sacredcreatures:

caitlin-farmer:

cardamoms:

girl scouts knocking on the haus door to sell cookies and shitty answering the door (thankfully clothed) and torn between saying 

• “heck yeah ill give you my entire tuition to get me some samoas” 
• “your organization is so amazing and superior to boy scouts i hope you lil dudes know that.  like.  pro lgbt and supporting young girls its great” 
• “i want to buy your cookies but i dont want bitty to think i dont appreciate his baked goods im sorry” 
• “jesus what are you doing on a street thats entirely frathouses filled with gross jocks and stoners, that is both a spectacular business plan and a deep-set flaw in whoever is supposed to be watching over and protecting you kids.  where’s your scout leader.  i have some firm words for them”

…and that’s how Shitty accidentally became a den mother/scout leader

The other local girl scout leaders don’t quite know what to do with him, but hey, his girl scout group always gets the district a medal for how many cookies they sell (hockey boys + girl scout cookies = a terrific business plan) even if their badges all seem to be for things like “learning about the gender binary” and “marching in a protest” and “smashing the patriarchy”

(Nursey guest-teaches a unit on PoC poetry. Bitty does one on cooking. Lardo does one on mixed media. Dex does one on cars/basic auto repair. Ransom does one on spreadsheets. And at each of the team’s home games, there is a small but fierce collection of girls scouts with homemade signs cheering them on)

#**caramel delites #this addition is absolutely essential #can u imagine the systematic reign of terror these girls with excel proficiency & microecon lessons from holster & the ncaa market cornered#honestly between their army of hockey dads and lardo they just. would roll over the competition? 

#and if jack zimmermann knows anything it’s how to lead a team to the win #and then jack in the nhl is a HUGE girl scouts of america advocate #and everyone’s like um????? #and jack is demurely proud to support them and points to his good friend b. knight #and shitty (‘mr. crappy’) keeps up his duties while he’s at harvard law #and he’s just like ‘look at my troop look at these girls any one of them could take over the world. i’m just bankrolling the revolution.’

#i think i should have spelled it ‘troupe’ but whatever #(because obviously he verses his scouts in current events and legal issues. he firmly believes at least three of them will be in congress) #(he thinks jessie is gunning for supreme court justice tbh) #(he’s so fucking proud) (via sadquebecois)