he thinks he’s scum and doesn’t deserve Steve and I cry while reading it
17) Horrible Ex-boyfriend Tiberius Stone
18) Natasha is the omniscient Stony shipper stand-in who tells Steve and Tony that they’re idiots while sharpening her knives and disappearing at random
19) In fact everybody knows and even when they give shovel talks truth is they’re all shipper trash of mom and dad
20) Steve and Dummy are instant BFFs
21) Steve’s Brooklyn accent appears when he’s angry or flirting or when they’re engaged in amazing, athletic sex
22) “LET US CELEBRATE THIS UNION BETWEEN SUPERHEROES!” – Thor
23) Steve says some variation of “you gave me a home” and there’s a scene about Tony’s cap collection but that’s actually canon so…. 

Even More Lovely Things I’ve Learned Reading STEVETONY FANFIC 

24) Tony’s first childhood crush is Captain America and he has even wanked to the Cap poster on his bedroom wall
25) Tony bows his head and looks up at Steve through his long, thick shoujo eyelashes 
26) 

Tony and Steve save each other from awkward situations in the Maria Stark Foundation Gala and go off to chat on the balcony in private

27) S I Z E  D I F F E R E N C E
28) “I can’t sleep. Nightmares.” says Steve as he meets Tony in the kitchen before his morning run.
29) “You don’t really love me. You love Ironman/Captain America.” says Tony and/or Steve sadly.
30) Creeper Uncle Obadiah Stane
31)  So. Much. SELF. SACRIFICE!!! (and its hurt/comfort aftermath)
32) “I hate you, but we have to work together to get out of here.” Steve and Tony say while gritting their teeth, even though they’re both hard.
33)

Steve waxing poetic about Tony’s hands and his callused, long and slender fingers 
34) “There goes your favourite customer,” Nat nudges Steve as the mysterious wealthy-looking man walks in his coffeeshop/tattoo parlour/flower shop/classroom/bar. Tony on the other hand, wonders why he’s always the customer…
35) Tony wears Steve’s dog tags while Steve leaves on a SHIELD mission.