fandom-mama:

so i am gay and trash but especially i am gay trash and i invite you all to come with me on this gay trash journey

picture this:

• haus party
• bitty is having the time of this life
• jack is in his room, being a nerd
• bitty meets some cute boy
• “come into my parlor” said the spider to the fly
• (bitty is a gay southern siren & no one can convince me otherwise)
• bitty & said boy go upstairs to bitty’s room
• jack is still in his room, being a nerd
• “wow, i am learning so much about the canning industry in 1910′s France” he says to himself
• bitty and Random Cute Boy are giggly and flirty in the hallway as bitty unlocks the door
• the walls of the haus are thin because the haus is a deathtrap
• jack hears That Cadence of Voice, the one that means sex is bout ta happen
• “oh” thinks jack
• “this is fine” thinks jack
• “nothing wrong here” thinks jack as he tries to block out any noise he might hear with headphones
• “definitely not being creepy” thinks jack as he definitely does not overhear noises from across the hall
• “definitely not consumed with lust and/or jealousy” thinks jack as he lies to us, God, himself, and every single person in the immediate vicinity
• bitty is Getting Some
• bitty has no idea that jack can hear him Getting Some
• jack has no idea what to do with his hands
• jack ends up falling asleep, laying flat on his back, hands pressed to the mattress so they don’t do anything dumb and traitorous
• Random Cute Boy is an innocent in all of this and vanishes into the ether the next day like the hastily constructed plot device that he is