I’d love a bullet-point or ficlet response, but anything’s fine – you’re a fabulous writer! Anyway, imagine Bad Bob Zimmermann taking to social media like a fish to water. Does he make puns of his nickname on twitter (like posting photos of Jack and himself with #DadBob or announcing good news with #GladBob) or make silly vines? Does he do #tbt stuff with photos of Alicia or his mama? Does he retweet all of Jack’s instagram pics or Eric’s tweets? What’s his twitter response to Jack coming out?

petals42:

Okay, I’m going to tell you upfront that I have no idea what this is going to turn into. This is gonna be stream-of-conscious petals style because we stayed up way too late last night but then i woke up at 7 and thought about this ask and–

• I think the first thing to realize is that Bad Bob Zimmermann is the most extroverted extrovert to ever extrovert on this mortal plane. Bad Bob probably got into hockey because his parents had no idea what to do with his boundless energy and the fact that he literally never stopped talking ever and hockey (at 4 years old) seemed like a good way to try to work some of that energy out. Failing that, it at least made lil Bobby someone else’s problem for three hours a week (which then became an hour a day, and, look by the time he is like 8, they just let him hang out at the ice rinks the moment school is out because he knows all the staff by name and there is an endless cycle of other kids for him to play with and it’s a good system! sometimes he even sleeps!).
• And while Jack loves hockey for the game and, largely, to prove himself as an individual (until samwell and bitty), Bad Bob loves hockey for the people. Bad Bob took to being on a team like a fish to water and in peewee hockey, Bad Bob got so many penalties because he kept skating onto the rink to participate in cellys even when he was on the bench. (or in the penalty box! Dear, god, bob, you cannot– yup, he’s on the ice again. dammit.). Bad Bob just loves the feeling of being on a team and the connections you make with your teammates and the connections you make with the other team’s players and– look, part of the reason Bad Bob worked so hard at hockey is because leaving that team environment would kill him. (seriously, i bet bad bob has the worst time adjusting to life after the nhl. alicia is probably so worried.)
• Anyway, all this to say, that twitter is made for retired Bad Bob Zimmermann. Suddenly, he can talk to people all day long even if he is alone in his house or even if he is stuck at one of Alicia’s formal events and has to listen to speeches. You know how introverts sneak off at parties to read books on their phone in the bathroom (no? that’s just me?) – well Bad Bob sneaks off to reply to tweets (and text in his Groupme with all his old teammates). 
• Of course, Bad Bob is still pretty freakin’ famous and his constant activity causes a stir and you know how carrie fisher is like the freakin’ twitter queen of the modern day? That’s Bad Bob Zimmermann. He is the Dad of twitter. He retweets funny things about himself and memes and, contrary to popular belief, he is not angling for a commentator or sports analyst job on Sports Illustrated so his filter is literally zero. BBZ is un-ironically the coolest dad ever. 
• Let’s swing to Jack for a second. And I’m afraid I am going to be HELLA cheesey and talk about those 5 Love Languages. I think perhaps the primary miscommunication between Jack and BBZ is that they are not speaking the same love language at all. Bad Bob Zimmermann is literally all about verbal words of praise. With a side of physical touch. That is how Bad Bob gives love. He is alright with however people what to give love to him (to him, Alicia’s laughter at his bad jokes is love and when Jack takes the time to call him, he glows for days afterwards).
• However, the conflict is that that is not how Jack Zimmermann gives or recieves love. Jack Zimmermann works that Quality Time lifestyle. He wants someone to barge in his room and sit on his bed (Shitty), he wants someone to study with him for hours even if they are working on different projects (Bitty), he wants someone to sit with him for hours even if they say practically nothing the whole time (Lardo). When Jack Zimmermann tries to give love, gift-giving comes into play, but his natural state is Quality Time.
• And, unfortunately, that is the one thing that Bad Bob can’t give him. When Jack was growing up, Bad Bob was still away playing for huge chunks of time and then by the time he is retired and home, Jack is playing hockey for hours a day and then on the Q and then before either of them know it, Jack is off to Samwell. 

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